


The Sound of Infinity

by The_Two_Monkeys



Category: Red Dead Redemption
Genre: Butterfly Effect, Canon Dialogue, Canon Rewrite, Diary/Journal, F/M, Fix-It, High Honor Arthur Morgan, Hurt/Comfort, Original dialogue, Real Life, Slow Burn, Spoilers, Time Travel, Western
Language: English
Status: In-Progress
Published: 2019-01-20
Updated: 2019-06-15
Packaged: 2019-10-13 12:04:25
Rating: Mature
Warnings: Creator Chose Not To Use Archive Warnings
Chapters: 21
Words: 64,794
Publisher: archiveofourown.org
Story URL: https://archiveofourown.org/works/17487722
Author URL: https://archiveofourown.org/users/The_Two_Monkeys/pseuds/The_Two_Monkeys
Summary: Leyla Coleman works as a historian in the Strawberry Education Center for the American Old West History Project.One day, she gets an old journal to examine, and suddenly finds herself in the year of 1899.Figuring how and why she was able to time-travel, she gets to know the author of the diary: Arthur Morgan, a member of the infamous Van der Linde gang.Will she be the one to change his fate and save him?





	1. Leyla Coleman

**Author's Note:**

> WARNING: If you are not familiar with the complete story of Red Dead Redemption 2 and/ or you do not wish to know about the plot, please do not continue reading.  
> In case you do not mind any spoilers, see the end of this chapter for more notes.

The sun was setting languid and merciless in the sky, like a fireball melting to the sea. Tumbleweed was rolling around in senseless circles, stirring up dust taken away by the wind. In the distance, the shadow of a rider with his horse became more and more shapeless as he was moving towards the horizon.  
  
Suddenly, the screen went white and the light switched on. The children were blinking rapidly, irritated by the interruption.  
“Okay, that's all I have for you today! I hope you enjoyed your stay here at the Strawberry Education Center. Make sure you don't leave any of your belongings here.“  
Leyla Coleman clapped her hands and waved the class out of the video room.  
“That was great, Miss!” a little girl said as she passed her at the door.  
“Thank you, I'm glad you liked it” Leyla smiled, the teacher thanked her for her efforts and guided the jabbering crowd out of the building.  
It was her last group for today, so she turned off the projector and shut down the computer with the educational movies. The cleaning woman was already setting up her mop and nodded in her direction.

“Had a good day?” she asked, her lips curled and showed her white teeth that stood in contrast to her chocolate brown skin.  
“Sure. Just could've used one of those kids for dinner, I'm starving.” Leyla made a face and rubbed her stomach. The older woman laughed and started to wet the mop.  
“You just work too hard honey, gotta have some fun for a change!”  
“I do! I just... don't enjoy the fun everybody else has...” she said quietly as she went over to her small office to pick up her things.  
The cleaning lady sighed: “I know, I know... well, have a nice evening then, Miss.”  
“Thank you, see you tomorrow then!”

Plugging in her headphones and getting her backpack on, she finally left the building.  
Although it was May, the day was cloudy and gloomy, and Leyla wondered if she would ever see the sun again.  
If the roads hadn't been resurfaced, they sure would be muddy from the rain.  
Strawberry wasn't the place to be, that she knew. It was a small touristic town, the foods were ridiculously expensive and the bars always full of strangers.  
Still, it wasn't bothering her too much, for she preferred being home alone anyways.  
So she was using the direct way home, trying to avoid larger crowds of people visiting the museums and galleries.

It was her first year in the Education Center, and she did in fact like it - she had the opportunity to make history come alive.  
After college, she hadn't been sure what to do professionally, but then she read about the American Old West History Project in Strawberry, and she immediately knew that this was her chance.  
So she had traded the hot desert from Arizona with the deep, dark woods near the mountains, and for every passing month she missed the warmth and the drought.  
But the job was fine, and she had done some interesting research so far. But deep inside her she knew that she was missing something in her life, even if she couldn't tell what exactly.

“Here we go... another day in this lovely town is over...“, she muttered when she shut the door to her flat behind her, and leaned her back against it.  
Her head tilted back, and she closed her eyes for a moment, her vision filled with stars and shapes. She took a deep breath and sighed before she eventually went to the kitchen to make some coffee.

Some days she was just feeling as if she was being exiled from a home that she never really knew.  
Leyla was born and raised in Chicago, but when her parents had died in that horrible car accident when she was barely 11 years old, she was raised by her uncle Charles. He was the older brother of her father, and she only knew him from some family celebrations before. He had a horse ranch near Phoenix, and despite the grief and the sorrow about her loss, she never knew a place she had ever been to that felt that much like home.

She couldn't clearly remember a lot from that time, her immature brain sort of blacked out in the face of those terrible events. But she still kept those pictures in her mind of him picking her up from her parents house, gently petting her head and comforting her.  
They had taken a plane back to Arizona, and then she sat beside him in his big, red pickup truck, not saying a single word. After they had arrived, he took her hand and led her to the stables where the horses were held.  
Charles opened one of the boxes, and a beautiful black stallion looked down on her. Her uncle gently nudged her forward, giving her a sugar cube and said: “That's Caesar. Give it to him, let him smell you.”  
Leyla had been a little terrified by the huge horse, but she did as she was told, and Ceasar gently pursed his lips, taking the sugar and chewing it with a crunching noise. His nose was soft and warm, the little hairs tickling her palm playfully.  
And she smiled.

Uncle Charles had been a kind, but quiet man, never needing many words to express his feelings anyway. He had never been married and had no children, but somehow he managed to get along with her just fine.  
Everyday when she got home from school they worked in silent agreement on his farm, cleaning out the stables, brushing and feeding the horses, and sometimes going for a ride.  
Despite her initial skepticism, she loved to ride Ceasar, a fine Kentucky Saddler that was ever so patient with the little girl on his back. Charles always used to say that she was the only one Ceasar accepted on his saddle.

Her uncle was one of those men of the good old days, who had a preference for anything related to the Wild West.  
He loved italian western movies such as 'A Fistful of Dollars' or 'The Good, the Bad and the Ugly', and Leyla spent almost every weekend with him watching them. Later, when she was older, she preferred the modern films from Quentin Tarantino or the Coen Brothers, and they had hours of discussions about the advantages and drawbacks of the different styles.  
He also taught her how to shoot, first with an air gun, later with a rifle.  
And there was always music playing from somewhere in the house, like old Country, Blues and Folk records.  
When Leyla was 15 or 16 years old, she wanted a guitar for Christmas, and her uncle bought her a beautiful, but used western guitar, so she started teaching herself by books and listening to the tunes on the record player. She never managed to play really good, nevertheless Charles asked her to play for him, watching her with a fond smile on his face.

And whenever she found herself crying, her heart aching from a sudden memory and her chest feeling heavy, he was always there for her.  
That was something she really appreciated about him: he wasn't like all of those hypocrites, telling her that she had to be strong and that, eventually, life would go on and her parents wouldn't want her to be sad about them.  
No, he accepted her pain and her despair when it came to her, and looking back she knew that this truly helped her healing.

Her uncle encouraged her to go to college, and she knew that it wasn't easy for him to get the money for that. But he insisted her to get properly educated, and so she started studying history at the University of Phoenix.  
He also wanted her to get a flat there, but she stubbornly refused to move away and leave him alone with the farm. So she attended to her classes in the morning and helped him with the horses in the afternoon.  
Leyla had been so busy with everything, that she somehow wasn't aware how Charles became weak, or maybe she just didn't want to realize it.

It was the day of her final examination when she got home and found him laying on the ground in the stables, Caesar being skittish and whining in his box.  
He was barely breathing, his face all white and his arms hanging limp on his side.  
When they got him into the Hospital, the doctors told her that he suffered from cancer in the terminal stage.  
Leyla felt like loosing ground below her feet, she couldn't even cry at first. She sat at his bedside, and when her uncle grabbed her hand with his, so cold and thin, she knew.

He passed away three months later, selling the ranch and the horses before to a friend who was a horse breeder, too.  
Leyla first wanted to keep the ranch, but she soon understood that it wasn't possible for her to pay for everything, or to pay off the high debts.  
She knew the man who bought the ranch well, and he promised her that she could come to visit Ceasar anytime she liked.

And then, standing at the edge of nowhere, her few belongings packed up into boxes, not knowing what to do and where to go, she saw the job offer at the university.  
She didn't know where Strawberry was, nor what it looked like, but it was a chance for a new beginning - and she took it.

While Leyla sat on her kitchen table thinking of the old days, her hands stiffened around the cup, the coffee cold by now.  
The past seemed so far away by now, and the felt the familiar sting in her chest that reminded her of all that was lost.  
Sighing, she poured the coffee in the sink, grabbed a sandwich from the fridge and went to her living room. She took out her laptop computer and checked her mails while she was eating her dinner.

The first thing she saw popping up on the screen were notifications from her social media account, notifying her about new posts from her friends.  
Rolling her eyes, she quickly deleted them and scrolled down to look for more important messages. She was tired of people sharing their every piece of life online, posting pictures of their travels, their pets, their food or whatever the hell they were doing right now.

Sometimes she got the thought that she was simply born in the wrong century, and her work in the Educational Center just underlined that.  
The project she was working on was about reconstructing daily life in the Old West, just how people were working and living. So she collected and studied every object she could get, from newspapers or books, letters and maps to photographs.  
This gave her detailed Information of what life was like back in the 19th century, and she prepared this knowledge especially for school classes learning about american history.

When she was sorting out her mails she saw an unread message from Mr. King, the head of the Center, in her inbox.  
Curious about its content, she clicked on the link and quickly skimmed through the mail.  
She felt her heartbeat rise when she read about some new research objects Mr. King had provided for her to study, apparently a journal and some pictures.  
She was looking forward to the new challenge, wondering what secrets those things would hold for her to uncover.

As her mood was brightening up, she grabbed her old guitar and practiced playing the rest of the evening, anticipating the stories she was about to read.

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> Hey everyone! So, I'm just another fan of the game, and don't get me wrong - it's brilliant. But the moment I finished it, I had an idea how to fix it.  
> So in this version RDR2 is not a game but reality. I'm using the time-traveling skills as we know them from the movie Butterfly Effect from 2004, where the main character reads his old journals and changes his past. Therefore, it's crucial to know about the whole plot beforehand - so the OC gets the chance to fix it. You can expect some plot twists, romance, angst, music and - of course sensuality (;  
> I've read some real good fanfics here where Arthur gets the happy end he deserves. So I just wanted to say thank you to all those great people out there who give us the fluff we all want to read.  
> Hope you enjoy the story, and if you did - please don’t forget to leave a kudo and/or a comment (:


	2. Strawberry Education Center

When Leyla woke up to the sound of her alarm, she felt an odd tingling in her chest thinking of the message her boss had sent her yesterday evening.  
She was supposed to do some research on a recently found journal, and she felt totally excited about it.  
After her morning routine she got dressed in her favorite jeans and check shirt for work. Deciding to leave out her breakfast, she just quickly grabbed her bag and hurried out of her flat. Her steps felt light and easy on this ever so gray morning, she didn't even bother about the slightly drizzling rain.  
When she arrived at the Educational Center, she greeted her colleagues with a large smile and went to her office.  
  
“Hey sunshine, had a good morning?” Tom, one of the younger museum employees, asked her when she passed him. He was a very nice guy who had worked at the Center for more than two years and had shown her everything on her first day.  
“Mornin' Tom, yeah actually there's some new stuff for me to examine. Mr King told me yesterday” she answered, barely looking at him for she only had eyes for the brown cardboard box on her desk.  
She carefully touched the surface, her fingertips prickling, when she hesitated to open it.  
“Wow, that's cool! What's that he gave you?” Tom had followed her into the office, curiously looking at the box.  
“He wrote that it's a journal, and some photos they found somewhere near Blackwater” she answered him.  
“Well, that sounds like some interesting work! I bet you'll grab this right after the role-play, don't you?” he said with a wink, gently nudging her.  
She frowned. “The _role-play_? Oh damn it, I totally forgot about that..."  
"You better get dressed, the first class is scheduled in half an hour!" He smiled and left her alone with her thoughts.  
Bitter disappointment filled her stomach, her hands still resting on the box she was just ready to open.  
She sighed: "Business before pleasure, I guess," and went out to the dressing room.  
  
The role plays were always fun, and the kids loved them because of the stage design and the costumes: they were copied from historical originals and handmade by a company that also sold cheaper versions of the Wild West clothing to the tourists.  
But right now Leyla would have preferred looking at the new research objects though.  
She put on a cotton chemise first, then a light corset - not the heavy ones for the upper class ladies - and a simple work dress at last. A small belt and some fine leather boots completed the look. Finally, she was doing her long, brown hair in a french braid and secured it with a thin strap.  
"Alright then, 'Miss Sally' is ready for her big performance", she said to herself as she checked the look in the mirror.  
 When she got behind the stage she could hear the children laughing and whispering, waiting for the play to begin.  
"Okay, everybody ready? Let's go then" Tom said to the other three actors, some male students who were working at the Center. They were also dressed in Wild West look with button up shirts, waxed cotton jackets and leather hats.  
  
The play was about a family that was traveling with their plane wagon to buy some land and getting attacked by outlaws. The actors always picked two kids from the audience to play the children, usually a boy and a girl, and gave them some accessories to wear. A gang of three outlaws came and abducted the mother, and the father finally freed her from her tormentors. The story was supposed to illustrate how difficult and dangerous life was back in the days, but it also prepared the children for the exhibition that followed afterwards.  
After about thirty minutes they were done and the children applauded the small cast frantically. They all grabbed their hands and bowed before they sent the two kids back to the group and left the stage.  
"You really would have been a good actor, Leyla" Tom mocked when they went back to the dressing rooms.  
She rolled her eyes and groaned. "Is that so?"  
"Sure. Besides, I think you're doing everything great" he gave back, his cheeks slightly reddening.  
"Tease", she said, cuffing him playfully before she left to change her clothes.

After the play Leyla guided two other groups through the exhibition and then the movie was shown. It was midday when she guided the last group out of the video room and went to check her schedule for the rest of the day. Fortunately she was free for the afternoon, so she wasted no time and immediately went back to her office. Full of anticipation she grabbed the box and lifted the cap to look inside before anybody could interrupt her again.  
Marveling, she pulled out an outworn leather covered journal safely packaged in a plastic bag, it's edges heavily torn and the paper dry and brittle. There once must have been a strap to hold it close, but it seemed to be ripped.  
Beneath the book were some black-and-white-pictures that were also packed with plastic.

Something about this was different, Leyla could feel it.  
She wasn't able to say what exactly lead her to this conclusion, it was more of a sense, a vibration in the air that she could not name.  
Without further thinking she put her equipment, a camera, some tweezers and brushes and her cotton gloves in the box and carefully placed the journal and the pictures on top. She closed the lid, grabbed her things and went out of her office.

Right the moment she reached the front door, Tom suddenly came out of nowhere to stop her. "See, I knew you would get it right after work", he grinned, amused by her looks.  
"Yeah well, guess you got me here." She smiled thinly, slowly growing impatient.  
"Okay Tom, have a nice day then" she said and wanted to walk around him.  
He suddenly held out his hand and grabbed her elbow. "Leyla, I..." He cleared his throat, letting go of her arm when he saw her frowning at the unwelcome attempt.  
"Sorry, uh, I was... I mean, I was wondering if you would, you know, go to dinner with me?" His face was now turning deep red, and he was looking to the floor.  
Leyla's hands tensed around the cardboard, and she felt her stomach turn at the invitation.Tom was a nice guy, but actually not someone she would spend the evening with.  
"Uhm, well you know, I've got lots of work to do so... maybe next time" and then she went off to the street.  
"Okay, bye Leyla!" Tom was calling from behind her, and she nodded in his direction.  
  
She somehow felt sorry for him and was hoping that she didn't embarrass him too much, but she didn't show any interest in more than friendship. Back at college she had some boyfriends, not more than summer flirts and smooching in the library.  
She was in bed with one of them but it wasn't exactly as she was expecting it. In fact, she didn't experience a lot of pleasure in that, so she thought maybe it was the best to stay single. Getting off on herself was still more fulfilling and less complicated than having a boyfriend, but deep inside she knew, that it wasn't just about sex. She just never really felt attracted to somebody, like feeling a deep connection that went far beyond everything physical.

Leyla shook her head, trying to focus on the work that she was about to do, and walked back home as quick as she could.

She finally arrived at her flat, quickly kicked her shoes off and shoveled some cereals with milk in a quite uncivilized way, just to fill her stomach and prevent her from getting hungry while she was working. Then she cleared her desk, put on a special lamp and took out her working supplies and a notebook. She put on her gloves, sat down and got herself ready to unpack the journal.  
Again, she felt that odd sensation in her chest when she opened the plastic bag, and the smell of the old leather stirred something inside of her. It felt quite heavy at the touch, and the paper didn't seem to get too damaged by time. She carefully opened it, afraid that it would fall apart at her touch.

The very first page seemed to be ripped out as far as she could tell from the frayed paper in the middle. What now appeared to be the first page showed something like a map saying 'Blackwater' in delicate letters, written with what she thought mus have been a pencil. She was wondering if a woman had been writing this journal, while she grabbed her camera and took a picture of it, smiling at the sight of the small town it once used to be.  
She then took her tweezers and turned the page. Astonished she looked at a nice sketch of the Blackwater shore, showing some trees and a building she couldn't identify.  
Again, she took a picture and then turned to the next page that seemed to be the very first entry.

_I bought this new journal after the last one got destroyed in that fire all that months ago, whenever it was. Haven't written or drawn much in the past few months, but I was missing it more than I thought I would, and finally near a store, so here I am, I guess._

Leyla was unaware that she kept holding her breath while she was reading, and so she gasped for air, clutching her free hand to her chest.  
The way the sentences were written she now doubted that it came from a woman, but the writer hadn't revealed his name so far.  
She just felt as if she had opened a door to the past, it had only cracked open for a small beam of light, but it was there in all it's forgotten glory.

Whoever had been the author of this journal, she was eager to know the story behind it, and so she kept on taking pictures and making notes, soon losing herself in the wonderful unconsciousness of reading.


	3. The Journal

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> WARNING: This chapter will reveal pretty much the complete main story of Red Dead Redemption 2, so if you don't want to know any heavy spoilers, please do not continue reading!  
> In case you do - have fun!

The more the journal revealed herself to Leyla, the more she doubted her luck on getting this piece of history.  
The story written in there was unbelievable, yet plausible, considering the time it was emerged.  
She caught herself mumbling things like "no way!" or "can't be real" while she was skipping from page to page.  
Some pages seemed to be missing, there were more frayed pieces of paper from every time to time, but she was still able to read it properly.

What she knew so far from reading, was that the author had been a part of an outlaw gang on the run.  
She wrote the names of the other members that were mentioned in her notebook:  
The leader _Dutch_ and his girlfriend _Molly_ , _John_ and his wife _Abigail_ with their son _Jack_ , _Bill_ , _Javier_ , _Micah_ , _Hosea_ , _Charles_ \- she smiled at the familiar name- , _Reverend Swanson_ , _Sean_ , _Lenny_ , _Mary-Beth_ , _Tilly_ , _Susan_ , also several men the writer just seem to call by their surnames like _Trelawney_ , _Pearson_ and _Strauss_ and a guy called _Uncle_.

Apparently, a robbery in Blackwater had gone wrong, some other members had been killed and the remaining gang had to flee to the northern mountains.  
Shortly after they had arrived, they stumbled into a hideout from a rival gang called the _O'Driscolls_ and captivated one of their enemies named _Kieran_ , who later switched sides and became a member of Dutch's gang.  
They also found a woman by the name of _Sadie Adler_ , who was made a widow when the O'Dricolls invaded her home and killed her husband.  
They found out that the gang had been planning on a train robbery from _Leviticus Cornwall_ , the most powerful business owner at that time, and after cleaning out their camp, the leader Dutch decided to take on the plans for that robbery.  
Leyla had been reading a lot about this corrupt oil baron Cornwall, who used to own almost half of the south by the end of the 19th century. It didn't surprise her that this guy hired the _Pinkerton Detective Agency_ after one of his private trains was robbed.  
The Pinkertons were hunting the gang while they continued to rob banks, trains and ranches to get money, and therefore they had to move again and again to outrun the law.  
Some of the larger towns that were mentioned still existed, like Blackwater, Saint Denis and even Strawberry, while some others just remained Ghost Towns nowadays.

The gang seemed to push their luck way too much in attempting to play two feuding plantation families against each other in order to take their gold.  
The gang member Sean got killed in an ambush, and the only child running with them was kidnapped.  
Again, they moved to another location near Saint Denis, which had been a modern industrial city by the time.  
The abducted boy Jack was held captive by _Angelo Bronte_ , a prominent crime lord, and they managed to peacefully negotiate Jack's release after reaching an agreement for business.  
While still being hunted by the Pinkertons and attacked by the O'Driscolls, the gang got false information from Bronte about a trolley station, and when they tried to rob it, the local law enforcement was onto them as well.

Dutch as the leader seemed to somehow lose his mind over all those events, as far as Leyla could tell from the writer's comments.  
They appeared to be very close to each other, he often mentioned Dutch being like a father to him, but he more and more questioned his decisions regarding the well-being of the gang.  
Dutch decided to attack Bronte in revenge and rob the Bank of Saint Denis to get enough money for running off to Cuba, but again, it all went horribly wrong.  
Hosea, a man very dear to the writer, and Lenny got killed, John got captured by the police and the rest of the gang was forced into hiding.  
The writer himself took the money and fleed on a boat with Dutch and Micah, a somehow wild and unpredictable protegee of Dutch the author was not very fond of.  
But the boat sinks during a storm, and they find themselves stranded on the small island Guarma, all their money sunk at the bottom of the sea.  
The three men managed to befriend with the slaves on the sugar plantations held captive by a man named _Fussar,_ and escaped with a boat to return to Saint Denis.  
Being reunited with the remaining gang in the swamps, the Pinkertons attacked them, forcing them to flee once again to a mountain camp in the East.

Leyla put the journal down for a moment, taking a deep breath and closing her eyes.  
_What a story!  
_Her head felt dizzy trying to somehow process all the information from the last few hours. She could barely imagine the despair and the frustration the writer of the journal must have experienced during this odyssey.  
As far as she could tell from his very contemplative thoughts he expressed every now and then, he must've been very unhappy with his situation, doubting his every action and searching for the meaning in his life.  
Even the relationship to his former fiancé _Mary_ didn't work out in spite of him trying to help her.  
His self-criticism was almost unbearable for her to read about, for she thought him to be very loyal and good hearted still.  
He indeed was an angry man, disillusioned and bitter, but sometimes there was a dry sense of humor and sarcasm in his words that made her laugh.

He was a criminal, still.  
Even if she could sense the remorse he felt for his actions, when he killed or hurt people for the wrong reason.  
But was there ever a _right reason_ to kill somebody?  
Leyla wasn't sure.

All of a sudden she remembered the photographs in the plastic bags at the bottom of the box, and she took them out carefully.  
The first one showed a cute dog, maybe a fox hound, curiously looking into the camera.  
She smiled and took the next picture to take a closer look.  
This one was nearly faded, she could only suggest that it was a mug shot but it was difficult to read the name.  
She would give that one to the photo lab to fix it.  
The third picture however was a true gem: three young, handsome men were shown, two of them sitting on chairs and the other standing behind them.  
Leyla used a magnifier to take a closer look at them.  
They seemed to be of different age though, the one sitting on the left being the youngest.  
They all wore a quite serious and stern look on their faces, as if they wanted to appear strong and unapproachable.  
Wondering they were members of the gang, Leyla put the pictures aside.

She stretched her neck and went back to the journal, curious about what was going to happen further.  
She turned to the next page and saw the familiar drawing of plants and animals, so detailed and beautiful she could barely take her eyes off it.  
He was indeed very gifted, his sketches keeping the vibrancy and the vividness of everything he captured in it.  
There was no doubt that he loved the wilderness, the nature that surrounded him, and he viewed civilization with suspicion.  
She smiled, and turned the page again, carefully not to smudge any of the graphite.  
When she continued reading, a deep frown appeared on her face, and she instinctively covered her mouth with her free hand.

"Oh no..." she whispered and felt her eyes water.

_Turns out I'm not very well. Got tuberculosis. Doctor did not know how long I would last._  
_All those bullets shot at me, all them horses threw me, all them fights and it was beating up that pathetic little fella Downes that killed me, I reckon. He's the only man I been near was real sick._  
_He begged for mercy and I beat the bastard and he died. And now I'm dying too. The way of the world._  
_My mind is racing, of course. And what kind of man have I been? What kind of man am I? What world is this we live in, a land of fury or a place of love? Am I being prepared for eternal damnation? Am I past any kind of saving?_  
_I don't want salvation. Part of me has always longed for death._  
_Well, here it comes, I suppose._

His delicate handwriting became somewhat spidery, as if his power was gone.  
She knew what this diagnosis meant at that time, yet she didn't expect this to happen at all.  
She flipped the pages back, searching for a certain part of the journal.  
There it was, the gang was settled near the town of Valentine in a camp called Horseshoe Overlook, when Strauss, the bookkeeper and loan shark of the gang, sent the author to collect money from his debtors, including a rancher named Mr. Downes.  
The writer detested the job, but went away nevertheless, unable to get the debt after he beat up the poor man.  
When he pays the family a visit later, Mr. Downes already passed away, leaving his now widowed wife and son forced to leave the ranch and paying back their debts.  
So the rancher must have suffered from tuberculosis, and when he beat him up he probably got in contact with his blood and got infected.

_What a sad and miserable turn of events_ , she thought, feeling her throat going dry.

Leyla skipped the pages, her eyes racing through the lines in panic, when she tried to figure out what happened.  
She found out that he rescued the imprisoned John with the help of Sadie, the widow they picked up back in the north when they had attacked the O'Driscoll hideout.  
This causes trouble with Dutch and Micah, and he distrusts them by now, the gang falling apart more and more.

During their time in Saint Denis he befriended with the chief of an Indian reservation who was in conflict with a U.S. government station nearby.  
The writer intended to help the natives, but Dutch uses the hotheaded son of the chief for his own purposes and persuades him in attacking the Fort of the Army.  
In the meantime, Dutch kills Leviticus Cornwall, and Colm O'Driscoll, leader of the rival gang, gets hanged.

Leyla halted, switching to her computer to check if she was right: she used a search engine and typed the name of Cornwall, browsing an online encyclopedia to find information about him.  
And there it was, Cornwall died in 1899, so this must have been the year all those events took place.  
She nodded silently and went back to the journal.

The gang planned to rob a train again, one of those 'last jobs' Dutch was hoping for, to get money for Tahiti or Cuba, or whatever it was.  
And suddenly, the script changed dramatically.

_Being back in this country made me dig up Arthur's old journal again._

She was confused, what had happened?  
Leyla read further and discovered, that it was John Marston, who was writing now, apparently many years after the events of the former writer.

_Arthur._  
She said his name out loud, tasting it on her lips.  
So that was the unknown author's name.  
He must have died, she was sure about that, but was it because of his disease?  
She continued reading the short, somehow flat comments of John, whose sketches seemed more like a child's drawings compared to Arthur's.  
He managed to buy some land and built a ranch to offer his wife and son a life.  
He even met some of his old gang members again, who helped him in to get money and built the house.  
Leyla paused when she stumbled across another paragraph:

_We got married and we danced and Uncle made us laugh - and Jack seemed happy._  
_Sadie left after she fixed herself up. Charles went off something or other, as I knew he would. Uncle ain't going nowhere._  
_Saw Dutch, damn near broke my heart again after all this time. Wanted to kill him but I didn't._  
_Saw Micah and was never gladder to see a man die. Whatever peace and happiness I can find in this world, I know it´s a better place with him out of it!_

When she turned the page, she recognized that it was the last one.  
She assumed that the last train robbery went wrong again, and that the gang was finally falling apart.  
John and his family must have somehow managed to flee, and Arthur gave his journal to him before he died.  
But why was John so angry about Dutch and Micah, since he was happy to see Sadie, Charles and even Uncle again?  
Since he wrote that Sadie needed to 'fix herself up', she supposed that there was a shooting between them where Micah was killed.  
Arthur had mistrusted Micah for a pretty long while, so maybe he betrayed them all in order to get the money for himself - and for Dutch.  
The man Arthur had admired and loved, leaving his psychological son behind for a rat.

Leyla laid down the journal, putting off her gloves and massaged her temples with her eyes closed.  
What a tragedy had happened all those years ago, buried in nothing but time and dust.  
She would have wished a happier end for Arthur, her eyes still stinging with tears.  
She suddenly shook her head - how silly to cry over a person she didn't even know!  
But she couldn't help herself, she was sad and felt sorry for this man and the fate of his loved ones.

She planned to look up the Museum's archives tomorrow to find out more about the O'Driscolls and the Pinkertons, and by lifting her gaze up to the clock at the wall she flinched, it was already past 11pm.  
She wasn't even aware that she was reading for that long, the story completely capturing her.  
Leyla yawned, but decided that she wanted to stay up just for a short while.  
Not caring about the gloves and the tweezers anymore, since she took photos of everything she needed, she took the journal and began to read it again.  
Her eyes got more tired for every page she was turning, and the script seemed to swirl in front of her when she finally fell asleep.


	4. Beaver Hollow

When Leyla woke up, she immediately knew that something was wrong.  
Horribly wrong.  
Her head felt like being hit straight by a wrecking ball, and when she tried to open up her eyes she regretted it right off and squinted them closed again.  
She groaned, her throat hurt, and when she reached her head with her left hand it felt warm and wet.  
  
"What the..." she cursed when she looked at the blood on her fingertips.  
"Aw, see who's awake now" a raspy voice said.  
  
Leyla forced herself to open her eyes again, blinking rapidly as she tried to focus.  
Her vision was blurred, but she saw a dim light that came from something like a candle - or a torch?  
She sat up carefully to check if she was hurt, but the pain in her head was too heavy to tell.  
"W-where am I?", she stuttered, hating how high and thin her voice sounded in her own ears.  
"This is Murfree Hills, princess" the voice was speaking again, and she could hear the nasty laugh of some other people coming from the distance.  
  
As her vision slowly cleared, she looked around and saw that the hard ground she sat on was actually stone.  
The poorly lit surrounding told her, that she was in a cave or a basement.  
She stretched out her hand and felt something like a branch, and she stiffened - it was a cage.  
   
Leyla felt the blood rush in her ears, her pulse was racing and cold fear crept up her spine.  
She tried to swallow, but she couldn't, feeling her breath getting faster.  
  
"Gotta be careful where you camp." The voice was closer now, and she turned her head to face the person it was coming from.  
Behind the wooden bars stood a man, miserably dressed in some ripped pants with his suspenders hanging over his bare, skinny chest.  
His hair was long and filthy, she couldn't even tell the color from the dirt.  
He was playing with a knife, the blade stained from a substance Leyla didn't really want to know exactly.  
Was this a nightmare?  
  
"Who are you? Let me out!" she shouted, pressing herself to the backside of her prison.  
Behind the captor she could see the contour of other men lurking in the dark, slowly approaching.  
"No, stay away from me! Please, somebody, help!"

Then something changed, the shadows disappeared, and she heard them curse and scream furiously.  
She clawed at the branches and pulled herself up, when her vision blackened again, and she felt as if she was going to faint.  
Her fingers held on desperately as she tried to stand on her own two feet, her thoughts turning over and over while she was figuring her way out.  
There was gunfire and more shouting when her fingers reached a rope locking up the door to her cage.  
"No, damn it, no! Help, please!" Unable to hold her balance, Leyla fell hard on the stone, feeling nauseated and almost blacking out.  
Suddenly, she heard some different voices coming from far away:  
"Someone's down there, she's alive!"  
"You weren't wrong about these crazy sons of bitches. Charles, you see any more of them?"  
"Not for now... Come on, let's get that poor girl out of the cage."  
  
Leyla tried to sit up once more when another man appeared in front of her, a huge knife in his hands, cutting the rope and entering the cage.  
"No, let me be, please don't..." She felt herself weaken, barely finding the energy to protest when he reached out for her.  
"Just calm down. It's okay, it's okay, shh... you're safe" he crooned, carefully wrapping his arm around her waist to help her up.  
"It's okay. Come on, it's time to go."  
"Is she okay Arthur?" a second man she couldn't see asked.

 _Arthur_ ?  
A memory of that name lit up in her mind, but she wasn't able to catch it.  
"Her head is bleeding, think we should take care of that wound" he said.  
  
With the man supporting her, they slowly made their way out of the cave.  
From the corner of her eye Leyla was making out broken coaches, barrels and bodies covered with blood on the floor, so she tried not to take a too close look.  
The stranger on her side was breathing heavily, and she could hear a rattle in his lungs.  
Eventually she could smell fresh air and saw the gray light of the dawn at the mouth of the cave.  
  
Outside he led her to a stump and said: "Alright Miss, sit down now."  
She did as she was told and groaned when she felt the sudden pain of her headache.  
She lifted her gaze to look at her savior: he was a tall, broad-shouldered man with dark blonde hair under his leather hat, the light skin of his face covered in a stubbly beard.  
He was wearing a maroon coat and a paisley vest, and she could spot spurs on his boots.  
  
"What do we do with her, Charles?" he asked a dark skinned man who had followed them, looking at her curiously.  
His long, black hair was framing his handsome face, and he wore indian jewelry around his neck.  
"You get her home and I'll go get the others", he said, shortly, walking over to a horse that was grazing a few feet away.  
Leyla blinked - a horse? What the hell was going on here?  
"Where am I?!", she asked flabbergasted, rubbing her eyes with two fingers.  
"A place called Beaver Hollow, in New Hanover" the bearded man said.  
New Hanover? How in the world did she get here, and why was everybody dressed so strange?  
"Where you from?" he asked, his hands resting on his hips as he watched her closely.  
"I-I'm from Strawberry".  
He whistled. "Strawberry, you're mighty far from home, Miss. What's your name?"  
"Leyla. My name is Leyla Coleman."  
"Well, Miss Coleman, this'll all be over. Just try to relax now."

Fumbling on his satchel he took out a small glass bottle and a cloth that he soaked with what Leyla presumed was a tincture .  
"I'll try to clean that wound now."  
He knelt down in front of her, critically examining the side of her head.  
She flinched when he dabbed the cloth on her head.  
"It's not that bad, just a scratch. Probably gives you some headaches for the next days."  
Being so close to her she got the chance to study his face: his skin was sweaty although the air was quite crisp due to the early morning hours.  
Dark circles were sitting under his reddened eyes and his lips were chapped.  
Although the signs of disease did nothing to diminish his handsome features, he didn't look well at all.

Leyla was blinking confused, feeling paralyzed and unable to clear her thoughts.  
Inside her subconscious an idea came up, and she asked him tonelessly: "Who _are_ you?"

He eyed her from head to toe, somehow weighing if she was a threat, but eventually he answered: "I'm Arthur Morgan."  
She gulped. "It's 1899, right?"  
His low chuckle turned into a cough as he was watching her bemused. "As far as I know, yes it is."  
She grabbed a fistful of her shirt and closed her eyes to restrain the rising panic inside of her, trying to focus on the stinging pain that came from her head.  
  
Maybe this was a dream - but it all felt way too real, especially the pain.  
And it looked far too real, too.  
Could it be that it was all a sick joke that someone was playing on her?  
Someone from the Museum's staff maybe?  
It wouldn't be a big deal for them to set up horses and some actors to play her.  
But all the blood and the bodies... She felt her breath accelerating and tried to suppress the upcoming tears.  
  
"Easy now, it's alright. I'll keep you safe. You're safe now, just try to breathe" Arthur calmed her.

How did she get here? She shut her eyes tightly trying to search her memory to recollect what happened.  
The last thing she remembered was reading this old journal - the journal from Arthur.  
It held an unbelievable story inside, a story about an inglorious outlaw gang and it’s doom, about greed, deception and violence, but also about loyalty, regret and love.  
It was the story of a human life, striving for freedom.  
Something must’ve happened while she was reading it - it had been late, and she had been tired, so she was probably falling asleep, but when she woke up she found herself more than a hundred years in the past.  
Leyla silently shook her head in disbelief, slightly rocking back and forth while she was wrapping her arms around herself.

It was simply not possible.  
It was against every law of nature or scientific explanation, human beings were just not able to time-travel.  
That was the stuff science fiction movies were made of, but it didn’t actually happen in real life.

And still, she was here and it was all very real: the overcast sky above her head, the wind in the trees and the blood in her hair.  
She somehow had been catapulted to this place, and she didn’t even have a clue why.  
  
"Wh-who are these people?"she asked.  
"They call themselves Murfree Brood. Some folks just is evil, ain't no point in trying to explain it" he answered.  
"Did they... hurt you Miss?“ Arthur was watching her carefully, searching her eyes.  
"They hit me pretty good I guess“ Leyla answered laconically.  
"I don’t mean that“ he said, his expression now showing true concern.  
She gulped, feeling a lump in her throat.  
Looking down she recognized that she was still wearing the clothes that she last got dressed in.  
They were slightly dirty and her right knee probably got ripped when she fell, but they were intact at least.  
She didn’t wear no shoes either, there were just her socks as she wore them at home.  
"Uhm no, I don’t think so.“

"Good“ he nodded. „So they brought you down here all the way from Strawberry?“ he asked, raising an eyebrow.  
Her thoughts were racing - what was she about to say?  
That she was originally from the year 2019 and accidentally got here by reading his journal?  
He would think she was crazy, if he didn’t get that impression already.  
_Just pretend_ \- she thought - _just like the role plays._

"No, uh, I was heading to... Saint Denis. For work. They caught me on the way. Took my horse and my belongings, I think.“  
He hummed and rose to his feet, obviously her answer was satisfactory to him.  
These were tough times, and a woman getting robbed while traveling alone wasn’t that unlikely.  
"I got some business to do down in Saint Denis, I can get you there.“  
"Okay... well, that’s very kind of you, Mister Morgan.“  
Getting to a city was probably the best option, since she had no money, no home and no proper clothing.  
"Are you okay to ride on my horse a little?“ he asked and reached out his hand.

She nodded silently and took it, letting him guide her to his horse.  
It was a female Andalusian as Leyla could tell, and after he climbed in the saddle her helped her up.  
When he clicked his tongue the horse started trotting, and they left the cave behind.


	5. Arthur Morgan

The dense forest was dark and somehow wild, in a strange and almost haunting way.  
They stumbled across some mangy looking rabbits, the horse getting skittish when they ran between its hooves. Leyla let her eyes wander around nervously, expecting more of these degenerated hillbillies bushwhacking in the undergrowth.  
The road was muddy and stony, so the horse wasn’t too confident and Leyla feared to fall off. She clung closer to Arthur‘s body, her hands buried in fistfuls of his coat as she was holding tight to him.  
  
Arthur didn’t seem to notice, or at least he didn’t let her know.  
He remained silent for more than an hour, just coughing from time to time and clearing his throat from the phlegm. She could feel the rustle going through his lungs at his back, and it hurt her.  
  
“So, Miss Coleman, how about your family?“ he suddenly asked.  
She flinched, still feeling a little dozy and almost drifting into slumber. “What do you mean, Mister Morgan?“  
“Your parents live in Strawberry?“  
“No, my parents passed away many years ago. I used to live with my uncle, he had a horse ranch. But he died too, so I live alone.“  
There. That wasn’t even a lie and it still worked.  
He was quiet for a moment, before he continued: “So you’re not married?“  
“No, no I’m not. What about you?“  
“I was engaged, didn’t work out. Many things didn’t work out as I expected them. An’ now I don’t know what’s wrong or right anymore.“ He was speaking with a strong accent, his words coming slow and drawn out.  
  
She swallowed hard thinking of the implications of what he just said. If the gang was already set in Beaver Hollow, they would soon turn into a mess. Leyla wasn’t sure if Arthur already knew about his disease, but he must clearly feel that something was wrong with him. As if on command, he coughed heavily, his shoulders shaking from the intensity.  
When the seizure was over, Leyla mustered her courage and asked: “Do you believe in remission, Mister Morgan?“  
He didn’t answer immediately, so she almost thought he hadn’t heard her question. “It’s Arthur“, he replied stoic. “ 'Sides, no, I don’t believe in God.“  
“That wasn’t my question, Arthur“ Leyla was persistent.  
He sighed, his voice now low and thick. “There ain’t no remission for men like me.“

The trees soon became sparser and the swamp stretched out its muddy arms into the meadows. Therefore, the road soon had to be mounted with wooden planks, and to her left she could see railway tracks cutting through the landscape.  
They hardly ever met any other people in the woods, but now there were some riders and carriages passing by. Even the temperature was rising quickly in the plains, it must have been around midday and Leyla could hear insects and frogs hiding in the bushes.  
Eventually the first wooden buildings were visible in the distance, and she already could make out the black smoke from the mills in Saint Denis. The horse spooked every now and then they came too close to the roadside where the alligators lurked in the murky water, growling at their unwanted visitors.  
  
Passing some small farms Leyla suddenly felt an empty bleakness thinking of what to do next. As soon as Arthur would have set her down, she was alone, lost in a long forgotten century. Of course, she was familiar with this time, but there was nobody she could trust.  
What was her role in this story, why of all things was _she_ the one to be sent here?  
  
All of a sudden, Arthur was shaken by a heavy cough again. He was struggling for air, but only managed to take panting breaths while he was leaning forward, his horse stopping and turning its ears back.  
“Arthur! Are you okay?“ Leyla was truly concerned when he didn’t calm down.  
She heard him gasping desperately, before he let go of the reins and fell off his saddle.  
“Arthur, no!“ she screamed, jumping off as the horse was whining in irritation.  
He was lying on the ground with his face in the dust, and as she knelt down beside him she grabbed him by the shoulders to turn him over.  
“Arthur, do you hear me? It’s okay, just try to breathe.“ Her hand cupped his head, and she gently stretched his neck to clear his throat.  
“Take up your arms, come on now. Yeah, that’s right, it’s okay“, she tried to calm him when he started coughing again.  
She saw traces of blood on his lips and her heart tightened at the sight.

“Gimme a minute... gimme a minute,“ he said under his breath. “I‘ll be fine in a minute...“  
She frowned. “No Arthur, you’re not. You need to see a doctor.“  
Placing his arm around her shoulder, she gently nudged him to get up and lead him to his horse. “Can you get up there?“  
He didn’t answer, instead he took the reins and pulled himself up, the horse softly nickering.  
Without hesitation Leyla placed her left foot in the stirrup and swung herself in the saddle in front of him.  
“The hell are you doin‘?“ he protested.  
“Hold on, I‘ll take the lead for now.“ She kicked the sides of the horse and it went into a canter, leaving Arthur’s hat on the ground.

The ranches flew by and soon the first city mansions came into sight. Tall oaks with spanish moss lifted their treetops over the working quarters, and she saw colored people doing their business.  
She stopped the horse and called one of them. “Hey Mister, excuse me! Where can I find a doctor please?“  
The man looked up to her warily, but when his gaze shifted to Arthur his eyes widened, and he pointed out a finger to show her. “Turn left and then right following the street, it’s at the corner, you can’t miss it.“  
She nodded, “Thank you, Sir!“ and pushed the horse forward again.  
“Good luck!“ he called, but Leyla was already out of earshot.  
  
The sound of the galloping hooves echoed from the walls when Leyla made her way through the street. She heard some people screaming and scolding when they had to get out of the way, but she didn’t care.  
Finally, she spotted a door sign and halted in front of the doctor‘s office. She quickly jumped off and turned around to see Arthur almost passed out and risking to fall off his saddle again.  
She stepped closer to him and tucked at his coat: “Arthur, can you hear me? We’re here, you need to get down.“  
His lids fluttered as he tried to focus on her, his breathing shallow and rustling. He almost stumbled while trying to dismount, and Leyla had to support him so that he didn’t fall over.  
He coughed “It’s okay, I just... I just...,“ and then he collapsed, his limp body too heavy for her to hold, and she carefully lowered him to the ground.  
Seized with panic, Leyla cupped his cheek and gently brushed the sweaty strains of hair out of his face.  
  
At this moment, seeing him like this, she understood what she was meant to do.  
His satchel was hanging loose at his side, and she quickly sneaked her hand inside, soon finding the object she was looking for.  
“Okay Arthur listen, you have to get up now, it’s right here, okay?“ she whispered imploringly.  
He groaned and pushed himself up, still weary and shaky.  
She guided him through the door and went to the front desk, where a young lady sat in a wooden chair.  
“Excuse me Miss, Mister Morgan here needs to see a doctor, it’s urgent please!“  
The woman looked at them in horror and rushed off to do what she was asked for. A few seconds later, a gray haired man with slender glasses came with her.  
“Alright, bring him in here“ he said, and opened the door to his examination room.  
Arthur limped, supporting himself with one hand to the wall, then the door was closed.  
“I‘ll wait outside,“ Leyla mumbled and stepped back, her feet now sucked up with mud and grit.  
The receptionist eyed her appearance suspiciously while she was walking back to her desk.  
“Please take a seat while you wait, Miss,“ she offered, pointing at the waiting room.

Leyla nodded and walked over to a bench out of the lady’s view.  
Cautiously grabbing at her back, she took out the journal from her waistband. The leather felt smoother now, and the string that held it closed was intact.  
Feeling the strange sensation overwhelming her again, she took a deep breath and opened it.  
She tried to remember when Arthur got sick: he wrote something about a rancher called Mr. Downes he was collecting debts from. It was after they arrived at their camp Horseshoe Overlook.  
Leyla flipped the pages, trying to find the chapter she was looking for. There it was, she could see the familiar handwriting and the wonderful drawings.  
She could hear muffled noises from the next room, the doctor talking to Arthur silently.  
Ignoring their conversation she started to read, hoping that her ability or whatever it was would work again.  
  
_Finally a thaw in this god awful weather. We got off the mountain and rode east into some pretty enough country called the Heartlands. Ain’t this far east in many a year. Hosea seems to know this country a little._  
_Ain’t been much of a spring. Now holed up at a place called Horseshoe Overlook out of some dumpy little cattle town name of Valentine._  
   
Again, Leyla could feel her fingertips prickling and the scripture blurred once again before her eyes.  
The world was fading and soon there was only darkness.


	6. Horseshoe Overlook

The next time she woke up, Leyla felt the world turning upside down.  
She was lying on her stomach, her arms were crossed behind her back, and she couldn’t untie them. Being unable to move, she felt that she was being moved by a constantly up and down motion. This and the uncomfortable pressure on her intestines made her feel sick, and she groaned.  
Suddenly, she felt something hitting her cheek. The burning sensation hurt, but also made her open her eyes.  
  
“Shut up, little witch“, she heard someone say.  
In front of her she saw gravel and mud passing by, and with worrying certainty she knew what was going on: she was tied up on a horse back.  
Leyla tried to look up and catch a glimpse of her surroundings. She spotted trees and mountains and heard the distant babbling of a river. Fear crept up in her chest, the sweat built up in small pearls on her forehead.  
She had been captured again, she was helpless - _again_.

Her mind was racing, weighing up her options.  
Obviously she could just let herself fall off the horse, but this was useless since her legs were tied up too, so she would just risk getting hurt.  
Lifting her head, she looked around - there, right on the other side of the road she could make out a rider.  
  
“Help!“ she cried, but her mouth was dry and it was only a pathetic squeak that came out.  
“What are you doing?“ the voice said angrily.  
She cleared her throat, trying again: “Hey, you there! Help me, please!“  
Once more a merciless hand smacked her temples, but she went on: “Help, somebody!“  
  
Suddenly, the horse neighed and sped up it’s trot, and Leyla was shaken, fearing to fall off. There was the sound of shooting and pounding hooves, the stranger in front of her swearing like a trooper.  
He went silent immediately and his lifeless body slipped off his saddle. The horse slowed down until it stopped, breathing nervously.  
  
Leyla felt her heart pounding against her ribs and her ears were ringing.  
She heard the muffled noise of footsteps behind her, then two hands were wrapped around her waist and gently lifted her from the horse back.  
“It’s okay Miss, you’re safe now.“  
The deep voice with the thick accent was familiar.  
It was no other than Arthur Morgan who was now standing right in front of her.  
He was looking way healthier now, his skin was a little irritated here and there, but it was still glowing. His beard and his hair were a little shorter, giving him a more clear and sober look. Without the redness, his sea-green eyes looked bright and mesmerizing.

Leyla stared at him but was soon struggling to find her balance, with her feet and hands still tied up.  
Arthur supported her and quickly untied the rope. He was standing very close to her, she could smell the scent of leather, tobacco and musk.  
Her wrists hurt, showing angry red streaks, and her hands were numb. She massaged them while Arthur bent down to cut the rope on her ankles.  
Again, he was there to rescue her, save her from a hopeless situation.  
She turned her head and spotted a body lying in the grass a few feet away from them. She gulped when she saw the wet sparkle of deep red blood on his head, and quickly looked away.  
  
When Arthur rose to his feet again she blurted: “Thank you. I... I thought I was lost.“  
He nodded, examining her if she was hurt.  
“Are you okay, Miss?“ he asked, suspiciously eyeing her.  
“Yes, uhm... I think so.“  
His gaze flew up to her head and a deep frown appeared on his face.  
“The bastard got ya pretty good there.“  
He lifted his right arm and touched the spot where her head was being hit in the Murfree cave.  
She slightly flinched, her skin still being sensitive although the blood was already dry there.  
“Guess he did.“ Her eyes wandered over to the lifeless body. “But you got him better.“  
He snorted: “One of those Lemoyne Raiders, seems he got lost. Anyway, need a ride?“  
  
Leyla didn’t know what to say first - she hadn't thought about what to do actually, before she had grabbed the journal.  
She knew that Arthur would infect himself with tuberculosis from Mr. Downes, so how was she able to keep him from going to the Downes’ ranch?  
  
"Well, actually... I wouldn't know where you could bring me" she answered sheepishly.  
Arthur was watching her carefully under the brim of his leather hat that he was now wearing again, his hands on the hips. He remained silent, waiting for her to continue.  
She cleared her throat: "I used to live at my uncle’s ranch but... he died and I had to leave. So I don't have anywhere particular to go. I was just searching for a place to sleep, when that guy" - she nodded in the direction of the body - "got me. So, right now I don't have a horse or anything."  
This wasn't a lie in the proper sense, she was truly lost didn't know where to go or what to do now.  
He pursed his lips, his eyes slightly squinted, then he sighed. "Alright. So you know how to ride a horse?"  
She eagerly nodded. "Yes, I'm fine with riding."

"Good, guess you can take the stallion of the Lemoyne Raider here."  
He turned and went over to the abandoned Chestnut Pinto Kentucky Saddler that was standing offside grazing. Catching its reins he wanted to move it over, but it neighed unwillingly and tried to bite his hand.  
"God damn it!" he swore, taking a step back.  
Leyla suppressed a smile while she was watching him, standing eye to eye with the stubborn animal. She walked over to help him, but he stretched out his arm to keep her at distance.  
"Be careful, Miss" he hissed, a deep frown on his face.  
"It's okay, just let me try" she assured him, moving forward.  
The horse clattered nervously, it's ears turning back in disapproval. Leyla slowly approached, crooning with a low voice: "Easy, it's okay boy, I'll take care of you know."  
She carefully took the reins, gently lowering the horse's head and petting its neck. "There you go, good boy."  
She continued stroking the mane, whispering sweet nothings while she got over to its side and got up in the saddle.  
  
Looking down she noticed that Arthur was watching her with interest, his mouth slightly opened.  
"You're very good with him" he said approvingly, and went back to his own horse.  
"Just follow me, Miss" he said and spurred on, Leyla close on his track.  
  
She was aware that she had to act like she had never seen him before, and of course as if she didn't knew anything about his future.  
So she sped up to ride next to him and called out: "I didn't ask for your name, Mister."  
He was looking over to her and answered: "It's Morgan. Arthur Morgan."  
"I'm Leyla Coleman. Nice to meet you, Mister Morgan" she smiled, focusing back on the road in front of her.  
  
The environment was way different from the deep forests and the swamp Leyla experienced when she first awoke after reading Arthur’s journal. Now she found herself in a valley of a river cleaving it’s way through the mountains, and nourishing the meadows and groves at the floor. Birds were chirping everywhere, and in the distance she saw the familiar shapes of stags quenching their thirst at the riverbank. Although the sun was high in the sky, the air was crisp and humid, and Leyla felt chilly with just wearing her cotton shirt. The water had shaped the landscape and carved the intense red rocks in surreal forms.  
They followed the tree-lined road up to a plateau, where Arthur led them into the undergrowth. A hardly visible path meandered through the woods, and soon horses came into sight.  
  
„Who’s there?“ a rough voice suddenly said out of nowhere.  
Leyla flinched and nervously looked around, when Arthur answered: “It’s me, Arthur. You buffoon...“  
“Look who’s back“ the voice replied, and she could spot a man standing hidden by some bushes, a rifle in front of his chest  
They slowed the horses to a trot and entered the camp built in a clearing on a cliff. There were tents next to wagons and wooden tables to sit, some fireplaces and posts were the horses were tied.  
When they dismounted, she was unsure how to act, so she awkwardly stood behind Arthur and waited for him to speak.  
  
He walked over to the largest tent where a fancy dressed man sat, a book on his lap. He looked up and smiled when he saw Arthur approaching him and put the book away.  
“Arthur“ he said with a thick and husky voice, almost purring the name. “Good to see you back, son.“  
He was as tall as Arthur, his black hair was curled up in his neck and matched the color of his neatly groomed mustache. He seemed to be older though, and as Leyla took a closer look she suddenly remembered the photograph that came with the journal - he was one of the three men, only that he had been younger when the picture had been taken.  
  
Arthur tipped his hat and said: “Dutch. Ran into one of those Lemoyne guys, he was abducting the lady here. She don’t know where to stay, so I brought her with me.“  
He stepped aside, allowing Dutch to take a look at her. When he eyed her, a deep frowned appeared on his face, and he slightly shook his head with pity.  
“You are safe here now, Miss. What’s your name?“ he asked, slowly walking towards her.  
“Leyla. Leyla Coleman.“  
He nodded and placed his arm around her shoulder. “My name is Dutch van der Linde. Consider yourself a part of my family. Now follow me Miss Coleman, I would like to introduce you to Miss Grimshaw, the good soul of our camp. She will take care of you.“  
Leyla turned her head to take a look at Arthur, but he was already walking to what she supposed was his own tent and didn’t pay her any attention.  
  
Dutch lead her over to some other tents, where two young women sat on some plaids and watched her curiously.  
“Miss Tilly, Miss Karen, would you be so kind to help Miss Coleman here? She had a hard time“ Dutch asked the two and gently nudged Leyla forward.  
  
“Thank you, Mister van der Linde“, she mumbled and walked over to introduce herself to the girls.

“I‘m Tilly“ a beautiful girl with dark brown skin and a disarming smile said, „and this is Karen. Let’s get you out of these clothes.“  
The other, Karen, plucked at her shirt and said: “Oh my, what did they do to you?“ She was a little burlier than Tilly, her skin fair and sprinkled with freckles, her long blonde hair sitting a little unruly around her shoulders.  
Leyla stammered: “Uhm, I... well, my dress was ripped, so I had to take what I could get.“  
Tilly nodded understandingly and Karen went on: “Won’t be too hard to find anything better than this“ and she winked at Leyla. “I‘ll heat up some water for you.“  
  
They went over behind the wagon and told Leyla to sit down. As the tension inside her faded, she recognized how tired and exhausted she was. She didn’t know how long she was held in that cage back in Beaver Hollow, nor when the Lemoyne Raider tied her up. But she was injured, dirty and cold, and she would have given anything for the warm, comfy bed in her flat.  
While the girls chatted with each other, being busy to gather up the things they needed, an older woman stepped over, arms crossed in front of her chest, eyeing her suspiciously. Leyla froze, searching the stare of the woman.  
“Excuse me, Ma’am. I’m Leyla Coleman“ she tried, hoping that she wouldn’t throw her out.  
The woman was scrawny, her look strained and grim, and the vivid color of her light pink blouse didn’t match her appearance.  
She nodded at her head: “Did anybody take care of that wound already?“  
Leyla lifted her hand to touch her encrusted hair and shook her head. The woman clicked her tongue and went away without a word.  
“That’s Grimshaw“, Tilly whispered, “she can be a real pest sometimes.“

The two girls brought a large bucket with warm water and helped Leyla to undress and wash. She felt a little embarrassed first, but considering her situation she thought that she’d been through worse than this. Tilly carefully cleaned and brushed her hair, being aware of the wound, while Karen held a sheet to hide her from the eyes of others. When Leyla washed herself with a cloth, she saw the bruises and marks that the last few hours had left on her body.  
When she was done, they brought her a simple blouse and skirt to wear, pretty similar to the one she always wore at her role-play.  
_Well, isn’t it ironi_ c, she thought to herself.

“Here, try them on,” Karen said and gave her a pair of worn out boots.  
They were a little too big for her, but they would do, so Leyla thanked the girls for their efforts.  
“Let’s see if Pearson’s got dinner ready, shall we?” Tilly helped her up and tucked her arm under Leyla’s to walk her to the fireplace.  
“Ladies”, greeted a heavy set man with a huge top hat on, looking a little unkempt. He seemed to be the camp cook. “The stew is ready."  
“Thanks Pearson” Tilly said, and Karen teased: “Hope it won’t kill us this time!”  
The girls took some of the hearty smelling stew out of a big cauldron and sat down by the fire. Leyla was hungry and the warm liquid felt good, even if the meat was a little stringy.

After a while the other gang members came in sight to get their dinner, and Tilly and Karen delightfully told her about them.  
“That’s Hosea, he’s Dutch’s right hand.” Now Leyla was able to see the third man of the photograph. He was clearly older than Arthur and Dutch, his hair was almost white and his clean-shaven face somewhat careworn.  
“And next to him is Javier, Lenny and Charles.” She recognized the man she had seen at the cave before, a hispanic looking and a dark skinned man sitting next to him.  
“Oh and there’s Mary-Beth and Bill coming from guard duty,” Tilly pointed over to the camp entrance, where another young woman and the man she and Arthur had passed before walked in.  
Mary-Beth just waved her hand to her friends and made her way to the tent, obviously tired from the hours of standing and staring.

Offside in a tent sat another woman eating alone. She looked quite lost and introverted, and when Karen caught her gaze she whispered: “Mrs. Adler, pretty sad isn’t she? The O’Driscolls killed her husband and captured her, we picked her up in the mountains.”  
Behind her was a couple arguing with each other, a small boy sitting in the tent and looking very unhappy.  
“Now look, Abigail and John are fighting again”, Karen said to Tilly.  
“The poor boy. I really wish they would pull themselves together for the sake of Jack,” Tilly answered.  
Then an elegant dressed woman with fiery red hair went to the cauldron, her green dress shimmering in the evening sun.  
“That’s Molly, she’s Dutch’s girl,” the two girls snickered.

“And over there is Mister Strauss and Micah,” Karen said with her mouth full of stew.  
Leyla frowned when she looked over to the two men at the edge of the camp. It was very clear to her who was who: the older man with his neatly combed hair and the glasses must be the bookkeeper. The other one sat alone, a knife in his hand, staring at her.  
Suddenly, he got up and walked over, his whole appearance menacing. He didn’t leaver her gaze, still playing with the knife, when he halted in front of her.  
“What do you want, Micah?” Karen sneered at him.  
He ignored her, eyeing Leyla from head to toe, and she felt uncomfortable. He spit a disgusting brown liquid right next to her feet. His dirty blonde hair was filthy, and she could see leftovers sticking to his long mustache.  
“What do we have here? Another mouth to feed?” he bickered.  
“Back off, Micah” Arthur’s voice suddenly came from behind her. He was leaning on a tree, a cigarette in his right hand, glaring at Micah.  
“So you brought her here, cowpoke? Ain’t surprising me.” Micah gave her one last hateful look and went away.  
“Don’t mind this asshole,” Karen said, “he’s good for nothing.”

Arthur stepped closer, nodding at her. “You feel better now?”  
“Yes, thank you. Tilly and Karen here were very helpful.” She gave them a smile.  
He nodded again. “It’s gonna be alright, you’re safe here.”  
“I know”, she answered.  
He scratched his neck, as if he didn’t know what to say.  
“I’ll leave you to it then. Good night ladies.” He shortly lifted his hat and went away.  
“Arthur is a good man”, Tilly commented.  
“And a good looking one”, Karen added, and again the two giggled and chattered.

When they finished their dinner, the two led Leyla back to their tent, passing two other men who sat on the ground snoring loudly. Karen rolled her eyes and kicked the foot of one who just flinched slightly before going back to sleep.  
“And these two no-goods here are Uncle and Reverend Swanson. If you ever look for a bottle of whiskey, you know where to look first.” Leyla laughed, being more amused by Karen’s reaction than anything else.

“You can sleep here for tonight, there’s not that much room, but we will get along I think.”  
Leyla sat down and immediately felt her head swirl from all the information and the things she had seen.  
“Thank you, you both. I really appreciate what you did for me” Leyla said quietly, looking up to the women.  
“That’s okay honey, just try to get yourself some sleep now” Karen said nonchalant.  
Tilly grabbed a thick wool blanket and gave it to her. “Sleep tight!” she said, and the two went away.

Leyla laid down and snuggled up, savoring the warmth and comfort of her bed.  
The crackling of the fire and the distant voices slowly lulled her into sleep.


	7. Jack Marston

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> Hey you guys, so first I would like to thank every one for reading this so far, I hope you enjoyed it.  
> In this chapter Leyla gets to know little Jack and goes on a fishing trip with him and Arthur. Again I copied some text from the game. There are some missions before they go fishing, but hey - I don't think this is too necessary for the actual plot, and besides as a time-traveller Leyla might be able to change those events without knowing it?  
> So, if you have any criticism or suggestions, please feel free to drop a line! Have fun (:

For the next two days Leyla was busy to get to know the other gang members and to work in the camp.  
Miss Grimshaw didn’t give her much time to recover, and so she had different jobs to do like getting water, chopping wood or washing clothes. But she was okay with it - in fact, it felt pretty good to play her part.  
  
The general mood in camp was kind of tense, she could tell from the social interaction in the group. Especially Bill and Micah were be quite some troublemakers, who provoked the others constantly.  
Some of them, like Lenny and Arthur, kept it cool and didn’t mind, but Javier was making it very clear that he wasn’t fond of being mocked.  
Kieran Duffy, the supposed O’Driscoll member they picked up in the mountains, was held captive by them and had to suffer being tied to a tree. He was a really pitiable sight, but since Leyla knew that he would become a member of the gang sooner or later, she decided not to interfere in the gang matter.  
  
They were apparently still missing some of their members, and if Leyla was recalling it correctly, they would soon reunite with Mister Trelawney and Sean.  
Since they had robbed the train from Leviticus Cornwall recently, they had enough money to get their necessary supplies for the moment.  
She tried to find out what actually happened in Blackwater, but everyone was acting very resistant when it came to that, so she decided it was better not to open a can of worms.  
  
Apart from that, she didn’t get to see Arthur much, because he was out of camp a lot, coming back late in the evening and bringing meat or money from his trips.  
Leyla wasn’t sure how she could manage talking to him without being awkward, and she still felt overwhelmed and numb by the unbelievable events of the past few days.  
She was in fact in the year 1899 and somehow time-traveled by reading a journal. She feared that she would lose her mind if she thought about it too much.  
  
Instead, she spent most of her time with the women in the camp.  
It was pretty easy to become friends with Tilly, Karen and Mary-Beth, they were just sweet and silly and gorgeous. Every now and then Abigail joined them. She was behaving more mature than the others, even a little edgy sometimes, but when it came to her son she was a caring mother of all things.  
Jack was an adorable, sensitive child, who must have experienced many bad things in his young life. Nevertheless, he was polite and actually a little too quiet for his age. Instead of running around and playing, he just sat in his tent reading most of the time.

One afternoon, when Leyla had finished her duties, she went over to him and knelt down.  
“Hey there“ she said, “I‘m Leyla. You’re Jack, right?“  
The boy looked up sheepishly, and nodded. Leyla smiled and reached out her hand.  
“How about taking a walk?“ Jack kneaded his tiny fingers, unsure of what to say.  
“I guess I have to ask momma“ he finally said with a thin voice, turning his head to Abigail who was playing dominoes with Tilly. The boy sat up and ran to her, Leyla chuckled and followed him.  
“Momma, Miss Leyla wants to take me on a walk, may I ?“ Abigail smiled widely and nodded over to Leyla.  
“We won’t be too far away, I promise“, she reassured her.  
“Sure, have fun you two.“

Jack‘s eyes were glistening with glee, and he immediately took her hand and lead the way. She heard the laughter of the other women behind her and couldn’t fight a smirk on her face, letting Jack guide her through the undergrowth.  
All off a sudden he was chattering about stories he had read, fairy tales and fables, where brave heroes were rescuing princesses from dragons and witches. He used sticks and leaves to show her how they fought, and gathered some flowers here and there.  
They sat down under a large tree and leaned their backs against the stem.

“That’s wonderful, Jack“ Leyla said after a while. “I bet you become a great writer when you’re grownup.“  
He blushed and bashfully kneaded his hands again, a habit he seemed to have.  
“No, father wouldn’t like it“ he answered under his breath and his expression turned sad.  
Leyla frowned at the sudden change of mood and gently wrapped her arm around him.  
“You have a strong imagination, that’s a true gift. You should share your creativity with other people“ she tried to cheer him up.  
He looked up to her, his face framed by wild, dark hair that matched the color of his eyes. His mouth was slightly opened when he searched her eyes and said “Really?“

Leyla placed her hands on his small shoulders, rubbing her thumbs over the rough fabric of his jacket, and looked at him straight. “Never doubt who you are and what you are capable of, Jack. You can do far more than you think.“  
Suddenly, Jack slung his arms around her neck and hugged her. Leyla was a little off guarded, but she soon responded to him and took him in his arms. She softly caressed his back when she felt him nuzzling his face on her neck.  
From somewhere behind her she heard Person calling, so she gently released the boy from the embrace to look at him. She saw tear strains on his cheeks, and he sniffed when he was rubbing his nose.  
She took his face in both hands and wiped away the tears, giving him an encouraging smile. “So, what about if we go see what Mister Pearson's got for dinner?“

When they arrived back at the camp, Jack ran over to his mother and told her about what they did in the woods.  
“That sounds great, seems like the two of you had some fun“ Abigail said, tenderly petting the boy‘s head.  
“He’d better learn something useful“ the raspy voice of John said, as he went over to get some stew.  
Abigail gave him a withering look, clenching her jaw. Jack was looking down, his mirth fading immediately, and Leyla felt sorry for him.  
"Why don‘t you go wash your hands before dinner, Jack “ his mother said, and he went away.

Before Leyla could say anything, she saw that Arthur had been back from one of his hunting trips, watching the women from his tent.  
Abigail waved at him and said: "Hey, Arthur. Come here a minute."  
"What is it?" the man asked unwillingly and stepped closer.  
"Can I ask you a favor?"  
"Probably not..."  
"Very funny. Would you... do something with Jack? He seems kind of down. All this upheaval can‘t have been easy on the poor kid."  
Arthur squinted his eyes and said: "Why? Because I‘m your preferred nursemaid?"  
He looked over to Leyla, and she quirked her eyebrow at him.  
Abigail sighed: "Because he likes you and, well... you know his father‘s useless."  
He shook his head and finally gave in. "Okay."  
"Thank you." Abigail smiled at him and went away, so Leyla found herself standing alone with Arthur.

He cleared his throat, nodding at her: “Seems he likes you, too“.  
Leyla smiled and said: “He’s a good boy. A little shy maybe, but he's braver than he thinks."  
Arthur gave her a thoughtful look and said: "Yeah, I guess he's been through some hard times by now."  
She wondered if Arthur was just tough on the outside since he was acting all grumpy and aloof. He somehow still tried to help everybody, not without muttering of course, but he did what he could do. Concerning the difficult situation of the group she could understand his actions, also she knew about some of his thoughts he wrote down in his journal.

They stood silent for a while, watching the camp getting busy in the evening hours. Leyla's lips curved into a smile when she saw the other gang members sitting together, having dinner and talking, just like a big family would do. Thinking about their future, she felt her heart sting, anticipating the things that were about to come.  
Suddenly, Arthur's hand was on her back, gently nudging her forward. "Come on, let‘s get some dinner before there‘s no more left to eat", he rumbled.  
Leyla chuckled "That day shall never come."  
They laughed, making their way to the fireplace.

 

It was in the late afternoon the next day, when Arthur picked up Jack for their fishing trip.  
The boy was sitting in the grass, a stick in his hand, when he was playing one of his stories again.  
Leyla watched them curiously from her tent.

"Watchu up to?" Arthur asked, his voice a little ruff.  
"Playing?" Jack answered sheepishly.  
"Anything fun?"  
"I guess..."  
"You wanna come fishing with me?"  
"Fishing?" Jack asked, seemingly unconvinced at the offer.  
“Sure. You‘re... it‘s about time that you started to earn your keep“ Arthur said, watching him with his hands planted on his hips.  
Jack slowly nodded, chewing his lips, when he finally said: “Okay. Can Miss Leyla come with us?“

Leyla was flabbergasted at the unexpected question, but before she could even say a word, Arthur just looked at her and said: “Sure“.  
Jack smiled at him widely.  
Arthur went over to his horse and said: "Let’s go get your pole then. Now you do have a fishing pole, don’t you?"  
The boy stood up and went back to his tent. "I sure do. Uncle Hosea made me one!"  
"Good, let’s go get it then. Go catch us some fish!" Arthur called, cheering the kid.

Leyla stepped closer to him, putting her hands on her hips. "Guess Jack chose me to be his preferred nursemaid" she teased him.  
He smirked, dropping his gaze while he was preparing his horse. "Well, I ain't too good with kids, there’s no harm in having someone who can handle him better than me."  
"I would see it differently" she said, walking over to the Kentucky Saddler of the Lemoyne Raider, that was tied with the other horses.  
She could feel Arthur watching her from behind, and she grinned.  
Arthur took little Jack on his Palomino Morgan and the three of them made their way out of the camp.

"You feeling better? I know you was a... little sick" Leyla heard Arthur talk to Jack.  
"Oh, I'm fine" he answered, just as he always did.  
"You're a brave kid" Arthur said with a deep, but tender voice, and Leyla couldn't help but being touched at the picture of the two.  
"So, just like you!" the boy said. _What a precious child_ , she thought.

Arthur chuckled: "Well, I don't know about brave... I ain't much of a kid no more. Though your momma might disagree. Her and a few other women I guess..."  
He peeped over to Leyla, she shook her head and smiled.  
"What do you mean?" Jack asked, confused about this vague suggestions.  
"Aw, I'm just talking silly... it's been a tough few weeks up in that snow."  
"I liked the snow!"  
"Yes, but not like that."  
The boy remained silent for a moment, then he asked: "When are we going back to the other camp?"  
"The one near Blackwater?"  
"Yeah."  
Arthur struggled with finding the right words.  
"Well.. we're not. This is our spot... for now anyway."

They followed the road down to a river, where Arthur quickly found a decent spot to unpack his fishing pole. He also equipped the smaller one for Jack, who wrinkled his tiny nose at the sight.  
Standing near the shore, Arthur showed him how to attach the bait and throw the line.  
"Now all we do, Jack, is wait for the fish to take the bait."  
Leyla sat down on a rock nearby and watched the two, just like father and son. It was an atmospheric sight, the clear, blue sky was cloudless, the sun warming the crisp air, and it was quiet except the constant humming of the river and the clicking of the fishing reel. Soon Arthur had a bite and was slowly trying to draw the line without ripping it.  
The boy was becoming more impatient, for his line remained slack, and he complained about things like: "Why am I not catching any?" or "My arms are tired!"  
Leyla suppressed a laugh and said: "Just be patient, Jack, you're fine. There will be one biting soon, you'll see."  
He turned and gave her a doubtful glance, but he continued to stare at the line.

Suddenly, Arthur mumbled: "You know, this reminds me... I taught another boy to fish once, a long time ago."  
"You mean Lenny?"  
He laughed: "No, no, this was long before I met Lenny, long before you was even born."  
Leyla tilted her head - what was he talking about? She knew from his journal that he was engaged with a woman called Mary, he had mentioned this when she first met him up at Beaver Hollow. Did they have a son?  
Finally, he pulled the fish out: "Look, Jack, it's a bluegill! It's almost as small as you! We should really throw these smaller ones back, give 'em a chance to grow up a bit."

"Can I take a break from fishing? I want to make something. I'm gonna pick some of those red flowers, I'll be right back" Jack asked.  
"Okay. Maybe Miss Coleman wants to fish a little instead?" Arthur gave her a challenging look.  
She blinked, surprised by the offer and stumbled: " I... I don't know how to fish actually. " Back in Arizona she knew some lakes and creeks, but she never went fishing with her uncle Charles.  
Arthur shrugged. "I'll teach you."

He handed her Jack's fishing pole, it was smaller than his but therefore better to handle. The cheese bait he equipped earlier was still intact, so she didn't need to take another one.  
"Now, cast your line, swing the rod back over your shoulder, and bring it forward in a smooth motion. Use your wrist, not your elbow," Arthur instructed her.  
She nodded and tried to cast out the line, but it was only flying a few feet, before it dropped with a miserable splash.  
"I know, real pathetic" she said, shaking her head.

He dropped his own pole and stood behind her, gently holding her arms to show her the right motion. She blushed, feeling his warm and firm body against her, recognizing his pleasant smell again.  
Licking her lips, she tried to focus on the fishing pole, but it was quite difficult since his breath was warm against her ear.  
"Don't rush it, fishing ain't about speed, it's about patience. Now, try again, lift the rod up, just like this" he told her, and she could feel his calloused hands around her.  
She caught her breath and followed his lead, and when she was casting the line it flew just in the middle of the water, the floater jumping at the surface.  
"It worked!" she beamed, turning her head to look at him.

He stepped back, smiling approvingly, and said: "See. Now if you feel the tip of the rod twitching, don't yank it yet, that just means one's nibbling. But if you feel a hard tug, that's a fish going for the bait, so yank hard to hook it. "  
She nodded, concentrating on the water and biting her lips. It wasn't long until she felt something draw at the line. When the tug became harder, she hooked the fish and pulled back.  
"I think I've got a bite, look! "  
Whatever was biting the tip, was pulling down merciless, moving back and forth, and Leyla struggled to keep the rod above.  
"See him fighting there? You gotta be careful or you'll break the line. Best to wear him out first before you try'n reel him in."  
Arthur was watching her carefully while she was stemming her feet into the gravel to hold against the tension.

"I think it's a big one. I can't handle him alone" she pressed between her gritted teeth.  
He was behind her again, helping her to draw the fish in.  
Everytime the fish paused his fighting, Leyla hurried to turn the reel while Arthur was holding the pole.  
"C'mon! Almost there!" he hissed, and with a single move they pulled the fish out, stumbling over each other from the sudden release.

Leyla was laughing breathlessly, trying to untangle herself from Arthur's grip.  
She could feel the vibration of his chuckle against her back, and when she turned to face him, she faltered.  
Her lips parted slightly, some strands of hair had loosened, and her cheeks had reddened from the physical exertion.  
He was looking deeply into her eyes, one of his hands still holding her arm. His gaze wandered across her face, drifting lower.

"Uncle Arthur, the fish!" Jack suddenly exclaimed, and broke the spell.  
Leyla's eyes widened, and she stood up rapidly, Arthur followed her muttering under his breath. They both turned to the shore and saw a huge fish winding to get back to the water.  
Arthur hurried to prevent it from fleeing, lifting it up with a groan. "You Sir, are a fish!" he said appreciative, examining the catch in his arms.  
"What is it?" Leyla asked as she stepped closer to take a look.  
"A chain pickerel, I think" Arthur mumbled, grinning at her. "A very nice catch Miss Coleman."  
She rolled her eyes, but smiled back. "It's Leyla. And I wouldn't have managed to catch it without your help in the first place."  
He shrugged, packing up the fish in some cloth. "You did a real good job for your first time. Pearson's gonna be mighty pleased about this."  
They went back to Jack who was sitting on the ground with some flowers in his hand.

"Hey, look at this!" he called, holding them up.  
"At what?" Arthur asked, walking over to him.  
"This necklace I made." The boy fondly looked at his craft.  
"Necklace?" Arthur bent down to him.  
"For momma!"  
"Sure..."

Suddenly, a sneering voice caught up from behind: "What a fine young man... in such complex circumstances."  
They turned around and saw two fancy dressed men with bowlers on their heads approaching them.


	8. Pinkerton National Detective Agency

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> I have to say it: I really do have to write this for my own sanity. I guess I’ll just quit my job, eat instant noodles for the rest of my life and write this instead!  
> Okay, I’m out, byeeeee :D

"Arthur, isn’t it? Arthur Morgan?" One of the men approached them, while the other dismounted his horse, a rifle in his hand.  
"Get behind me, Jack," Leyla whispered to the boy who was looking anxious at the two invaders.  
"Who are you?" Arthur asked, lifting up his chin and stepping forward.

"Yes, Arthur Morgan... Van der Linde’s most trusted associate," the man sneered.  
Although his clothes were elegant, his face was haggard, the skin deformed by scars and red blotches.  
She could spot a badge pinned on his coat, maybe he was a sheriff?

He gave his companion a disparaging look and continued: "You’ve read the files, typical case... orphaned street kid seduced by that maniac’s silver tongue and matures into a degenerated murderer."  
" _Watch your mouth_!" Leyla hissed, clenching her jaw and narrowing her gaze at this impertinent introduction.  
Arthur slightly turned his head in her direction, but didn’t look at her.

The stranger fixed his eyes on her now, sizing her up. "Ma’am... Agent Milton."  
He pointed to the other man. "Agent Ross. Pinkerton Detective Agency, seconded to the United Stated Government. Nice to finally meet."  
She shuddered - the _Pinkertons_... How could she forget? Cornwall had sent the Pinkertons to hunt the gang throughout the country. Not only were they wanted because of Blackwater, but also because they had robbed the most powerful oil baron of the Midwestern United States.

"We know a lot about you," Milton turned back to Arthur, his thumbs hooked up on his belt.  
"Do you?" he asked. As they stepped closer, Arthur drew himself up to his full height, protecting Leyla and Jack.  
"You’re a wanted man, Mister Morgan. There's five thousand dollars for your head alone."  
"Five thousand dollars? For _me_?" Arthur drawed each word in feigned surprise. "Can I turn myself in?"  
"We want Van der Linde." Milton watched him carefully.  
"Old Dutch? I haven’t seen him for months."

The agent took off his hat, wiping the sweat from his forehead. "That so? Because I heard a guy fitting his description robbed a train belonging to Leviticus Cornwall up near Granite Pass."  
Arthur shrugged, acting all nonchalant. "Oh, ain’t that a little... old-fashioned nowadays?"  
"Apparently not. Listen," Milton said, raising his hands in appeasement and coming closer, "this is my offer, Mister Morgan. Bring in Van der Linde and you have my word, you won’t swing."  
Leyla felt the sweat running down to her neck - these guys were corrupt and ready to do anything to achieve their aims, they didn’t tolerate being trifled with.  
"Oh, I ain’t gonna swing anyways, Agent Milton" Arthur hissed. "You see, I didn’t do anything wrong aside from not playing the game to your rules."

Milton rolled his eyes, waving his words aside. "Spare me the philosophy lessons, I’ve already heard it from Mac Callander."  
Arthur’s shoulders stiffened at the familiar name, and he stepped nervously from one foot to the next. This must have been one of the missing members they lost at Blackwater.  
"Mac Callender?"  
"He was pretty shot up by the time I got to him" Milton said in regretful tone and a rueful smile. "So really it was more of a mercy killing. Slow, but merciful."  
Arthur dropped his gaze, and Leyla was hoping that Jack didn’t understand what the man just said.

Suddenly, Arthur quickly pulled his gun from his holster, he was just so fast that she almost thought he would shoot.  
She flinched at the sight, catching her breath and pushing Jack out of the firing line. Milton’s partner would have been way too slow when he was aiming his rifle, but Arthur drew back as quick as before.  
"You enjoy being a rich man’s toy, do you?" His voice was booming, but Milton didn’t move back.  
"I enjoy society, flaws and all. You people venerate savagery and you will die - savagely! All of you!" He pointed at Arthur, the other man still holding his rifle.  
"Oh, we’re all gonna die, Agent."  
"Some of us sooner than others. Good day, Mister Morgan." He turned around and went back to his horse. Agent Ross slowly moved back, a threatening expression on his face.  
He was looking back to Leyla, and spotted Jack who was peeping from behind her. "Enjoy your fishing, kid... while you still can" he said with an evil laugh.

Leyla laid a calming hand on his shoulders and said: "Don’t mind him, Jack."  
"Who are they?" he asked, looking up to Arthur.  
"No one to worry about, no one at all. Come on, let’s pick up your things and get home." Arthur avoided to look up to Leyla, and she frowned.  
Jack stood there, the fragile flowers in his hand a little crinkled, and looked over where the Pinkertons just stood.  
"It’s getting late Jack, your mother will be worried. Let’s head back" she said, nudging him forward.

All the carelessness of the fishing trip was gone, the three went quiet and packed up the fishing supplies and their catch.  
When they rode back to the camp, Leyla heard Jack talking to Arthur. "Why did you lie about where uncle Dutch is?"  
Arthur sighed. "Because... those are disagreeable men and I don’t want them to hurt him."

Leyla felt a lump in her throat when those words reached her. Arthur was loyal through and through, and Dutch meant the world to him. She remembered what Milton said about him: Dutch must have picked him up when he was a child and raised him like his own son. She knew what it meant to be alone in this world, without parents to comfort you, to protect you. And she felt the same for her uncle Charles when he put her up, she would have done anything for him.  
But still, if nothing changed, the gang soon would be hunted down, half of their members dead and the remaining ones on the run. Dutch would betray Arthur - and he would die. Maybe not even from tuberculosis, but from all the perils that lie out there.

"World is full of disagreeable men... that’s why you got all of us. To protect you from folk like them. Now, what about this necklace you made, you still got it right?"  
"Yeah, I got it."  
"Good. So did you like fishing?" Arthur tried to distract the boy.  
"It was... okay, I think. It’s a lot of waiting around." Leyla smiled at Jack’s answer, he was just too polite to say that he didn’t enjoy it.

They rode back into the camp, Abigail was already waiting for them.  
"There you are! How you guys getting on?" she asked, hugging her son and smiling at the gift he brought her.  
"Great! Miss Leyla caught a fish. And I made you this necklace."  
"Ain’t that pretty!" Abigail said.  
"You have a really gifted son, Abigail" Leyla said, gently petting Jack’s head.  
The woman proudly smiled and said: "Ain’t I the luckiest... Did you thank uncle Arthur and Miss Leyla?"  
"No need. We had a good time" Leyla assured her.  
Arthur nodded affirmatively and said: "You did real fine, kid."  
"Thanks" the boy said, walking away to his tent, and the adults stood together alone.

Abigail was looking back and forth between Arthur and Leyla, when a frown appeared on her face.  
"What’s wrong?" she asked.  
"Nothing... just met some folk. I’d better go speak with Dutch" Arthur mumbled. He still refused to look at Leyla and made his way to the gang leader.

"What happened?" Abigail took Leyla’s arm and led her aside.  
Leyla struggled to find the right words, so she said: "There were some guys hearing about the train robbery... I couldn’t hear everything, so I’m not quite sure what they wanted."  
"Okay... well, I guess the men will figure it out. I’ll go see after Jack, then. Thank you for spending some time with him. I know he appreciates it."  
Abigail affectionately touched her arm and went away.

Leyla stood there and watched Arthur and Dutch talking, their voices muffled. She could see anger and concern in their faces, both nervous about what just happened. So she turned away and walked over to the rim of the plateau, passing Mary-Beth and Tilly having dinner at the fireplace.  
"Hey Leyla, how was fishing with Jack and Arthur?" Mary-Beth asked.  
Leyla forced a smile and answered: "Good. We caught a real big fish, guess it’ll do for a few days."  
"Come over and sit with us" Tilly waved at her.  
Leyla shook her head and simply stated: "Later, I just... don’t mind me, I just need to be alone for a second."  
The girls frowned but didn’t insist, so she left the voices of the camp behind and watched the evening light setting in the sky.

Sitting down in the wet grass she wondered what all this would lead to.  
She had no idea what she was supposed to do here.  
Why was she of all people able to travel back in time, in this messed up situation? It was foolish of her to think she could save Arthur from getting ill and solving all of his problems by doing so. This world she was now living in was dangerous, there was no point in denying that.  
But what about all those other people? What about the girls, what about Jack, what about his parents? They were all doomed by the mistakes they made, and they would die if Leyla wasn’t able to protect them.

Suddenly, she heard footsteps from behind, and with a soft thump Arthur sat down next to her. He didn’t say anything at first, just sat there, one leg stretched out in front of him. He pulled out a cigarette and held the pack out to her.  
She took one although she usually didn’t smoke, but she was in the mood somehow. Arthur lit a match on his boot and lit their cigarettes one after another. Leyla was coughing at first, but she soon got used to it and felt her body relaxing.

She couldn’t tell how long they were sitting next to each other quietly, before Arthur finally spoke: "You shouldn’t have said that."  
Leyla turned her head and looked at him, confused by his words. "What?"  
He pulled on his cigarette and slowly exhaled the smoke. "What you said to that Agent. He was right."  
She blinked, trying to remember what he was talking about. Then she knew - she had been telling Milton to watch his filthy mouth when he was defaming Arthur. Leyla still felt the tension in her body when she was picturing that turn of events in the afternoon.  
"Why do you say that?"  
He sighed and finally turned his head to face her. "Everything he said about me. He’s right. I’m a murderer, and there ain’t no arguing about that."

She gulped, unable to keep her eyes off him. He did kill, and she knew that, he even killed for her sake.  
He took one life for another, leaving a gap to the greatest issue of human existence: was there an excuse for taking another man’s life?  
Deep inside her, Leyla could only find one single reason - it was _love_.  
Arthur killed to protect what he loved, but he wasn’t proud of being forced to do so. Facing another person as an enemy, it was probably easier to see his blood seeping into the soil.  
But what if that person was a father, too? Or a son? Or a lover on his way to his beloved mistress?  
Arthur was aware that what he did wasn’t right, but it was everything he knew. It was the loyalty and the freedom that kept him sane, but for how long?

Without thinking Leyla stretched out her hand and placed it upon his, gently rubbing her thumbs over his knuckles. He blinked, his eyes flickering between her hand and his.  
"I know. But you do it for the right reasons. However, I wish you wouldn’t have to."  
His eyes were burning holes in hers, and she dropped her gaze for she couldn’t stand his look.  
After a while he said: "I don’t even know why I’m makin’ myself a fool like that, I just..." He snorted. "Ya know, I just have that funny feeling, like I met you before or somethin’."  
Leyla couldn’t help but smile at this unexpected confession. "Like...a _déjà vu_?"  
He wrinkled his nose, and she covered her mouth with her hand to hide her laughter at the sight. "Yeah, whatever those french guys may call it."

He groaned and lifted himself up, holding out his hand to help her. She shook her head looking up to him. "Thanks, but I’ll just stay here for another while."  
He nodded, holding her gaze for a moment. "Good night then."  
She smiled. "Good night."

As she watched him walking away, Leyla took a decision.  
She would do whatever it takes to save the inglorious Van der Linde Gang - all she needed was a _plan_.


	9. The Plan

Working at the camp became a daily routine for Leyla, and although the other girls were complaining about Mrs. Grimshaw treating them like slaves, she soon became used to it.  
Living on a ranch as she did with her uncle also meant to get up early and getting her hands dirty, so it wasn't complete new to her.  
Of course, doing the laundry and cleaning up after the male members of the gang wasn't fun, but it was a compulsory chore.

Especially Sadie Adler made it very clear that she wasn't eager to play the housemaid for Mister Pearson, and they were constantly fighting.  
Apart from that, Sadie decided to be for herself whenever she could, still mourning the loss of her beloved husband.  
Therefore, Leyla kept her distance, she didn't want to irritate her even more, and she knew that some wounds just needed time and peace to heal.

The others were quite busy, too: Arthur went hunting with Hosea, and Dutch sent Micah and Lenny to go out scouting near Strawberry.  
However, the division of labor in the camp was quite mirroring the perception of gender at that time, even if the women in fact did stand their ground.  
They were everything but good wives sitting at home and keeping the house - they were members of an outlaw gang, they knew how to shoot, and they knew how to steal.  
Still, Leyla would have preferred to go hunting or scouting with the men once in a while, but she needed time to think about what to do next, and the monotonous work helped her to focus.  
  
She was just chopping some wood when she thought about how she could save the gang from their sinister fate.  
Leyla tried to remember what she knew from Arthur's journal so far: they somehow messed up the ferry job in Blackwater and had to leave their money there to flee to a hideout in the Grizzlies, camp Colter if she recalled it correctly.  
Exploring their surroundings they came across the Adler's farmstead that was raided by some O'Driscolls who had killed Sadie's husband and held her captured.  
Her thoughts circled around this fateful event, for she assumed that one of those O'Driscoll guys must have told them about the planned robbery on the Cornwall train. She doubted that it was Kieran, this poor guy didn't seem to know anything except from the places he saw during his time with the gang. Besides, he would have been of no use after giving that information to Dutch and his boys, and they could've just killed him instead. After that they attacked the O'Driscoll camp, probably to kill the leader Colm and to find out more about the train. And that was pretty much where the real trouble started - their prospects weren't that rosy before because of Blackwater, but now they were disastrous. Like a domino game this decision would entail a slew of problems that only lead to more difficulties, not to mention Arthur's disease or that filthy rat Micah.

She groaned, throwing the ax aside and sat down on the chopping block, massaging her temples.

"Why don't you take a break, Miss Coleman?" she heard a familiar purring voice say.  
Looking to her right she saw Dutch approaching, sophisticated as ever.  
He was all dressed in black, the white sleeve cuffs and golden buttons of his vest a striking contrast to his dark figure.  
Planted on his hips was a gun belt that held his conspicuous revolvers, and on the brim of his black hat was a bullet hole.  
A sensible aura of danger and excitement was surrounding him, and she could easily understand why it was so easy for him to persuade others.  
"Good day to you, Mister Van der Linde" she said politely, nodding at him.  
His mustache curved into a smile, and he held out his ringed hand to her.  
"Please, call me Dutch, everybody here does so."  
She took his hand and rose from her seating, surprised by his intimacy. "Why, thank you, please call me Leyla then."  
"Leyla... a beautiful name for a beautiful woman."  
His smile increased, and he bent down to place a soft kiss on the back of her hand.  
She blushed, but he was all casual about it and said: "Why don't we take a walk to distract you a little from your work, shall we?"  
He let go off her hand, but she still could feel the light brush of his lips on her skin, wondering if he was that frank with everyone here.

During the last few days she hadn't seen him much, although he was in camp all the time.  
While most of the other men were riding out to hunt or get supplies, he sat in his tent reading, occasionally talking to the others to make sure they were okay.  
He was managing to make everybody feel special and esteemed, he even asked about her health and if she was feeling alright with being a part of the "family" as he used to say, but he didn't start any conversation apart from that.

Leyla turned her head to look out for Molly, but she couldn't be seen anywhere.  
Molly didn't do anything at camp at all, she was sitting next to Dutch most of the time, just watching him reading.  
It was a little creepy how she seemed to be obsessed with his mere existence, worshiping him like a prophet.  
If she wasn't busy with hanging on his words, she constantly checked her appearance in her small hand mirror, adjusting her hair or complaining about a blemish that no one but her could spot.

They slowly walked away from camp when Dutch resumed their conversation.  
"So how do you do, Leyla?" he asked, turning his head to her.  
"I'm fine, thanks. I was very lucky that Arthur was in the right time at the right place" she answered, hardly believing her luck.  
Dutch drew a low chuckle: "Yeah, that's my boy. And we are just as lucky that he found you. As far as I can tell you are indeed an enrichment to the gang."  
She shrugged and said: "Well, I'm thankful that you put me up and I want to earn my keep here."  
He slowly nodded, not leaving her eyes.  
"And I appreciate that, Leyla. We really need people in our midst that are loyal and trustworthy after what happened..."  
Walking over to a group of large rocks, he set up his right leg and bent down, his arm resting on his knee as he was contemplating the view.

Leyla watched his handsome features against the clear sky, then she stepped closer to him and said: "You all seem to be going through a hard time now."  
"We allowed ourselves to get a step behind in Blackwater. That won't happen again. They can pummel us as hard as they like, but we will always get back up and fight. That's who we are: outlaws for life."  
His words were full of pride and confidence, but she could see his jaw clench and his lips purse as he spoke, his gaze still searching the horizon.  
She knew it from Arthur's journal, but also could tell from Dutch's behavior that he was unsettled about what happened.  
He assumed responsibility for the failure, maybe he regretted what he had done, and she supposed that he feared to be neglected by his fellows.  
That was probably the reason he would turn his back on Arthur, for he was daring to doubt his decisions.  
"You have the back of everyone here, Dutch. Everybody here owes you a lot, and they know."  
He turned his head in hear direction, slightly squinting his eyes and pointing his finger to his chest: "I kept us together, kept us alive, kept the nooses off our neck."  
His usually deep voice overturned.  
"That's what good leaders are ought to do" she simply stated.  
His expression softened at the words and he nodded.  
"We will live. We make a bit of money here, then we move again, be west of Uncle Sam, and in a few months buy some land."  
He seemed to be talking more to himself than to her, a hooded look overcoming his face.  
She suddenly felt sorry for him - deep inside him he just wanted to make everything right, but his fear and his doubts would consume him.  
Leyla gently placed a hand on his arm, and he looked up, searching her face.  
  
"Everything's gonna be alright" she reassured him, it was a promise that she was giving all of them.  
Dutch blinked and his mouth opened, but he didn't know what to say.  
From afar, they could hear Molly calling his name.  
He straightened up, clearing his throat as he did so and took her hand in his once more.  
"It was my pleasure to talk to you, Leyla" he said quietly and went away.

 _Whatever that means_ , she thought and turned to sit down on one of the rocks.  
She took a deep breath and closed her eyes, trying to concentrate.  
One thing was absolutely clear: she had to travel back in time once more to prevent the gang robbing the train of Leviticus Cornwall.  
It would be useless to try and keep them from robbing that ferry in Blackwater, for she didn't know when or where exactly they had planned on that.  
Besides, none of them would recognize her, because they never actually had seen her before.  
She had to become a member of the gang first, just like she did now, and earn their trust to help them.  
If she was right and one of those O'Driscoll guys revealed the tip, she had to keep him silent - she shuddered at the thought.

If she managed to prevent the train robbery, the gang still had to make money somehow.  
As she knew from Arthur's journal, he did jobs to help some folks who rewarded him for his efforts.  
Trelawney also knew some station clerks that would sell tips for stagecoach robberies.  
It wasn't without danger, but it was better than messing with Cornwall.  
Then there was the more harmless, yet more dishonorable stuff like gambling, money lending and bounty hunting.  
Leyla hoped that it was enough to survive and keep their heads down for a while.

She was aware that there were a lot of ifs and buts, and there was no guarantee that this plan would work.  
Besides, the Pinkertons were still after them and Colm O'Driscoll wanted their death for sure.  
And then there was Arthur and Mr. Downes.  
How on earth was she able to prevent him from going there?  
  
She sighed, trying to solve the problem that she also needed to get the journal before she could even think about being useful for anybody.  
When the sun began to set, she finally stood up and made her way back to the camp when she saw Arthur coming back from his ride.  
He was walking up towards Dutch's tent, waving a hand at her.  
She greeted back when she saw Dutch coming out to talk to him.  
"Arthur!" he said, shortly turning his head to give Leyla a smile.  
"Dutch... Miss O'Shea" Arthur replied, nodding to Molly who was sitting on the bed as usual.  
"Well, it feels like we are finally getting back on our feet."  
Dutch seemed to be in a bright mood and Leyla wondered if that had something to do with her.  
"Sure... when we heading west?" Arthur hooked his thumbs on his belt, watching Dutch carefully.  
His smile immediately faded, and he looked away.  
"Soon.. I don't know." He took a seat on a wooden chair in front of the tent, lighting a cigar.  
Arthur's face was careworn, he was truly concerned and tried to talk it over with Dutch.  
"Feels like... things have changed. The whole world has changed. That they don't want folk like us no more. We're being hunted."  
"We're smarter than them. Only the feeblest of men take jobs in the government" Dutch answered laconically, and Arthur laughed.  
"I hope so."  
"Trust Dutch, Mister Morgan. Ya have ta" Leyla heard Molly say with her strong irish accent.

Suddenly she heard Lenny scream: "They got Micah! Dutch!"  
He dismounted from his horse and ran over to them, his face covered in sweat and his breath panting.  
Dutch immediately rose from his chair, the others following him, and even Molly stepped out of the tent to see what was going on.  
"They got Micah, he... he's been arrested for murder. He was in Strawberry and..."  
"It's okay, son. Breathe" Dutch calmed him.  
"They nearly lynched me..." Lenny gasped, supporting himself on his knees.  
"Are you hurt?" Leyla asked, patting his back.  
"I'm fine, but... they got Micah in the sheriff's in Strawberry and there's talk of hanging him."  
  
"Here's hoping" Arthur just couldn't spare this comment, and Leyla gave him a thievish smirk.  
"Arthur!" Dutch scolded him, like a father would do with his son, and Leyla bit her lips not to laugh.  
"What? That fool brought this on himself! You know my feelings about him, Dutch."  
Leyla led Lenny over to the wooden table, so he could sit down and recover for a moment.  
"You think I can't see past his bluster to the heart inside? He is a fine man."  
Her heart clutched at the sentiment, and she clenched her hands into fists.  
Oh, how she wanted to scream the truth into his face, revealing the true nature of that bastard, but she mustn't.  
"No, I ain't saving that fool!" Arthur remained stubborn, and she couldn't blame him.  
"I can't go! My face will be all over West Elizabeth. I am _asking_. He would do it for you."  
_And that's why they call you a silver tongued maniac_ , Leyla thought.  
Arthur groaned. "I don't think he would, but... fine, alright..."  
He turned around and Dutch was trying to reach out to him.  
"Arthur..."

"You okay, Lenny?" he said, walking over to the young man, who was still a little shaky.  
"Course I'm okay."  
"You don't seem okay" Arthur looked at him doubtfully, raising an eyebrow.  
Dutch shook his head and went back to his tent.  
"You take that kid into town. Valentine, not Strawberry. Get him drunk."

 _What?!_  
Leyla felt her jaw drop at the unexpected order, and she thought Dutch must have been out of his mind. Why the hell would he do this?

"And Arthur," he turned around and held up a threatening finger: "no crazy business."  
"I've given that up" he answered bitterly.  
"And you get Micah out of that jail."  
Arthur sighed, rubbing his neck with his right hand.  
"Come on, son" he said, and Lenny stood up and followed him to the horses.  
  
"Are you serious?" Leyla couldn't stand it anymore.  
Arthur frowned, and Lenny turned to her in surprise.  
"Don't worry your pretty head about it. We'll be back before you'll notice we're gone" Arthur said and winked at her.  
They mounted their horses and soon were out of sight, Leyla still looking after them.

She knew that these guys were a little crazy, but getting drunk while they were being hunted by the Pinkertons?  
That was a suicide mission.

She stomped over to Dutch's tent, who was sticking his nose into a book.  
"Dutch, excuse me, but..." He lifted his gaze, his expression sourly first, but softening at her sight.  
"Yes, Leyla?"  
She kneaded her hands, unsure how to tell him.  
"You think it's wise to send those guys to town while the Pinkertons are still out there?"  
He quirked an eyebrow, sizing her up.  
"Arthur knows what he's doing, they'll be fine."  
Leyla frowned. "But what if not?"  
Dutch sighed and pinched the bridge of his nose.  
"See, if they're not back tonight you can go see after them, what about that?"  
She nodded. "Okay. Good night then Dutch, Molly"  
Molly just briefly glanced at her and Dutch mumbled "Good night" before she went out.  
  
Leyla walked back to her tent, looking back over her shoulder to the camp entrance, trying to calm herself down.  
How much trouble could two drunk boys cause in a saloon?


	10. Lenny?!

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> This was so much fun to write, I hope you enjoy it even half as much as I did! :D  
> I also did a little editing on the other chapters, guess I'll update soon.

Of course they didn't come back.

Leyla was pacing back and forth like a caged cougar, getting more and more worried with every hour that passed.  
How could they be so reckless and put their selves in danger? It was neither the right time, nor the right place to enjoy a night on the town, and they really should know better. Maybe Dutch wanted to treat Arthur special after he asked him to get Micah out of jail, and since Arthur wouldn't make a fuss that wasn't too implausible.  
Still, she was unable to relax, imagining all the horrible things that could happen.

The camp was getting quieter as the others prepared for the night and laid down to sleep.  
"Honey, ya really shatter my nerves," Karen complained when Leyla was getting up for probably the fifth time just to stare at the camp entrance.  
"For all that's good and holy, go! You'll see that these fools just got themselves drunk, but if it helps for your peace of mind you better go and get them back or I'll do it myself."  
Leyla sighed. "I know, I know... I'm just... concerned, that's all. You haven't seen those Pinkerton guys, they won't play around."  
Karen rolled her eyes and pulled the covers over her head, turning her back to Leyla. Mary-Beth was lying next to her and was already asleep.  
  
"Alright... I'll go then," Leyla mumbled, walking over to the abandoned Kentucky Saddler and mounted the horse.  
She grabbed one of the oil lamps that were placed between the tents and hoped that the poor light would be sufficient to find her way.  
When she slowly exited the camp, she saw Tilly standing with a rifle on her guard duty, nodding in her direction.  
"I'll just check if the boys are okay, I hope I won't be gone for too long" she said, leading the horse through the dark grove.  
"Okay, take care" Tilly answered and waved her goodbye.

She soon found herself on the road that lead down to the river, knowing from her few rides that she was supposed to use the other direction. When she came to a crossroad, she saw a signpost and followed the road running parallel to the tracks.  
Fortunately, the sky was clear and the moonlight illuminated her route. The distant gloom of windows cut through the night, and she felt relieved that she had found Valentine at least.  
Slowing her horse to a trot, she suddenly made out two riders approaching her, their silhouettes hardly visible in the dark. She squinted her eyes to focus, but it couldn't be Arthur and Lenny.  
They came closer and with freezing terror she realized that it was no other than Agent Milton and Agent Ross.  
Leyla tightened her grip around the rein, but she knew it was too late to flee. She wasn't even armed because she didn't own a gun or a knife, so she halted her horse and prepared for the encounter.  
  
"Good evening, Ma'am" Milton said, eyeing her with interest. Ross kept his distance, watching them curiously. "Don't I know you?"  
She gulped, it was useless to lie, so she answered: "Good evening Agent Milton, Agent Ross."  
His lips curved into a smug grin, and he stared at her openly, his eyes wandering over her body.  
"Ah I remember, you were the lady who was with that criminal Morgan," he stated, watching her reaction.  
She felt her jaw clench but suppressed the urge to spit at him.  
"He's an _outlaw_ , not a criminal, Sir" she hissed, holding his gaze.  
Milton snorted, his smile fading. "The difference is quite marginal. I wonder why a fine young lady like you is dealing with this scum in the first place."  
He closed the distance between them and led his horse right next to her. Leyla remained silent, feeling unable to move.  
"Or was it the charisma of Van der Linde that made you stay ?" His words were like poison, etching and toxic, and she could feel the tension in the air just like a thunderstorm.  
"Anyway, see where that will get you. But in case you find your mind again," he held out his hand, holding a small piece of paper.  
"Just let me know. Good night" He dropped it in her lap and spurred his horse, Ross following him quickly and darting a hateful glance at her.

She breathed rapidly, her heart beating out of her chest. That was damn close, but those guys didn't seem to be looking for trouble. With a trembling hand she picked up the note and recognized a business card.  
It said 'Pinkerton National Detective Agency' in bold letters, encircling the drawing of an eye. In smaller font the slogan 'We never sleep' was printed below, and Leyla shuddered. On the back was the address of a post office box.  
Apparently they had the strict order to catch Dutch as the head of the gang, and weren't too much interested in the others. She groaned, almost dropping the card, when she paused for a moment.  
Shaking her head she stowed it in her dress, maybe it could be useful later.  
  
Eventually she entered Valentine, and the strong smell of dung and hay filled the air. It was a cattle town with only a few small farmer's houses surrounded by barns and stables.  
She passed a post office and followed the muddy street to a small promenade, where she soon could hear music and raucous bawling. She dismounted and tied her horse in front of the discarded saloon, where already a few drunks were sleeping off on the porch. "Why am I even doing this" she mumbled and took a deep breath, before she entered through the swinging door.  
  
Although it was chilly outside, the air was thick and hazy, and the floor under her shoes was sticky with beer. Some guests glanced at her suspiciously, but most were too drunk or too distracted to notice.  
To her left a piano entertainer was playing an amusing melody, to her right a few men were sitting on a poker table. She carefully looked around to spot Arthur and Lenny in the crowd, but they were nowhere to be seen.  
She made her way to the bar and spoke to one of the men sitting in front of their drinks.

"Excuse me Sir, but have you seen a young man by the name of Lenny?" she asked a big grumpy feller who was frowning at her sight.  
"The hell is it witchu folks?" he slurred.  
"Excuse me?" Leyla asked confused. Obviously that guy was way too hammered to get his thoughts right.  
"Why's everyone askin' bout that Lenny? I don't know Lenny, you hear me?" He slammed his hand on the bar, his voice bellowing.  
"Okay, okay, I won't bother you, Mister" she quickly stammered, hurrying to get out of the way.  
That turned out more complicated than she thought. She went over to the staircase, where some "easy girls" were fanning themselves languidly. She nodded in their direction and sneaked past them to the gallery.

Just when she took the last step and turned over, Arthur bumped into her.  
He was staggering violently and almost fell, but she grasped his collar and pulled him back. He was looking a little disarranged, his sleeves were rolled up and his shirt hung out of his pants. Somehow he must have lost his hat, and his hair was all messy.  
Trying to focus his vision, his eyes were flickering between hers, and he blinked at her sight.  
"Lenneh?" he asked, his articulation thick and blurred.  
"No, Arthur, it's me - Leyla" she said, supporting him with her hands.

His expression lightened up, he lifted his hands and planted them on her shoulders, a stupid smile on his face.  
"Lenneh!" he barked, clumsily hugging her, and she could smell the alcohol and the sweat on him. "I been lookin' all over for ya, Lenny!"  
Leyla groaned, still trying to support Arthur and prevent him from falling over her.  
"How many did you had, Arthur?" she scolded, pushing him back far enough to look at him.  
He made a face and pursed his lips before he shut his eyes close for a moment. When he slowly opened them again, she could see that he was finally recognizing her - or at least, he realized that she definitely wasn't Lenny.

He clumsily lifted his hand and touched her cheek, frowning deeply. "Whatchu doin' here darlin' ?" he asked, hiccuping as he did so.  
She sighed, shaking her head in disbelief. _This man is driving me crazy,_ she thought.  
"I came to look for you drunken fools to stay out of trouble" she said, trying to ignore that her skin was burning where he touched her.  
"Who?" he asked with all the sincerity and unselfconsciousness only drunkards and children were capable of.  
"Why, you and Lenny of course!" His eyes widened at her sudden exclamation.  
"Lennyyy!" he cried, nervously looking around.  
He let go off her, leaning over the railing to take a look at the bar, and she feared he would tip over. "Lenny, where you at?"  
"Arthur wait-" Leyla grabbed his shoulders turning him around. "Arthur, look at me."  
He didn't listen and kept on blaring for his friend, the other guests already giving them annoyed looks.

She cupped his face with both hands and forced him to look at her. "I said. Look. At. Me."  
He gulped, his eyes searching her gaze, and for a second she thought about kissing him. He was drunk, totally out of his mind and smelled like everything but a bunch of roses, and still he was the most attractive man Leyla ever met.  
She took a deep breath, trying to focus on something different than his lips. "Listen, we'll find Lenny, but you need to get yourself together now, okay?"  
He nodded, but she wasn't sure he entirely understood what she just said. "Okay."  
"Alright, now keep it cool, we'll start looking for him on this floor. Come on" she said and took his hand, guiding him away from the stairs.

"There you are, Lenny!" he said when they came across one of the ladies looking around for some company.  
"Do I look like a Lenny to you?" she hissed, and Leyla hurried to apologize to her, quickly moving on.  
Arthur called to almost everyone they passed, no matter if women or men. Some were visibly amused by his appearance, while others looked at him in disgust. Leyla wasn't actually ashamed for him for she was too busy to find the boy. They searched the gallery for him, but he was nowhere to be found.

Making their way back down the stairs, she was starting to get really worried about him, when Lenny suddenly appeared right in front of them. He was evidently just as drunk as Arthur, tottering over to them and chuckling.  
"Arthur, Arthur, what are you doing?" he said, shaking his head and poking his arm.  
"Lenny, you bastard!" Arthur said and without any prior warning slapped him in the face.  
Before she could do anything, Lenny turned around smacking him back. They giggled like silly schoolboys and continued to hit the other. Leyla growled with frustration, lowering her face to her hand and closing her eyes.

_Oh Lord, why?_

The men at the bar turned around watching the scene and started to encourage them, waiting for a real fist fight.  
"Hey, I don't want no trouble here!" the bartender shouted, and Leyla quickly brought herself between the two, grabbing them by their arms and drawing them out of the saloon.  
Complaining about the sudden interruption they stared at her in confusion wondering what was going on. The bartender followed them outside, throwing Arthur's hat on the floor and shot a warning glance in their direction.  
"Stay out or I'll get the sheriff" he said, wagging his finger in a threatening manner.  
Arthur snorted, trying to move forward, but Leyla held him back. "You'll never take me alive!"  
His passionate cry was muffled by Lenny, who was throwing up in the mud behind them, and he turned around.  
"It's okay Sir, I got this" Leyla reassured the bartender, and he left them alone on the front porch.

"Are you okay Lenny?" Leyla asked, walking over to the young man who held his stomach and coughed.  
He nodded, wiping his mouth with his sleeve and looked at her curiously.  
"How come you're here Miss Leyla?" he asked and straightened up, struggling to find his balance.  
"Well, at least somebody has to take care of you boys" she answered, planting her hands on her hips.  
Meanwhile Arthur had managed to put his hat back on and walked over to them.  
"So, you're done causing trouble here or is anyone in for another round?" she asked, raising an eyebrow.  
Lenny moaned and shook his head, and Arthur giggled at him. "Some guys just can't hold their liquor" he teased, patting him on the back.  
"Alright, I suppose you are not able to ride, so let's get you a hotel room before you get any more funny ideas" Leyla said, stepping between them and gently nudging them forward.

The men put their arms on her shoulder and began to roar a slippery song about a girl drinking wine in Valentine, laughing about themselves and messing up the lyrics.  
Leyla shook her head, but she couldn't fight a smile on her face - at least they were safe now.  
A feet away from the saloon was a small hotel they went to. It wasn't the most decent place, and she could hear strange sounds coming from one of the rooms above, but she decided not to think too much about it. Although it was long after midnight, she saw that the reception desk was still occupied.  
The hotel owner was looking warily at the party, rearranging his glasses as they stepped closer.

"Good evening Mister, we need three rooms for tonight, please" Leyla said, trying to make a good impression.  
The man shook his head and answered: "I'm sorry Ma'am, but I only got two rooms vacant."  
She sighed, looking down at the desk. She was tired and would have prefered not to ride back to the camp, but she had to deal with it.  
"Alright, it's two then" she said, receiving a doubtful look from the clerk, but he turned to get the keys anyway.  
"Arthur, would you hand me your satchel, please?" she asked, and he willingly gave it to her.  
She rummaged in the bag and finally found a money clip that she took out to pay for the rooms.  
"It's upstairs, first room on the left and second on the right. Enjoy your stay" the owner said, his eyes wandering from one to the other.

"Okay, let's get you into bed now" she said thoughtless, and the men snickered at her words.  
She rolled her eyes, taking the stairs up to the first floor and unlocked the first room for Lenny, for she doubted that he would manage it on his own.  
She gave him the keys and bid him goodnight, he smiled and thanked her.  
Before he went in, he turned around and said: "You... you're a good friend to me, Arthur."  
Arthur waved it aside and muttered: "Shut up." Lenny chuckled and closed the door behind him.

"Come on, cowboy, your room is over there" Leyla said and lead Arthur through the small corridor.  
After unlocking the door she stepped aside, and he immediately fell over to the bed, his hat tumbling on the floor again. She grinned and bent down to pick it up and place it on the drawer.  
"Ya know, I don't need no nanny to look after me, no matter what Dutch said" Arthur grumbled behind her.  
She turned around, carefully looking at him. He had turned to lay on his back, glaring at her. His high-spirited mood had just faded and he seemed huffy now, still speaking with a slur.  
"I know. Besides, Dutch didn't send me, I was asking him because I was worried."  
He frowned and searched her face, but she withstood his gaze. "Why?"  
"Because" she said slowly, "those Pinkerton guys are after you. You are a _wanted_ man Mister Morgan, and you would do good keeping your head down instead of putting yourself in danger."  
Their eyes locked for what seemed an eternity, until Arthur eventually blinked in confusion.  
"Ya came to keep me safe?" he asked, raising an eyebrow at her.  
She swallowed, her mouth suddenly feeling dry. "Well... I thought it wouldn't do any harm if I kept an eye on you and Lenny" she evaded the question and turned around to leave his room.

"Leyla."  
Suddenly, he reached out for her hand and she looked back at him in surprise. Arthur swallowed, hesitating to speak, but he didn't let go.  
"Stay" was all he said, his face still frowning as if he was expecting her to refuse.  
She just nodded and took a seat on a chair that was placed next to the bed, never leaving his touch.  
"Sleep now. I won't be going anywhere" she said, gently rubbing her thumb over the back of his hand.

Arthur let out a deep sigh and closed his eyes, resting his head on the pillow. He was still completely dressed and had his boots on, but he didn't seem to care at all.  
Having the chance to look at him so peaceable, she studied his features and affectionately noticed the little imperfections that made him special. She could spot two little scars on his chin, almost covered by his beard. And his nose was not quite straight for there was a little crook on the base. Leyla smiled when she heard his soft snoring. Soon he let go off her hand and turned to his side in his sleep, unaware of her being still there.

When she moved in her chair she recognized, that she still had his satchel resting on her lap, and she took it off to put it away.  
Suddenly Leyla halted, a thought flashing through her mind. She opened the bag again and soon found his journal, feeling that odd tingling sensation again. This was her chance to travel back to Colter, and she felt her pulse rising.  
But she stopped before opening it, restraining herself to think carefully about what she was going to do.

Since the camp lay high up in the mountains and the gang had been surprised by a blizzard and therefore low in supplies, it would probably be a good idea to prepare herself for the journey.  
She wasn't actually sure how this whole time-travelling thing worked, but since she was able to keep her jeans and shirt on the last two times, she supposed that it would also work if she wore something different.  
All the clothes she owned now were the ones Karen gave to her, and they hardly kept her warm in the local weather.  
When she headed for the saloon earlier, she recognized a general store next to the building.  
It should provide at least a small selection of clothes she thought, and maybe also some weapons.  
Since Arthur and Lenny surely wouldn't be up before midday, she could easily spend the night in the hotel before doing a little shopping in the morning.  
Taking a closer look to Arthur's satchel again, she soon found the money clip that she used before and counted the dollar bills in it.  
Arthur apparently was successfull in whatever he did to provide money for himself and for the camp, so the amount was sufficient for her to afford some supplies.  
_He won't miss it anyways_ , she thought.

Leyla yawned and gave a longing look to the comfy bed where Arthur was laying - it held enough space for them both for sure, but she mustn't sleep.  
It was too risky if Arthur woke up before she did, so she turned her attention back to the journal in front of her.  
She was wondering if she was able to read it without immediately traveling back to the point that was described.  
Since she had been reading the whole journal before, she thought that she had to somehow concentrate to it in a special way.  
It was like letting go of the here and now, there were no words to express the feeling that had overcome her the last time.  
Holding her breath she decided to give it a try, and opened the strap that held it closed.  
The familiar script and drawings appeared and she quickly skimmed the text she already knew.  
She soon found the passage where Arthur had rescued her:

_Picked up a woman by the name of Leyla Coleman. One of those Lemoyne Raiders was trying to abduct her and I saved her. Dutch welcomed her with open arms so I guess I did good.  
Seems pretty difficult these days to make him happy. He's still all about plans and robbery and dreams. I just hope things will turn out the way he's expecting it._

Turning the pages she suddenly gasped - Arthur had sketched a woman sitting on the ground with a cigarette in her hand, a dreamy look upon her face.  
Was that her?  
Curiously she red the lines on the opposite page.

_Took young Jack fishing as a favor for Abigail. He seems very taken with the new lady, and she's very good with him, too._  
_Jack is a good boy, a dreamer. A boy with a momma that loves him. I wonder if he will find what we seek - peace and truth away from all this nonsense and lies. If that is what we still seek? Not that that's a new development. Not sure I know myself anymore._  
_As we fished a couple of Pinkerton agents appeared, they know all about me. That's a new turn of events. Apparently there's five thousand on my head alone. After Blackwater and that train robbery it seems we may be in real trouble. Dutch don't seem too worried, but I am beginning to have some doubts as to his wisdom in his indifference._  
_Turns out Miss Coleman is more courageous than is good for her, defending me like a lioness. She thinks she knows who I am, but she's wrong. I'm a killer seeking out salvation. Only I'm not. I don't want saving. I don't deserve it._

Leyla took down the journal and looked over to Arthur, sleeping soundly next to her.  
He was so torn apart, angry at himself and just as lost as she was.  
"You deserve to be happy, Arthur" she mumbled, and he sighed in his sleep as if he had listened.  
She would save him, she must.

Looking out the window she noticed the first crack of dawn lighting up the sky, and she sneaked out of the room trying not to make a noise, the satchel in her hand.  
Heading down the stairs she saw that the hotel owner was still on his duty and she greeted him.  
He raised an eyebrow at her, probably thinking she was one of those loose ladies, but she didn't care.  
In front of him was a small sign offering rooms and a bath.  
At camp the girls helped each other with washing their hair, but other than that she could only wash with the water from the river.  
Leyla supposed that chances were low to take a hot bath up in the mountains, so the offer sounded very tempting.  
"Excuse me Sir, I know it's quite early but could you arrange a bath for me?" she asked.  
The man looked up from his books and nodded.  
"Sure, we always have a tub heated up. It's the next door on the left."  
She paid and thanked him, making her way around the desk to the small bathroom.  
Inside was a huge tub with steaming water and a desk with a few essentials.  
She quickly undressed and savored the hot water surrounding her, relaxing her sore muscles.  
After cleaning herself up with some soap she closed her eyes for a moment and finally stepped out, drying herself with a fresh towel.

After Leyla got dressed and left the hotel, she made her way to the general store that luckily was already opened.  
Stepping inside the owner greeted her friendly and gave her a catalogue to view.  
The store apparently wasn't stocked too well and only offered a small variety of women's clothing.  
So she picked some long johns, a woolen dress and a lined coat.  
The vendor eyed her suspiciously, but hurried to bring her everything she wanted so she could try it on.  
The boots she got from camp were a little too big for her, so she also bought some new ones, and since the weather would be quite nasty up there she decided to get some gloves and a hat as well.  
When she finished her outfit in the dressing room, she halted for a moment, staring at her reflection in the mirror.  
Of course she was looking way different, but it wasn't just the clothing. Something about her had changed, but she couldn't name it.  
The woman in the mirror was a different person, an outlaw ready for anything.  
Taking a deep breath she went back to the retail space again, looking for a small gun to take in her belt with her, hoping that it was still there when she would wake up in Colter.  
Leyla paid for her purchase and went out of the store back to the hotel again.

She quietly got back to Arthur's room who was still sleeping as she had left him.  
She placed her other clothes and his satchel on the sideboard, the journal in her hand, and took a seat on the chair again.  
Then she flipped the pages to the chapter she was looking for and began to read, concentrating on the words.

_Hardly the spring I had been looking for. Hosea and I had been planning a robbery of our own in Blackwater, but I guess that's been abandoned along with most of what I owned._  
_I am profoundly concerned as to what happens next, once we leave this place or the law finds us cowering up here._  
_Found that poor woman at some farmstead. Her husband had been murdered by some of Colm O'Driscolls boys, nasty business._

And for the third time Leyla felt the world went away, leaving only darkness.


	11. Colter

Leyla saw her parents and her uncle Charles standing above her.  
Apparently this was a dream, but she could see them clearly looking down on her with a tender smile on their faces.  
"Wake up, darling" her mother said, her glance full of love.  
"Mum? Dad? What are you doing here?" Leyla tried to speak, but she was unable to utter a word.  
"Leyla, you need to open your eyes now." Charles’ expression became careworn, and she couldn’t understand why he was so worried.  
" _Wake up_!"

A flash of light appeared in front of her eyes, she suddenly felt the hard ground on her back, and an overpowering weight was pushing her down. Something was choking her, the burning pain flushed her throat.  
She was fighting for air as if she was drowning. She tried to free herself but she was unable to move, tears blurred her vision and she felt the throbbing of her racing pulse everywhere.  
Was this the end?  
Darkness cocooned her like a velvet curtain, and she was ready to give in. Then she heard an explosion that made her ears ring, the pressure on her throat was immediately gone.

She gasped for air and her lungs were burning like fire when she tried to breath.  
Somebody was lowering in front of her grabbing her shoulders, so she tried to push him away before she heard a familiar voice calming her: "It’s okay, it’s okay, just try to breathe. Easy now, you’re safe, just breathe."  
It was Arthur. Of course it was Arthur.  
Leyla blinked the tears away and coughed violently, and Arthur helped her to sit up.  
As her vision cleared she saw a body covered in blood lying next to her, it must have been the man that had tried to kill her. She looked around and found herself in a barn, she could spot a skittish horse in one of the boxes in the back.

"Arthur, what’s going on there?" she heard Dutch call from the outside.  
"One of those bastards was hidin’ in here, tryin’ to strangle a lady" he shouted, before he turned to look at her with a concerned look.  
"Are you okay Miss?" he asked and she nodded, grimacing when she swallowed hard.  
Leyla met his gaze and their eyes locked for a moment, a frown appearing on Arthur’s face as his eyes drifted lower to her neck.

Only now did she recognize the cold, the ground was icy and although it was dark outside she could see snowflakes swirling and a blanket of snow covering the scene.  
The crunching noise of footsteps became louder, and suddenly Dutch stood in the door of the barn, looking at her in shock.  
"Good Lord, is she alright?" Leyla heard him say, his breath creating dusty clouds in the frosty air.  
"She’ll live" Arthur answered, getting back up to his feet.  
"Did you find anything in that cabin?" he asked Dutch who shook his head.  
"Nothing special, something to eat but hardly enough to feed us all."

Then a memory stroke Leyla and her eyes widened. She tried to speak but only managed to croak out some words, squinting her eyes from the pain. The men turned back and looked at her, unable to understand what she said.  
"She’s tryin’ to tell us something" Arthur said and knelt down at her side, soothingly stroking her back.  
"Easy, easy, don’t push yourself" he crooned.  
"A woman... there’s a woman in the cellar" Leyla said, and before the words fully reached them, they heard a cry back from the house.  
"What the..." Dutch cursed, quickly making his way through the snow.  
"Stay here, I’ll be right back" Arthur told her and went out of the barn.

She heard more screaming and fighting, so she forced herself to get up, supporting her weight on a bale of hay next to her. Her hat and her gun lay on the ground a few feet away, she must have lost them during the fight with the O’Driscoll, and she picked them up. Her gaze flew back to the horse, a Mahogany Bay Tennessee Walker that was still nervously dancing in its box. She slowly approached it, gently patting its neck and whispering to it, since that was working without causing her too much pain. The stallion was scared by the gunshot, but he quickly relaxed and Leyla took his reins to lead him outside.

When she spotted the Adler’s cabin she froze in terror, seeing Micah fighting with Sadie and flames licking on the walls of the wooden house.  
"Micah, you fool!" Dutch roared.  
She hurried over and saw Dutch calming the woman, and soon they left the burning cabin.  
"We need to get out of here, quick!" Dutch called, putting a woolen blanket over Sadie’s shoulders for she was only wearing a nightgown.  
"Are you okay Miss?" Arthur asked her.  
"They came... three days ago... and my husband, they..." her voice cracked and she cried helplessly.

Suddenly Micah was looking over to Leyla, drawing one of his pistols.  
"She’s one of them O’Driscolls!" he gnarled, aiming his weapon at her.  
Arthur pulled his hand down and hissed: "No, she ain’t! One of them tried to kill her!"  
"I was riding around here and heard gunshots, so I decided to check what was going on" she lied, hoping they would believe her story.  
"I saw them threatening the couple and wanted to help, but they captured me and took my horse" Leyla croaked under her breath.  
Sadie didn’t even notice her, she was watching her house burn and stood paralized in the freezing snow.  
"What’s your name, Miss? Miss?" Dutch asked her.  
"Adler... Sadie Adler. Mrs... I... he... he was my husband."  
"You are safe now, but you can’t stay here, you come with us" Dutch said, putting his arm around Sadies’s shoulders and guided her to his horse.

"And what about you, Miss? What’s your name?" Arthur turned to Leyla.  
"Leyla Coleman" she whispered, clearing her throat.  
"You take that horse, Arthur. Looks pretty decent, you should keep him" Dutch said.  
Arthur nodded and said: "Miss, it’s okay, alright? We’re bad men, but... we ain’t them, so... it’s okay. We’ll keep you safe until you figure out what you wanna do."

He helped her to sit on the horse and climbed up in the saddle, following Dutch and Micah throught the snow.  
It was bitterly cold, and although she had tried to prepare herself with the warm clothing her feet and hands soon felt numb.  
The snowfall was heavy so she could hardly see where they were riding.  
Soon she made out some lights in the distance, and eventually they entered Colter.  
Lenny was on his guard duty and shouted: "Hey everybody, Dutch is back!"  
"How’d you get on?" Hosea called to him.  
"Micah found a homestead, but he weren’t the first. Colm O’Driscoll and his scum, they beat us to it."  
He dismounted his horse, the other gang members gathering around them.  
Arthur did so too and lifted Leyla down, the warmth of his body comfortably embracing her for a short moment.  
"But we found some supplies, some blankets, a little bit of food - and this poor souls here. They turned Mrs. Adler into a widow and tried to kill Miss Coleman here. Those animals" he huffed.  
"Miss Tilly, Miss Karen, would you warm them up, give them a drink of something."  
The two girls stepped up and silently nod at them, guiding them to a discarded barn.

Inside it was barely warmer, but at least the wind wasn’t biting and an open fire was crackling in the hearth.  
Leyla noticed Mary-Beth, Abigail and Jack sitting in front of it, covered with blankets and looking curiously at their guest.  
"Alright, let’s get you something to wear first" Karen said and went to a trunk to search for some clothes she eventually handed over to her.  
"Sit down here, Miss" Tilly said to Leyla and pointed to one of the sleeping bags on the ground.  
Leyla nodded and took off her hat, feeling dizzy and exhausted after the fight.  
"What’s your name, Miss?" Jack asked, eyeing her with interest.  
Abigail scolded her son: "Shh, Jack, leave her be."  
When Leyla tried to answer him, her voice cracked again and she coughed.

Behind her the door opened again and Miss Grimshaw entered the room, giving the others a stern look before her eyes found Leyla.  
"What’s wrong with you?" she grumbled, obviously annoyed by her presence as that meant another mouth to feed.  
Leyla remained silent and just opened the collar of her coat, revealing her neck to the others.  
As she expected it they gasped at the sight, because the O’Driscoll must have left some nasty marks when he had tried to choke her.  
Miss Grimshaw pressed her lips to a thin line, turning around to find some food and some liquor she could spare.  
Sadie sat down next to her and they passed a bottle of whiskey between them, the alcohol burning their throats but warming them up a little.  
"Get yourselves to bed now" Miss Grimshaw ordered, and everybody followed and lay down.

Leyla closed her eyes and almost immediately fell asleep, the whiskey easing her pain and making her drowsy.  
A few hours later she woke up, it was still dark and she had to recollect where she was.  
She wondered what had disturbed her slumber, but then she heard it - it was Sadie, and she was crying.  
She was still lying next to her, snuggled between her blankets, and her small shape was shaken by helpless sobs.  
Feeling her chest tighten at the sight, Leyla realized that Sadie would be that one person she couldn’t save, no matter what she did.  
She was doomed to lose her husband, and for the rest of her life she would be haunted by that loss.  
Tears stung her eyes, and without further thinking she turned around and cuddled up to her from behind, lifting her arm around her and pulling her close.  
Sadie stiffened at first, but she eventually relaxed and gave in to the embrace.  
She was even more crying than before, and Leyla soothingly rubbed her thumb over her hand, softly humming a lullaby her mother used to sing to her when she was a child.  
Soon they both drifted back into sleep, giving each other comfort in the cold and stormy night.

The next morning the camp was quiet for the storm didn’t abate, so everybody tried to stay inside and save the warmth and energy they had.  
There was no coffee and no breakfast like in Horseshoe Overlook, because the supplies were low and the men couldn’t go hunting in the bad weather.  
Arthur and Hosea went over to look for the women and made sure that they were okay.  
"Mornin’" Arthur said and knelt down to Leyla who was still sitting on the ground dozing.  
"Mornin’" she answered, her voice still croaked, and she made a face at the sudden pain.  
"It’s okay" he said, but suddenly his eyes flew to her neck seeing the angry red marks, and he clenched his jaw.  
He softly touched them with his right hand, and Leyla flinched. He frowned, his eyes flickering between hers.  
"They will pay for this" he muttered and rose to his feet, turning to Hosea who was talking to the girls.

"Hosea, you got anything from your medicine for Miss Coleman here?" he asked, and the older man looked at her.  
"Let’s see" he said and bent down to examine her.  
He clicked his tongue in disapproval and opened his satchel, searching for a small glass bottle with a green liquid.  
"That’s a hummingbird sage tincture, it’ll help with the irritation" he said and handed her the bottle.  
She nodded and removed the cork to take a sip. It tasted horrible, and she scrunched her face in disgust.  
Hosea chuckled and got up again. "Yeah, it’s not like raspberry syrup, but it helps."  
  
Abigail was restless, standing at the window and staring outside to look for John who hadn’t returned from his scouting trip yet.  
Leyla remembered that he was attacked by wolves and that Arthur was rescuing him.  
Abigail stepped up to Arthur and said: "Arthur, how you doin’?" unable to hide the concern in her face.  
He looked at her suspiciously and answered: "Just fine Abigail... and you?"  
She lowered her gaze. "I need you to..."  
He snorted, shaking his head in disbelief.  
"I’m sorry, I’m sorry to ask!" she pleaded desperately.  
"It’s little John, he’s got himself caught into a scrape again" he mocked.  
"He ain’t been seen in two days!"  
"Your John’ll be fine. I mean, he may be as dumb as rocks and as dull as rusted iron, but that ain’t changing because he got caught in some snowstorm!"  
Arthur was annoyed and already wanted to leave when Hosea intervened: "At least go take a look."  
Arthur sighed, pinching the bridge of his nose with two fingers when Javier entered the barn.  
"Javier, will you ride out with Arthur to take a look for John? You’re the two best fit men we’ve got."  
Javier raised and eyebrow at Arthur who was standing with his arms crossed in front of his chest.  
"She’s... we’re all... now, we’re pretty worried about him" Hosea said.  
"I know if the situation were reversed, he’d look for me" Javier answered, walking over to Arthur.  
He sighed but eventually turned around to leave with Javier.  
"Thank you!" Abigail blurted after them, dropping her tensed shoulders in relief.  
Despite all the fighting and the trouble, she did love John, and Leyla was sure that deep inside John loved her and Jack, too.

A few hours later, it was already getting dark, Leyla heard Arthur calling: "Can we get some help here?" and went outside.  
Abigail ran out of the barn, heading towards John who was sitting on a horse behind Javier. The other gang members quickly followed her, curious about John’s condition.  
"You’re alive! Oh you’re alive!" she cried. Lenny and Bill came over and helped Abigail to support John, who could barely walk.  
"Aye, careful! It’s his leg!" Javier shouted when John was crying in pain.  
He was bleeding heavily from his face, the wolves must have injured him really bad.  
"Thank you, thank you both!" she said, guiding her husband into a cabin.  
"This is a new low, even for your standards" she muttered, and John avoided looking at her.  
Jack was standing aside, kneading his hands as he usually did when he felt lost and uncertain, watching his parents.  
The others went back inside, but Leyla stood at the door for another moment when Hosea walked over to Arthur and Javier.

"Thank you, Arthur. Thank you" Hosea said, patting the men’s back.  
"You got any other lost maidens that need saving?" Arthur asked dryly.  
"Not today" the chuckled, and Javier went back into a cabin to warm himself up.  
Arthur bent down to Hosea and whispered: "Have you and Dutch talked about how we’re gonna get out of this?"  
Hosea looked down, obviously uncomfortable with answering him.  
"When the weather breaks I suppose we’ll have to keep heading east."  
Arthur’s eyes widened.  
"East?" he cried in disbelief. "Into all that... civilization?" he almost whispered the last word.  
"I know, but the west is where our problems are worse. Come on, let’s get warm" Hosea suggested, and they left.

Leyla sat down and took another sip of the evil-tasting tincture, hoping that it would soothe her sore throat, and thought about the situation.  
If she ever thought the mood of the gang was tense in Horseshoe Overlook, then it was disastrous in Colter.  
Everybody was anxious and miserable, wondering if they would ever get out of this icy hell, and mourning the loss of the ones that hadn’t made it to the camp.  
But right now none of the men was talking about the O’Driscoll hideout or the train robbery, so Leyla had a slight hope that Arthur had killed the informant that had been threatening her.  
There wasn’t much to do but waiting and trying to stay alive.

 

The next few days stretched on forever and most of the gang members slept right through it.  
Abigail was busy to treat John’s wounds and care for Jack, and some of the men wasted their time with poker, drinking and smoking. Leyla felt that Hosea’s medicine indeed had an effect on her throat, and when she had emptied the bottle, she was able to speak again without being in pain. Her voice was still a little raspy and quiet, but she was okay with it.

One day she was going outside to stretch her legs a little and get an impression of her surroundings.  
The storm had finally abated and now the snow was falling in large flakes. She slowly made her way through the thick layer of white powder that reached up to her calves, trying to find a spot where she could overlook the camp. The snow muffled every noise around her, and she could only hear the scrunching of her own feet in the stillness of the woods.

She decided not to go too far away and head back for the camp, when she heard something behind her. Leyla turned around and was suddenly pressed to a large tree. The strike took her breath away and she was unable to move.  
In front of her was Micah, pushing his full weight onto her, his face close to hers. She could smell his bad breath, a maniacal look in his eyes that made her nervous.  
"Now, what do we have here? You shouldn’t go on a walk alone, it’s too dangerous you know" he hissed, lowering his gaze to look at her.  
She opened her mouth to scream, but he covered it with his dirty hand, squeezing her cheeks that it hurt.  
"Shh, shh, we don’t want to cause any trouble, do we? The little singing bird lost it’s voice anyways, so nobody’s gonna hear you."  
Leyla tried to kick him and claw his face, but he was too strong and his other hand was digging deep into her arm.  
"Wild thing, ain’t ya?" he said with a dirty laugh, pushing his knee between her thighs.

Out of nowhere two hands appeared on his shoulders grasping his jacket, and pulled him away from her.  
"Filthy little rat" Arthur gnarled, punching Micah hard in the face so he fell on his back and covered his face with his hands.  
Leyla could see blood spraying between his fingers, and he was boiling with rage.  
"You think I’d let you out of my sight after what happened at the homestead?" Arthur bent down and pulled on his collar, threatening him with his fist.  
Micah shot him a hateful glance, his mustache soaked with deep red blood.  
"You touch that woman one more time and I’ll have your head for it." He let go off his jacket and Micah fell back into on the ground.  
He slowly rose to his feet and stared at Leyla, spitting in the snow before he left.  
She was still standing petrified against the tree, her chest heaving and her eyes widened. Arthur made sure that Micah went off, and then he turned around to her.  
"Miss? You’re alright?" he asked with concern in his voice.

How many times had he been asking her this question?  
In the last few weeks Leyla had been locked up, kidnapped, threatened, strangled and now almost raped, and every time it was Arthur who had saved her. But it was too much for her to bear right now, up here in the cold with the weight of her responsibility for the sake of the whole gang on her shoulders, and she just collapsed. She hid her face under her hands and cried, her back slipping down the trunk. Arthur was by her side in an instant and comforted her.  
"I’ll keep you safe now, nobody’s gonna hurt you again" he crooned, embracing her with his strong arms and pressing his lips to the top of her head.  
She leaned against his chest, her tears drying in the fabric of his coat. Leyla just savored the comfort of his closeness and his warmth for a few more minutes, before she pulled back and cleared her throat.  
"Sorry..." she nearly whispered, feeling slightly embarrassed by her emotional outburst.  
He snorted, cupping her face with both hands and searched her eyes. "He’s the one hasslin’ you and you’re sorry?"  
She blinked, shaking her head. "No, I... I mean I’m sorry for... for being so goddamn weak" she answered, unable to hold his gaze.  
"That ain’t nothing about weakness. Come on now, let’s get you inside" he said helping her up, and guided her back to the camp.

 When they arrived at the barn they ran into Dutch, who was wearing a deep frown on his face.  
"Arthur! I saw Micah... what happened?" he asked, looking back and forth between the two of them.  
"You can’t imagine?" Arthur replied, leading Leyla inside.  
"This bastard..." Arthur groaned. "He’s dangerous, Dutch. We can’t trust him. You were there when he laid hands on Mrs. Adler, you’ve seen him."  
Dutch turned his head, clenching his jaw.  
"We have to stick together now, Arthur. We can’t afford to loose more people" he said. "But you can keep an eye on him before he does anything funny."

"Oh, I will" Arthur muttered.


	12. Sadie Adler

_What a mess_ , Leyla thought when she sat down on her sleeping bag and closed her eyes to rest for a moment.  
Making matters worse, Micah had brought his true nature to the surface, and now she had to be careful not to be alone with him.

She opened her eyes again when she felt someone sitting down next to her - it was Sadie.  
She still refused to talk with anybody, and her eyes were reddened from the crying.  
Sadie didn't look at her first, she just sat there staring at the sparse furnishing, but Leyla didn't mind.  
"I heard what Arthur said" she suddenly blurted, and Leyla turned her head in surprise.  
Her voice was quiet, but she could tell from her expression that she had to pull herself together not to freak out.  
"If he and Dutch hadn't..." she broke off and swallowed the upcoming tears.  
"You know, he was a good man, my Jakey. We was always sweet on one another" she said, grabbing fistfuls of her blanket.  
"I'm sure" Leyla replied, stroking her back.  
"I just miss him so much..."

And then she cried.  
Leyla knew that nothing in this world could ease her pain.  
Losing a loved one left deep wounds, and if you're lucky they sleep under your skin, just aching every now and then a memory comes across and reminds you of the good times, or even the bad.  
But if you're not, these wounds dig deeper into your flesh with every day that passes, hollowing you out until you are nothing more than a shadow of your former self.  
If Sadie wasn't able to find a meaning in her life, she would become a revengeful widow seeking for a vendetta.

"You know, if I had any courage, I'd kill myself too" she said sniffling, wiping away the tears with her sleeve.  
Leyla grabbed her shoulders and forced Sadie to look at her.  
"We both know that ain't true. We both know the bravery is in the living" she said.  
"You will suffer and you will grieve, I'm not gonna lie to you. But if you let your sorrow take possession of your heart, it will consume you."  
Sadie frowned, her eyes flickering between hers and Leyla feared that she had said too much.  
"See, I... I don't know you very well, but I can tell you're brave Mrs. Adler, I really can."  
Sadie snorted: "I don't seem very brave."  
"Nonsense... you're about the bravest woman I ever met. And that tells me you got the courage, the courage to live. You're still the woman your husband fell in love with, don't let anybody tell you otherwise."

She sobbed and asked: "But what am I gonna do?"  
"Stay here, if even for a while. It's nasty out there on your own, I had to learn that when I tried to survive. These folks ain't so bad. Well... at least not all of them..." Leyla said, and there was a hint of a smile on Sadie's face.  
"How did you get up here in the first place?" she asked, and Leyla answered with the story she had prepared before she was traveling back to Colter.  
"My parents died many years ago, I was raised by my uncle. He had a ranch in Arizona, but he passed away and I had to leave. I was just wandering around when I... well, when those bastards found me."  
Sadie nodded, and to Leyla's surprise she rested her head on her shoulder.  
Leyla put her arm around her and they just sat there, strengthened by each other's presence.  
They weren't so different at all, Leyla thought and hoped, that maybe there was a tiny chance she could somehow help her to get back on her feet.

The next morning Leyla decided that it was time to get out again.  
Although Micah had interrupted her walk the day before, she felt good being outside the oppressive narrowness of the barn where she had to share the space with too many other people.  
She convinced Sadie to come with her and they enjoyed their walk despite the cold and the snow.

When they came across one of the other cabins they spotted Arthur talking to Mister Pearson, who made a sour face.  
"We're gonna starve to death up here, Mister Morgan" he muttered. "We have a few cans of food for what, ten, twelve people? When I was in the Navy..."  
Arthur groaned, waving his concerns aside. "I don't wish to hear about what you got up to in the Navy, Mister Pearson..."  
Pearson didn't let Arthur put him off and continued: "We were stranded at sea for fifty days!"  
"And you unfortunately survived." Leyla couldn't fight a smirk about his dry humor.  
"When we ran away from Blackwater I wasn't able to get supplies in!"  
"Well, when government agents are hunting you down, sometimes shopping trips need to be cut short. We'll survive, we always have... and if it needs be we can eat you, you're the fattest."  
The girls snorted with laughter, covering their mouths so the men wouldn't hear them.  
"I sent Lenny and Bill hunting and they found nothing" Pearson defended himself.  
"Well, Lenny's more into book learning than hunting and Bill's a fool. Unless those mountains are full of game that wanna read ain't no wonder they found nothing."

Then Charles walked over, finishing the discussion between the two.  
"Enough of this. We'll go find something. Come on, Arthur."  
"You can't go hunting, look at your hand" Arthur argued, and Leyla spotted that his right hand was bandaged.  
"I can't stay here listening to you two. Look, if there's game in those hills I'll find it and you can kill it."  
"You need to rest, Charles..." Arthur tried again, but Charles remained stubborn.  
"You think this is rest?"

"Why don't you take us with you?" Sadie suddenly said, stepping forward.  
The three men turned their heads in surprise, eyeing Sadie and Leyla with suspicion.  
"What, women go hunting? That's ridiculous" Pearson snorted and Sadie gave him a withering look.  
"My husband and I... we shared the work. All of it. I was out in the fields, I can hunt, carry a knife or use a gun. But I'll tell you, you keep me here I'll skin this fat old coot and serve him for dinner!"  
She squinted her eyes at Pearson, and Leyla saw Arthur's shoulder shaking with laughter.  
"Watch your damn mouth you crazy, goddamn fishwife!" Pearson hissed through his gritted teeth.

Sadie cried in rage and tried to approach him, but Leyla took her arm and held her back while Arthur was stepping between them.  
"Enough! Both of ya! So you wanna head out there? Run with the men?" He raised an eyebrow at Leyla, and she lifted her chin.  
"I had to survive on my own long enough, I can help with this" she said.  
Her uncle had taught her how to use a gun, and they even went hunting sometimes.  
She wasn't too enthusiastic about it though, for eating meat and killing an animal are two different things, but she could do it.  
She also knew how to set traps for small game like rabbits or phasants, so this could be useful.  
Arthur looked over to Charles who just shrugged, and he sighed. "So be it. Come along then."  
"Wait a second, hold on" Pearson said, taking out a can from a wooden box on the floor. "Here, you're gonna need something to eat out there."  
He gave it to Arthur who was reading the label out loud: "'Assorted salted offal' ? Starving would be preferable..."

They went over to the hitching posts were Arthur's new Tennessee Walker and Charles' Appaloosa mare were tied.  
Charles took off his bow from the saddle and gave it to Arthur. "Here, you take this. I can't use it and you'll have to."  
"Oh, you're joking..."  
"Use a gun and we'll scare off every animal for miles around. You're never too old to learn, I imagine" the younger man teased and Arthur clenched his jaw.  
"I'm gonna catch some yarn from Miss Grimshaw, we can set traps and check them when we get back" Leyla said and went over to the barn.  
Susan wasn't too enthusiastic about it, but she handed it to her nevertheless.  
When she came back, Sadie was already sitting behind Charles and Arthur held out his hand to help her up.

Making their way up into the mountains, the weather soon cleared up and the sun warmed their dark coats up a bit.  
"So, how's your neck by the way?" Arthur asked her.  
"Better, that nasty medicine Mister Matthews gave to me was really helpful" she said, feeling comfortable to ride with him.  
"Yeah, Hosea's really good with all those herbs. So you've been around here for a while before the O'Driscolls got you?"  
Leyla reiterated the story she already told Sadie and some others, and Arthur listened to her carefully.  
"I'm sorry to hear that Miss Coleman, seems you're getting through a hard time now."  
"It's Leyla. And well, I guess we're all having a hard time, so maybe this gives us the chance to make things better."  
"I hope so... So, you're planning to stay with us, Leyla?" She blushed when he said her name.  
"Well, if Mister Van der Linde lets me, I would be happy to stay."  
"Dutch won't send anyone away, that's not his style. He always tries to see good in everyone, even if there isn't much to find" he said quitely, and she knew who he was talking about.

They kept on riding and stopped here and there to set some traps for the rabbits, but Arthur didn't seem to be convinced.  
"It's pretty easy, you just tie the yarn to a sling and place it on a small branch near the ground. The rabbits won't be able to see it against the snow, and when their heads get trapped they try to run away and strangle themselves" Leyla explained to him.  
"We'll see if that works" he said and helped her back up to the horse.

Soon they reached a small river that wasn't fully frozen, and Charles slowed down his horse.  
"Hey, stop here a second, I see something. Let's walk it from here." They dismounted their horses and  followed him.  
"There's deer been here... recently" Charles said examining the ground.  
"How can you tell?" Arthur asked confused.  
"How can you not?" Sadie snorted, pointing to the snow and Leyla spotted the familiar footprints of deer. "You see the tracks?"  
Arthur squinted his eyes. "I think so... maybe not."  
"It's easier in the snow, but once you get your eye in you'll be able to track nearly as well in grass and woods. Now you two stay here with the horses, they can spot us too easily" Charles said to Leyla and Sadie, and she rolled her eyes but follow his order.  
"Keep down now, move it quietly and slowly."

The men went away downstream, looking for their prey and Leyla took her time to look after the horses.  
They were just as affected with the cold as the humans were, so she brushed and caressed them, and they visibly enjoyed her efforts.  
"I miss my horse" Sadie mumbled, patting the Appaloosa gently.  
"The O'Driscolls took it, so I'll never see it again. I raised that horse, you know? Raised it since it was just a foal."  
Leyla looked at her with sympathy. "Yeah, I totally get you. My uncle had a horse ranch, I really miss them too."  
"Now, that explains why you're so good with them. They can sense it, you know?" Sadie was wearing a sad look on her face.  
"Well, as soon as we get off here we'll find you a horse for your own, I promise" Leyla said and smiled at her.  
  
After a while Arthur and Charles came back, both of them carrying a whitetail deer on their shoulders.  
"Nice work, Mister Morgan" Sadie said approvingly.  
Charles agreed with her: "Should be enough meat here to keep us all fed for a few days. I knew you'd be okay with that bow."  
"You found 'em. Besides, it's easier when they ain't shooting back" Arthur said while he stowed the carcass on his horse.  
"We've seen enough of that..." Leyla said more to herself.  
"Considering how things were looking a couple of days back, maybe our luck is finally on the turn" he looked over to Leyla.  
"Seems to me we should be putting out effort into getting off this mountain now" Charles caught his attention again.  
"Soon. People are still weak and you've seen how snowed in those wagons are. They ain't going nowhere until we get some more thaw."  
Charles nodded. "You're probably right. And, even if we do get off here, what then? We'll still have a big price on our heads."  
"This is a big country, we'll find somewhere to ly low. Dutch and Hosea will have a plan. Now, let's head back before it gets dark" Arthur said, and they mounted their horses again.

The women had to sit on the saddle since the deer took too much space on the horseback, so Leyla was pressed tight against Arthur's back.  
"You did a real good job there, Mister Morgan" she said when they rode back to the camp.  
"Aw, it's nothing. If Charles wasn't injured he would've shot them in half the time" he played it down.  
"It's Arthur, by the way" he added. Leyla smiled and clung a little closer to him.

Looking around she suddenly spotted something between the trees.  
She blinked, but the snow made it difficult for her to focus on it. When she recognized the shape, she gasped in awe.  
"Arthur, turn right!" she called.  
"What?" he asked, his body stiffened as he expected a threat.  
"Turn around quick, there's a horse!" Leyla pointed over to the trees and Arthur pulled the reins.  
"A horse? Up here in that cold?" he asked in disbelief, but she was now able to make out the delicate form of a white Arabian.  
"We need to catch it, come on" she said, and Arthur spurred his stallion when the wild horse fleed from them anxiously.  
Leyla clicked her tongue and called it to attract its attention, and soon it halted and looked over to them.  
"Easy now, we don't want to scare it" Leyla whispered to Arthur when she saw the horse prancing and whining at their sight.  
"What are we gonna do?" Arthur asked under his breath, turning his head to look at her.  
"We have to take it slow, gain its trust" she answered and dismounted.

It was a mare as Leyla could tell, and she was the most beautiful horse she had ever seen.  
Her fur was white as snow, and it was sheer luck that she had spotted it.  
Leyla slowly approached her and tried to calm her: "Easy girl, it's okay. You're a beauty, ain't you? I'm not gonna hurt you, it's okay."  
The horse turned its ears but stood still as she closed the distance between them, and Leyla almost could reach her hand out to touch her, when Arthur threw a lasso around the horse's neck.  
"No!" she called, but Arthur was tightening the sling and the Arabian reared up and neighed with fear.  
Arthur jumped off his horse and tried to pull, but the mare was strong and kicked its legs to free itself.  
He had trouble with holding the lasso, and soon he was out of his breath, letting go off the rope.  
Leyla took a decision and stood right in front of the horse to keep it from fleeing.  
It reared up again and she could hear Arthur scream: "Leyla, get away!" but she tried to calm the horse again.  
"Whoa, easy now! It's alright girl, come on" she crooned, patting its chest.  
The Arabian was still skittish, but didn't flee, and Leyla continued to caress her until she calmed.  
"You have any treats for her?" Leyla asked, looking over to Arthur.  
He stared at her, his mouth slightly opened, hardly believing his eyes.  
Slowly he took some biscuits out of his satchel and came closer to feed it to the horse. It pursed its lips and took the cookie, chewing it with delight.  
"That was... amazing." Arthur gulped.  
She chuckled and saw Charles and Sadie approaching them.

"Are you alright?" Charles called and his jaw dropped when he saw the horse.  
"What the heck..." he stumbled, his eyes flickering between Arthur and Leyla.  
"We just found a new horse for Mrs. Adler" she said, patting the horses' neck.  
Sadie wasn't able to utter a word and just stared at her like the others did.  
Leyla laughed and said: "Stop staring at me like I'm a ghost, we better stow the deer on that horse and be back for dinner."

On their way back they checked for the traps and found five more rabbits they took with them.  
Leyla couldn't suppress a stupid smirk on her face when Arthur watched her cutting off the yarn.  
"You're always good for a surprise" he said.

When they got back to the camp, Pearson already awaited them, raising an eyebrow at the new horse.  
The men untied the deer and took it to the fireplace, Sadie and Leyla followed them with the rabbits.  
"Well, well, well" he nodded at them. "See, you got on just fine. Have a drink boys, you earned it" he said, handing over a bottle.  
"Charles is a wonder. And the ladies here did just as good" Arthur said, taking a mouthful of the liquid.  
He made a face and cried out: "Jesus! What is that?!"  
"Navy rum, Sir. It's the only thing, the only thing! Keeps you sane it does" Pearson grinned.  
"Yes, seems to have done a treat on you" Sadie mocked and the others laughed.  
Pearson made a sour face but ignored her and said: "Mind helping me with the skinning Mister Morgan? It's easier if we do it together."  
"Do I get to skin you?" Arthur countered, obviously annoyed by the camp cook.  
"You're always one with the jokes, aren't you? Come on now."  
"Just make a good stew out of it, folks need it. It's been a tough few days. I'll take care of the horses, you ladies get back in and warm yourselves up" Charles said and lead them back.

A few hours later they sat together and savored their hot stew, the first real meal in days.  
Arthur, Charles, Hosea, Lenny and Javier joined the women in the big barn and Leyla could feel how the food brightened up the spirits.  
"I swear, I thought she was going crazy - a horse in that cold? No way! But Miss Leyla here holds some unexpected talents" Arthur told the other men about the white Arabian, proudly smiling at her.  
"And you fools wouldn't have us with you" Sadie sneered, and Leyla felt her cheeks flush at the compliments.  
"We'll tame that horse, get you a fine leather saddle and she'll be even better than the count" Hosea said, hinting at Dutch's white stallion who refused to take anyone on his back but Dutch himself.  
Sadie put down her bowl and touched Leyla's arm.  
"Thank you" she said, and Leyla knew that she meant it.  
They passed a bottle of liquor between each other, everybody being saturated and happy for the moment, and they were chatting about this and that.  
Leyla couldn't tolerate too much alcohol, and although it caused a nice warmth in her belly she decided not to drink too much concerning her health.

She rose to her feet and stepped outside to get some fresh air, and Arthur followed her.  
"You did real good today" he said with a smile, and she shook her head.  
"I gotta earn my keep here, I know that" she replied, trying to conceal that she felt flattered.  
"Besides, Sadie really deserves something that makes her happy after all that happened to her. She's a brave woman."  
Arthur slowly nodded, never leaving her gaze.  
"You're braver than you think, Leyla. Few more like you an' we could take over the whole world."  
He reached out for her face, tucking back a strand of hair that had loosened.  
"You know, it's funny... I feel like I have some kind of..." He frowned, searching for the word. " _Déjà vu_?" he said, searching her face.

She raised an eyebrow in surprise. _How was that even...?_  
He chuckled, shaking his head in embarrassment. "Never mind, I'm just talking silly."  
"You mean like... recollection? As if you have experienced something before?" she asked.  
He slowly nodded, locking eyes with her for another moment.  
"I guess. But it's late and it was a thrilling hunt today, so maybe I'll just put myself to bed. Good night, Leyla" he said, tipping his hat.  
"Good night" she said, her heart pounding against her chest.


	13. John Marston

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> Sorry for updating this late, I was very busy lately. But there will be better times, I'll promise (;

Sometimes, when Leyla woke up in the morning, she still had to recall where she was.  
How long had she been here now - two, three weeks maybe? She lost all sense of time since there were no calendars and no watches, at least she didn't own one. So the days just kept passing by, and the memories of her old life soon faded.

Despite everything she couldn't actually say that she missed it. Sure, the conveniences of modern life couldn't be argued away, but that wasn't the point. She just felt a deep sense of authenticity in this merciless world.  
Everything was so real: no virtuality, no deception and no pity. It was living to survive, but still there was something like freedom and truth in all this struggle, and she never felt like that before.  
Watching the other gang members she soon recognized, that they were all just as lost as she was, that's what kept them together. They were misfits searching for their place in the world, driven by a desire for love and acceptance.

Leyla kept thinking about that when she bumped into Abigail the other day, who was preparing fresh bandages for John. She was looking tired and exhausted, with dark circles under her eyes and her face pale like a ghost.  
"Mornin' Miss Roberts" Leyla said, and the other woman barely lifted her gaze to greet her back.  
"How's Mister Marston doing?" she tried to strike up a conversation.  
"Guess I was hoping to see a corpse" she muttered, washing out the blood stained cloth in some cold water that she had filled into a wooden barrel.  
"I think you should rest a little, you've been on your feet for too many days now. Why don't you get yourself some stew from Pearson and let me handle this for you?"  
Abigail looked up in confusion, unsure of what to think about that unexpected offer.  
"See, I don't mean you no harm Miss, I just want to help." Leyla took all her courage and placed a hand on Abigail's arm.

She sighed, slumping down as the tension she kept up for the last few hours released. It was hard enough for everybody here to care for themselves, but looking after a child and an injured husband?  
"It’s really impressive how you get along with all this" Leyla said, and she meant it.  
Abigail lifted her head and eyed her uncomprehendingly. "Why’s that?"  
"Raising a child out here... I can only imagine what it means to be a mother under these circumstances. And your little son, he’s a precious kid. Despite everything, he never complains, he’s always obedient and quiet."  
She looked back down, a slight smile appearing on her face.  
"I know... he always has been, even in the womb. The louder the world around us got, the quieter he was. Sometimes, I was afraid he... but then his little feet kicked me, and I knew he was still there."  
"You’re a good mother, he knows that. He knows his momma protects him."  
Her body stiffened and she clenched her fists. "If anybody do much as put one bruise on him I swear I’ll bring the fires of hell on them myself."  
Leyla chuckled: "I would never dare to doubt that. And your husband knows, too."  
"He's such a goddamn fool... I don't know why I'm even doing this" she whispered with tears in the corners of her eyes.  
"Well... I guess because you love him" Leyla simply stated.  
Abigail snorted, scornfully shaking her head. "It ain't love worrying about someone who'll never change. He's a rotten man."  
"I... I think maybe he's just afraid?" Leyla tried to calm her.  
"Yeah afraid of taking responsibility for his actions, that is."

Abigail sat down on the doorstep and took her head in both hands, her expression filled with despair. Leyla knelt down in front of her, never minding the icy snow under her legs, and searched her gaze.  
"Miss Robertson... I know, it sounds odd for you barely know me, but... if a man like John gets a woman like you, he might fear he won't be sufficient. No, please listen to me-" she said, when Abigail rolled her eyes fretfully.  
"Please, let me explain. He needs to have your back, that's what makes him strong. It all starts with a good woman" she smiled, patting her arm.  
The other woman curved her lips into a crooked smile, wiping her nose with her sleeve.  
"John Marston is the happiest man alive... he has a great wife and a great son. And one day, he'll be able to show you."  
Abigail looked up to her and frowned. "I highly doubt that, but... thank you, Miss Coleman."  
"Anytime. Now, hand me those bandages, I'll clean them for you and change John's dressing. I'll gag him if he's naughty." She winked, and Abigail snickered, obviously liking the idea.

After Leyla had washed out the clothes and her hands as best she could, she fetched some food and took it back to the cabin where John was lying on a makeshift bed. His head was all wrapped with bandages, and he was just wearing his long johns under the blanket. He opened his good eye to see who was coming, apparently not expecting her.  
"Good morning, Mister Marston. How do you feel today?" she asked politely.  
"Like horseshit" he grumbled, eyeing her suspiciously.  
"You're the lady they found in that homestead" he concluded.  
She nodded. "One of them, yes. My name is Leyla Coleman, I just sent your wife to get some rest, she really needs it."  
"She probably should've left me to die..." he said, closing his eyes again.  
"Well, considering how anxious she was about your well being, I don't think that was even an option to her."

He snorted, closing his eyes again. Apparently he wasn’t in the mood for talking, so Leyla dropped the rinsed cloths into a cauldron with hot water to sterilize them.  
There were already some clean ones drying over the fireplace, and she took them over to John’s bed.  
"I’m gonna change your dressing now, Mister Marston" she said and started to work when he didn’t answer.  
The wound was really nasty, the wolves had clawed or bitten his cheek and the scratches were deep, still a little weeping through the bandage.  
It was a miracle they didn’t kill him in the first place.  
He flinched when she carefully lifted the first layer that stuck to his skin, but he didn’t say a word.  
She silently continued to take off the remaining bandages and cleaned the wound with some tincture that probably Hosea had given to John.  
Since the medicine contained high amounts of alcohol to kill the bacteria, it must sure hurt like hell, and he clenched his jaw to endure the pain.

"You’re really lucky, you know" she eventually said, gingerly applying the fresh cloth on his face.  
"Oh yeah? How about we change places an’ see how you like a goddamn fire pit in your face" he hissed, his eyes still closed.  
Leyla ignored his snappy comment. "Well, I would’ve been grateful if somebody had looked after me out there."  
He didn’t answer, but she could feel him exhale deeply, his features somewhat relaxing.  
"Guess all about I got left now is doubts. Doubts and scars" he mumbled, opening his eyes to stare at the ceiling.  
"Arthur came to saved me, and now I owe him."  
"That's what brothers do, Mister Marston. So I’ve heard" she said and got up, throwing the used bandages into a bucket.  
She could feel his eyes on her back as she did so, but she pretended to be busy with stirring the washing water.

"You don’t know how lucky you are, Sir. I would be happy to be a part of a family just as you are, scars and all. By the way, your son wants to see you."  
She turned to face him and tried to play it casual when he was staring at her.  
"What, Jack?" he said flabbergasted.  
"He’s a fine young man. And believe it or not, he’s just as concerned about you as his mother. So what about if you eat up and I’ll fetch him?"  
Leyla took the bowl of food she got for him off the table and handed it to him when he sat up, one of his legs still fixed.

When she left to walk over to the barn, she was hoping that she didn’t get too far - she was interfering in other people’s private matters, but the devil may take her if she wouldn’t try to help them.  
Jack was sitting with Abigail near the fire, and he was watching his mother with true concern.  
Leyla stepped up to them and said: "Excuse me Miss, but Mister Marston would like to see his son."  
Abigail raised an eyebrow at her, and for a short moment Leyla thought she wouldn’t believe her.  
The boy was blinking confused, looking up to his mother.  
"It’s okay Jack, go and say hello to your father. He... needs you."  
Her son slowly nodded and Leyla held her hand out to him.  
"Come on, I’ll bring you to him" she said, nodding at Abigail.

"Do you feel better now, Miss?" Jack asked when they walked hand in hand.  
She smiled at the question and answered: "Yes, thank you, I feel way better. Your uncle Hosea gave me some medicine, and now I’m fine."  
"Will father get better, too?" he asked cautiously.  
Leyla looked down, giving him an encouraging smile and said: "Yes, I think so. But until then he needs you to care for him, just as your momma said."  
The boy nodded silently, and she guided him to John’s cabin.  
They entered the patient’s room and she hurried to close the door to keep the warmth inside, before she gently nudged Jack to walk over to his father.

"Good morning, Sir" he said, kneading his hands again as he was standing in front of his bed.  
John had just finished his meal and looked at him, unsure of what to say.  
"Well, there’s not much left of your father, I guess" he said dryly and Leyla just wanted to kick his sorry ass.  
But his son stepped up a bit and said: "I was scared you don’t come back. Momma was crying..."  
His father didn’t answer, he just kept staring at the boy.  
Suddenly, Jack fumbled his little coat and took out a small object from his pocket.  
"I found you a lucky charm!" he said, handing it to John.  
He frowned, trying to focus it with his one eye, and Leyla could see that it was a black stone, it’s surface smooth and glossy as if it was polished.  
"Now I’d better have this before I got caught up in that snowstorm..."  
Leyla rolled her eyes and thought: _Don’t you screw it up, you idiot!_  
Jack slowly lowered his hand and dropped his gaze with disappointment, but John reached out his hand and took the stone.  
"But I’ll keep it for now, just in case some wolves want me for dinner" he said, and the most wonderful smile appeared on Jack’s face.  
Leyla was satisfied and turned to leave the two alone for a while, hoping that they would get the chance to spend some time together.

When she opened the door, Arthur stood in front of her, his arm lifted up to knock.  
Before he could say a word, little Jack called: "Uncle Arthur!" and waved at him.  
His eyes left Leyla and he looked in surprise to the Marston boys.  
"Hey there Jack, how’s your daddy doin’?" he rumbled, gently patting the boy’s head.  
"Arthur" John simply said and nodded to the other man.  
"You’re still here then?" he said teasingly.  
"I guess..."

" _Arthur_!" Dutch’s hoarse voice boomed as he stepped in, shortly nodding at Leyla but not paying her any further attention.  
She hadn’t seen him much after the night they found her and Sadie, for he stayed with Molly in his own Cabin.  
She wondered how he still managed to look fancy in his black fur coat - a little ragged around the edges maybe, just as they all did, but still posh after all.  
"I think it’s time we pay the O’Driscolls a visit."  
Leyla’s stomach twisted at the words - so they still planned on fighting the O’Driscolls, but would they also find out about the train?  
"You want me to come?" John asked only half serious.  
"Of course I do, but... look at you" he said, eyeing his wound with concern.  
"I was always ugly, Dutch. It’s just a scratch..." John muttered and tried to get up, but Dutch gently pushed him back.  
"Lie still, son."  
"You sure about this Dutch?" Arthur asked carefully.  
"You wanna sit around waiting for him to come find us?" the gang leader huffed.  
"Folks been through a lot recently, we’re hardly back on out feet yet!"  
"And the last thing we need is to get bushwhacked by Colm O’Driscoll! Let’s go." Dutch glanced at him in wild determination, turning back to get out of the cabin.

Arthur shook his head, but followed him outside, and Leyla stayed on his tracks. "I know, you hate him Dutch..."  
"He’s here for us."  
"I doubt that..."  
"No, you’re just doubting _me_."  
Arthur looked at him with blank dismay. "I would never doubt you, Dutch, you... You always said revenge is a luxury we can’t afford!"  
"This is the right call, Arthur. And this is about more than revenge for business long ago."  
Leyla remembered that Dutch and Colm feuded with each other for years, but she couldn’t clearly recall why.

"And you think this is the right time to hit them?"  
"Now you might fancy living on deer piss and rabbit shit, I’m getting too old for this life. Let’s see if we can get any supplies and maybe some money, too."  
They mounted their horses together with Bill, Micah and Javier, who seemed to be quite pleased to be on their duty.  
"Mr. Matthews, Mr. Smith, Mr. Pearson, would you please look after the place, there are O’Driscolls about!" Dutch called, and his voice cracked with fury.  
Leyla walked over to Arthur’s horse and touched his leg. He looked down at her in surprise. She gulped, suddenly unsure of what to say.  
"Take care" she mumbled and stepped back, and Arthur just nodded at her silently.

She watched the men riding out of the camp and walked back to the barn where the others sat. If they stumbled across the plans for the train, she had been traveling back for nothing.  
And what if something happened to them she didn’t calculate?  
Her mind was racing about all the worse things that could happen, and she wondered how she could overcome the next few hours until they returned. When she got back inside she saw Sadie standing at a window, her arms crossed in front of her chest.

The last few days she had been busy with caring for her new horse: she brushed it, fed the sparse hay they had stored, and simply talked to it to gain its trust.  
After greeting each other Leyla asked: "So, have you already found a name for that mare?"  
The woman nodded, her lips curving into a smile. "Yes, it's Hera."  
Leyla grinned and answered: "A very appropriate name for such a magnificent horse."  
Sadie only shot her a short glance and looked back outside, seeming somewhat lost in her thoughts.

Suddenly, she whispered: "You know, I couldn't even bury him."  
Of course Leyla knew whom she was talking about, and she gulped at the thought. The O'Driscolls had killed her husband and when Arthur, Dutch and Micah had found the homestead, they had left the body there. Since it was so cold she assumed, that the corpse was probably frozen, at least she hoped that no animals had discovered it.  
She shuddered.

"He deserves a decent burial. And I need a place to..." Sadie broke off and sobbed.  
"We'll go and get him, but it's too dangerous right now. The O'Dricolls are still out there, and it's too cold to... we'll wait for the thaw and then get him."  
Leyla knew that it was important to her, she needed something to get closure on this somehow, and having a grave to visit surely would help her.  
"Okay..." she said, and wiped the tears off her face.

The next few hours stretched on endlessly, and Leyla tried to keep herself busy with helping Miss Grimshaw and Pearson to prevent herself of thinking too much about what might happened in the O'Driscoll's hideout. It was already getting dark and the weather had worsened, when she heard the horses arrive at the camp, so she went outside to see how they were getting along. She could spot Dutch followed by Javier, and in the rear Micah and Bill entered. But Arthur was nowhere to be seen.  
"I'm proud of you, boys! Not a man down, good work fellers" Dutch said when they tied up the horses.  
"Mister Van der Linde!" Leyla called and blushed when he looked at her with surprise.  
"It's... good to see you back. But... where's Ar... Mister Morgan?" she blurted.  
"Don't worry, he's after one of them O'Driscolls. The coward must've fled when we shot the place up" Dutch answered, and Leyla nodded.  
It must be Kieran Duffy, the unfortunate hangaround who would later become a part of the gang.

So it wasn't long before Arthur arrived, Leyla could hear his raspy voice roar outside, and she felt like a heavy weight lifted off her chest.  
"Here we are, you sack of shit. Let's introduce you to the boys." He took the captivated man off his horse and carried him over to Dutch's cabin.  
"Don't hurt me, please!" the young man begged. It was already too dark to see a lot, but Leyla could tell that he was in a miserable condition.  
"Oh, don't worry, they're _real_ nice."  
Dutch came out of his cabin to welcome them and sneered: "You found the little shit, don't you?"  
"Yep, I got him" Arthur answered and dropped Kieran harshly in the snow.  
"Very good. Welcome to your new home... hope you're real happy here." Dutch's voice was filled with contempt and mockery.  
"You want me to make him talk?" Arthur said, grabbing the O'Driscoll and showing his face to the gang leader.  
"Oh now, all we get is lies. Uncle, Mister Williamson, tie this maggot up someplace safe. We get him hungry first. I got a saying, my friend" Dutch said, sizing him up.  
"We shoot fellers as need shooting, save fellers as need saving, and feed 'em as need feeding. We're gonna find out what you need."  
Kieran looked at him with blank fear in his eyes, and Leyla couldn't tell if he was shaking from the cold or from terror.

"I can't believe it! An O'Driscoll in my camp!" Dutch laughed and raised his hands in disbelief, when the other man tried to get him out of this hopeless situation.  
"No, I ain't an O'Driscoll, Mister! I hate that feller!" he screamed while Bill dragged him over to a barn. She somehow felt sorry for him, but she put her hope in the future - he would live.  
"Oh, whatever you say, son. Well done, Arthur" Dutch said, and Leyla could sense that they managed to set their quarrel from earlier aside.  
"I'm just sorry we missed out on Colm" he answered. _So they hadn't been able to catch him_ , Leyla thought.  
"Oh, there's time enough for that. Now we all need some rest and wait for this goddamn weather to clear up."  
"Alright" Arthur answered and turned around to see Leyla watching the scene from her cabin.

Suddenly, Sadie came outside, a wild look in her face.  
"He's here? One of those bastards? Let me at him!" she hissed, drawing out a gun from her belt.  
Leyla stepped in front of her, raising her hands to calm her.  
"Sadie, no! No!" she called, but the woman didn't listen, trying to shove her aside.  
Leyla grabbed her shoulders and searched her eyes. "Sadie, look at me. Hey! I said look at me. This won't bring him back."  
She could see tears filling up her eyes, and she gritted her teeth. "I don't care, let me-"  
"Mrs. Adler!" All of a sudden Arthur was at her side.  
"The men that killed your husband are dead now, we shot them when we came to your place" he said, and Sadie frowned at him.  
"They got what they deserved. We need this feller to get us information about Colm. Maybe he can tell us about his plans" he explained, and she slowly calmed herself down.  
"Okay..." she said, and put her gun back.  
"Let's get you ladies inside now" Arthur grumbled, and gently nudged them forward.

Inside, the others sat around the fireplace and had dinner, so the three joined them.  
Sadie was too flustered to eat, so she took herself a place aside to be for her own a little.  
"Arthur!" Hosea called when they sat down. "How was your trip?"  
Arthur took a bowl of stew and had a few spoons before he spoke.  
"Wasn't too interesting, we just caused some trouble and shot the place up, but they seemed to be starving up here just as we do. Got us some cans of food and some money, that's all."  
He chewed slowly before he added: "I think it was more about... taking a stance, to speak with Dutch's words."  
Leyla felt her tension abate when she heard him - so they didn't come along the plans for the train robbery!

"The amount of hell we're raising, we'll be owed some back" Charles said laconically.  
Arthur raised a brow but didn't answer, he sure knew that he was right in some way.  
"It's really a mess up here in that goddamn cold, but living free out here like this... I wouldn't have it any other way" Lenny joined the conversation, and the other men laughed.  
Hosea looked at him and said: "It's easy to say that when you're young, Lenny. If you're lucky to live long enough to reach my age you would trade this for a nice warm place anytime."  
"Hear, hear" Arthur snorted. "The wise old man has spoken."  
"I wish I had acquired wisdom at less of a price" Hosea huffed, but the atmosphere was still cheerful.  
It seemed like the gang was finally experiencing some kind of success, and the attack on their rivals gave them some of their confidence back.

Later Javier picked his old guitar, it was made of cedar wood and somehow survived the sudden escape from Blackwater. It was pretty battered up, but the strings were still intact, and after a little tuning Javier began to pick a simple, but beautiful melody.  
Some of the others were still chatting, but Leyla was just watching Javier and enjoyed the mexican music. He didn't particularly seem to care if anybody was listening, he was just playing for himself, and his fingers flying over the fretboard kind of hypnotized her.

When he stopped, Leyla felt awakening from a dream and looked up to him with a frown. He was watching her with amusement, and she felt her cheeks blush.  
"You wanna play señorita?" he asked, holding out the instrument to her.  
"Oh, I... I don't think I..." she stammered.  
"Now don't you tell me you can't play. I saw your fingers twitching, you know how to do it. Come on, vamos!" Javier handed her the guitar and looked at her expectantly.  
She could feel the others watching her too, curious about what she was going to do now.  
"Sing us a song, Leyla!" Tilly said, and the other girls were moving closer.  
Leyla cleared her throat, unsure of what to do now. The songs she knew were modern, they haven't even been written yet, so she couldn't just play anything. Since her uncle enjoyed old country, blues and folk records, she suddenly had an idea.  
"Well... I know a song that you guys might like" she said, shooting Arthur a short glance who was watching her with interest.  
Then she began to play The Master's Call by Marty Robbins.  
It was a tale about an outlaw who was saved in the face of death, and since it was more narrative and the lyrics were contemporary, she thought it was safe to play it.  
After some intro notes she took a deep breath and began to sing:

_When I was but a young man, I was wild and full of fire,_  
_A youth within my teens, but full of challenge and desire._  
  
Leyla could see from the corner of her eyes that Hosea was laughing and elbowed Arthur who was sitting at his side. Arthur raised an eyebrow at him but didn't respond.

_I ran away from home and left my mother and my dad,_  
_I know it grieved them so to think their only boy went bad.  
I fell in with an outlaw band, their names were known quite well,  
_  
\- the gang cheered at the line-  
_  
How many times we robbed and plundered, I could never tell._  
_This kind of sinful living, leads only to a fall,_  
_I learned that much and more the night I heard my Master's call._

Her voice was still a little rapsy, but she managed to get along and quickly got used to Javier's old guitar. The girls were excited about the new song and tipped their feet to the rhythm.

_One night we rustled cattle, a thousand head or so,_  
_And started then out on the trail that leads to Mexico._  
_When a norther started blowing and lightning flashed about,_  
_I thought someone was calling me, I thought I heard a shout._  
_Then at that moment lightning struck not twenty yards from me,_  
_And left there was a giant cross where once there was a tree._  
_This time I knew I heard a voice, a voice so sweet and strange,_  
_A voice that came from everywhere, a voice that called my name._

Leyla could sense that her audience was getting quiet, and the high spirits changed for a more contemplative mood. She wasn't sure if any of the gang members were truly religious, aside from Reverend Swanson, who was probably drinking with Uncle and Pearson...

_So frightened I was thinking of sinful deeds I'd done,_  
_I failed to see the thousand head of cattle start to run._  
_The cattle they stampeded, were running all around,_  
_My pony ran but stumbled and it threw me to the ground._  
_I felt the end was near, that death would be the price,_  
_When another bolt of lightning showed the face of Jesus Christ._  
_And I cried oh Lord forgive me, don't let it happen now,_  
_I want to live for you alone, Oh God these words I vow._  
_My wicked past unfolded and I thought of wasted years,_  
_When another bolt of lightning killed a hundred head of steers._  
_And the others rushed on by me and I was left to live,_  
_The Master had a reason, life is his to take or give._

Mary-Beth clutched at her chest, obviously touched by the song. In a world without TV and internet, people were trading their stories by music and tales, sitting together around the fire listening to each other.  
So it didn't really surprise Leyla that the story stirred something inside them, because they could relate to the narrator. So she went on to the last verse:

_A miracle performed that night, I wasn't meant to die,_  
_The dead ones formed a barricade nearly six or seven high._  
_And right behind it there was I, afraid but safe and sound_ ,  
_I cried in vain for mercy kneeling there upon the ground_.  
_A pardon I was granted, my sinful soul set free_ ,  
_No more to fear the angry waves upon life's stormy seas._  
_Forgiven by the love of God, a love that will remain_ ,  
_I learned that much and more the night the Saviour called my name._

She gave a slow strum to the strings and the song ended, the last note still audible in the silent barn. Leyla lifted her head and instinctively looked over to Arthur, his eyes peering through her like needles.  
Suddenly Mary-Beth started to applause her, and Leyla could see that she was sheepishly wiping a tear off her cheek. The others soon joined in, and one of the men whistled approvingly.  
"That was great, Leyla!" Karen said clapping her hands. "Sing us another one!"  
"Oh no, sorry but my throat is still a little sore, I better don't overdo things" Leyla replied and gave the guitar back to Javier.  
"Thank you Mister Escuella" she said, and Javier nodded.  
"You did very well Miss, you can take the guitar anytime you like."

Leyla felt a little out of place with the attention of everybody in the room, so she decided to stand up and get outside.  
The icy air of the night stung her skin, but she didn't mind since it helped her to literally cool down a bit.  
After a few minutes Arthur joined her. He took a match to light his cigarette, and for a brief moment she could see his face in the light of the flame.  
He took a long drag, the white smoke whirling in the air, and then offered the cigarette to her. She hesitated for a moment, then she took it.  
Her fingers brushed his and she felt a shiver going through her body.  
"Where'd you learn that?" Arthur asked.  
Leyla shrugged and handed the cigarette back to him. "My uncle liked it, he played it to me."  
Arthur just nodded, and they remained silent for a while, just passing the cigarette between them.

"You know... things like that... they just ain't happening" Arthur eventually said and Leyla turned to face him.  
"What do you mean?" she asked.  
"Well..." He scratched his neck and looked out into the dark before he answered her.  
"I ain't no religious man, never was. My momma died when I was a kid, and my daddy... well, I watched him die, and it weren't soon enough."  
There was a bitterness in his voice that made her watch him carefully when he spoke.  
Her eyes got used to the darkness and she was able to make out his features.  
His lips were firmly pressed together and he had crossed his arms in front of his chest.  
"I've lived a bad life" he said gravely, and flipped the end of the cigarette away.  
"We've all lived bad lives, Arthur. We all... sin, if you like. But I know you-"  
"You don't know me" he said grimly, his jaw clenched.

Leyla swallowed, suddenly feeling empty at his words.  
She knew more about him than he could ever guess, but she wasn't able to tell him. All the guilt, all the remorse he constantly expressed - she had to convince him that there was more to him than he could see.  
"Forgive me, but... that's pretty much the problem. You don't know you."  
Arthur looked up to her with a frown, searching her face. "What do you mean?"  
"I don't know, but whenever I see you, you're always helping people" she said, holding his gaze.  
He knew it was true, there was nothing he could deny about that, but still he was full of doubt and suspicion.  
"I still don't believe in nothing."

Leyla nodded and curved one side of her lips to a crooked smile and said: "Often neither do I... but then I meet someone like you... and everything makes sense."  
He blinked, somewhat surprised by her words, and she was glad that it was too dark for him to see her blush.  
"You're too smart for me, Leyla. I guess I... I'm just a silly old fool" he said and chuckled, shaking his head.  
"I think you're being hard on yourself" she touched his arm, "at least when it comes to your age" she snickered.  
Arthur snorted and only half serious answered: "I dare you play games with me, woman."

Leyla savored that moment with Arthur, just humor and camaraderie between them, and all tension and concerns forgotten for a while.


	14. Thawing

After the last snowstorm, when the men had attacked the O'Driscoll's hideout, the weather was getting better with each passing day.  
The sun warmed up the ice and snow, and Leyla could see the icicles hanging on the roof of the barn melting.  
Jack had fun with the now cloggy snow, building sculptures that soon collapsed.  
The general mood in the camp became better too, and everybody was growing impatient to move on.

Finally, they packed up their sparse belongings one sunny morning, the women being busy with gathering everything from the cabins, and the men harnessing the horses to the wagons.  
Leyla tried to help as good as she could, but Miss Grimshaw had a very bad temper and was chasing the girls without mercy.  
Mary-Beth had just finished her work and sat down to read one of her books when the older woman snatched it from her.  
"Oh for Lord's sake, put that book away and go help!" Grimshaw yelled at her, and she hurried to do what she said.  
When Leyla tied up the trunks to keep them from falling, she saw Arthur coming back to camp from one of his hunting trips.  
His brown and white patched Tennessee Walker was in stark contrast to his blue jeans winter coat.  
He had left it unbuttoned because of the higher temperatures, and she could see that it was lined with lambskin fur.  
He nodded in her direction under the brim of his leather hat, and she smiled, feeling an odd delight in her chest.

"So, we getting out of this hellhole?" he said after he dismounted his horse and went over to Dutch who was talking with Hosea.  
"We're gonna try, weather seems stable. The worst is behind us, gentlemen, so the question is: where now?"  
"I know this country a little, I told you we should set up camp in Horseshoe Overlook near Valentine" Hosea explained to the two younger men.  
"We'll be able to hide out there no problem, as long as we keep our noses clean."  
Dutch nodded and answered: "Well then let's go, clean noses and everything else."

Leyla took a deep breath and closed her eyes for a moment.  
So finally, they would get out of the mountains and head south, which meant that she still had to prevent Arthur from beating up the rancher suffering from tuberculosis.  
Before she was able to think about that particular problem any further, Sadie was suddenly at her side.  
"Leyla..." she gulped, turning her gaze away.  
"What's wrong, Sadie?" Leyla asked, watching her with concern.  
"You know... we talked about... about my Jakey. You said you would help me with..." She didn't finish her sentence, but Leyla knew what she was talking about.  
It was horrible to know that her husband's mortal remains were still out there, and she never would have a place to go and grieve for him.  
That's why Leyla had promised to help Sadie get the body and bury him.  
The thought still sent shivers down her spine, but she knew that she had to do it - it was the least she could do.  
So she nodded and said: "Sure, let's ask Charles for his saddle, Taima won't need it since she's harnessed to one of the wagons."

The two went over to Charles who was already sitting on a coach box.  
He was squinting his eyes with suspicion when Leyla asked him for the favor, Sadie standing aside with her arms crossed in front of her chest just as usual.  
"That's a pretty dangerous task you're trying to undertake" he finally answered, looking back and forth between the women.  
"But I understand why you have to do it. Of course you can have my saddle." He got down and went back to the wagon, taking off the saddlery and handing it to her.  
"Thank you, Charles. We really appreciate that, both of us" Leyla said, turning her head to Sadie.  
She was nodding at him and mumbled something under her breath, visibly relieved by his answer.  
"Just be careful out there, you hear me?" Charles called at them.

Hera was tied to one of the posts in front of the barn, shaking her head with anticipation when she saw the women approaching her.  
Sadie affectionately patted her neck and kissed her nose, whispering to her.  
The mare was a little skittish when Leyla placed the saddle on her back, but Sadie soon managed to calm her.  
They were really trusting one another.  
While Leyla was attaching the leather belts, she heard someone stepping closer and turned around to see who it was.  
Arthur frowned at her and his eyes were sizing up the horse and the women.  
"Whatta you doin'?" he said, his accent clearly noticeable.  
Leyla lifted her head and looked at him directly.  
"We're getting Sadie's husband" she replied with a firm voice, and his frown deepened before the words fully reached him.

He placed his hands on his hips and dropped his gaze, pursing his lips in disapproval.  
"I don't think that's a good idea" he said, picking the snow with the tip of his boot.  
"That's none of your business" Sadie hissed at him, lifting her chin stubbornly.  
He sighed and put his hands up in a calming motion. "Listen, Mrs. Adler... I know-"  
"No, you don't. You don't know anything about me. Nobody's taking nothing from me ever again."  
Her eyes were burning with fury, not a bit of the depressed widow left at that moment.

Leyla decided that it was time to interfere, for she saw Arthur alarmingly clenching his jaw and staring at Sadie with the same anger.  
"Arthur, it's settled. We'll get up to that homestead, get the bo... Mister Adler, and bring him down to bury him."  
Dutch and Hosea must have watched the scene and came over, asking what was going on.  
When Leyla answered them, Arthur tried to contradict, but Dutch held up his hand and silenced him.  
"We need a good few hours before we can set out, and the wagons are slow. I'm sure there will be a few stops before we reach Horseshoe Overlook, so the ladies can join us later" he said, looking at the women with interest.  
"It's too dangerous, we don't even know if there ain't any O'Driscolls around!" Arthur growled, holding out his arm to the distant mountains.  
Hosea stepped between the two, trying to cool it down. "Look, you and me take the rear and we'll wait for the women down at Cattail pond" he said.  
Arthur sighed and waved his hand, turning to face Leyla again.  
"Fine. Here" he handed his rifle to her.  
She took it with surprise and looked up to him, searching his eyes.  
He stood in front of her for another moment before he gently touched her arm and quietly said: "Be careful out there."

Leyla nodded and watched him leave with the other men, still a little off-guarded by his concern.  
"So, you're going to stand there forever or we ready?" Sadie sneered from behind, and Leyla got out of her stupor.  
She turned and stowed the weapon on the saddle, finding Sadie already mounted on her horse.  
Getting up behind her, Leyla shot one last look to the wagons and saw Arthur watching her from afar.  
Sadie spurted Hera and they quickly got out of the camp.

They followed the river until the road ended, and then made their way through the sparse trees.  
Sadie led the horse through the damp snow and didn't say a word, Leyla could feel the tension that built up with every mile they came closer to the ranch.  
It must have been around midday when they finally arrived at a small cliff that allowed them to overlook the landscape.  
Sadie pulled the reins a little too rough, and Hera neighed with irritation. Leyla leaned forward to ask if there was anything wrong, and then she saw it.  
Black traces of soot and ashes cut through the reflecting white snow, and the burnt beams stuck in the ground like broken teeth.

It was a sad sight, and for Sadie it must be almost unbearable to see her former home like this.  
Leyla carefully touched her and said: "Come on, let's take a look."  
Sadie just nodded and lead the horse down to the ruins of her ranch.  
The smell of smoke stung their noses when they dismounted, still clearly noticeable.  
The cabin itself had collapsed by the fire, and Sadie was walking around between the remaining wood.  
Suddenly, she bent down and rummaged between the burnt logs.  
"Did you find something?" Leyla asked, and stepped closer.  
Sadie didn't answer, she just drew out a knife and Leyla saw her opening up a lock box that stood on the ground.  
It opened with a mournful creak, and Sadie took out a beautiful necklace.  
"That belonged to my mother" she said quietly, turning it between her fingers.  
Leyla knelt down at her side, and gently stroked her back without saying anything.

Sadie stowed it in her coat and stood up, her lips firmly pressed together.  
Then she looked around, her gaze searching her surroundings, until she finally stared at a small wagon a few feet away from the entrance of the cabin.  
"Sadie?" Leyla asked carefully, but she didn't respond.  
With slow steps she approached the wagon and stopped right in front of it. The wheels were stuck deeply in the snow and even filled up with a thick white layer of it.  
When Leyla closed up to her, she suddenly recognized that it wasn't just the snow that was building up inside of the wooden load space - instead she could make out a strange shape beneath the frozen crystals.  
Cupping her hands Sadie scooped the snow out of it and soon came upon a stiff linen sheet.  
She suddenly stopped her efforts and turned around, kneeling down on the scorched earth, her face red with anger and sorrow - and then she screamed.  
It was a haunting sound that struck her to the core - the primeval cry of pain that was deeper than any knife could cut.  
Leyla felt tears stinging her eyes, the compassion for her friend leaving a lump in her throat.

After a while, Leyla couldn't say how long she just stood there in silence, Sadie got up again and wiped her nose on the cuff of her coat.  
"We... we have to get him out here" she said huskily, but didn't directly look at Leyla.  
"Okay... I guess we can tie the wagon to Hera if it's still intact."  
The two women struggled a bit to get the wagon out of the snowbank, but eventually they managed to pull it off and tied a makeshift harness to Hera's saddle.  
"Alright, I think we should try to make some ground before it gets dark, I don't think we'll be able to catch up to the others today" Leyla said, and Sadie just nodded.  
She let Leyla sit in the saddle and got up behind her, not looking back on the remains of her life.  
Being heavily laden the horse was slower than before now, and Leyla soon felt the sweat on its flanks from the physical extortion.

All of a sudden Leyla halted the horse, looking around in confusion.  
"What's wrong?" Sadie asked from behind.  
"I... I think I lost the way" she answered, desperately trying to find the path they came up. Where was the river they had followed before?  
Everything around her was just looking the same, the sparse trees and the snowy rocks just seemed to repeat themselves endlessly.  
"Shit..." she cursed, feeling the panic rising in her belly.  
"Okay, don't lose your head now. Just keep on going, we'll find a place to stay. If I remember correctly, there's a cabin somewhere east of the river" Sadie tried to calm her.  
She took a deep breath and kicked Hera's sides to keep her going, hoping they would somehow manage to get back on their way.

After a while they could spot a frozen lake between the trees with a small wooden cabin pressed against the back of the mountain.  
Out of nowhere they heard someone call and Leyla felt her pulse rising. It was a man who was wandering between the trees, cupping his hands around his mouth.  
"Give a shout if you can hear me! Tucker!"  
"The hell is that guy?" Sadie asked from behind and already reached out her hand for the rifle.  
The stranger was looking around until he eventually saw the two women.  
His eyes widened and he waved his arms at them: "Hey you there! Stop a minute, please!"  
"What do you want?" Sadie hissed at him.  
He approached them with his hands raised to show that he wasn't armed, and Leyla relaxed a little.

"Ladies... I'm looking for my friend. We was in the cabin and he went out to get firewood last night, but he got lost."  
Leyla was watching him carefully, and he actually didn't look too well.  
His face was reddened from the cold, he must've been outside for quite a while.  
His eyes were filled with true concern and he seemed pretty out of breath.  
"I'm getting real worried, I've searched everywhere. Would you help me look for him?" he asked.  
"Look, we ain't got no time for that" Sadie answered dismissively, but Leyla turned on the saddle to talk to her.  
"Listen, Sadie... it's getting dark soon and we got nowhere to sleep tonight. Maybe we should help him and stay here, okay?"  
The other woman squinted her eyes and frowned, but eventually she nodded and Leyla placed a hand on her thigh and smiled.  
She turned back to the guy and said: "Alright, we'll do it. It would be helpful if you let us stay here for the night."  
He sighed in relief and answered: "Of course. I'm gonna keep looking around the cabin. That's where I last saw him. If you could search the wider perimeter, I'd really appreciate it."  
"Sure."

The women went over to the small house and untied the wagon from Hera, hoping that the stranger wouldn't take a too close up look on their cargo.  
A horse was tied to a post in front of the cabin, they supposed it belonged to him.  
"Let's get up there, I think we might get a better view on everything" Leyla said and pointed to a hill.  
"I can't believe we're doing this..." Sadie muttered.  
The sun was setting quickly, and without its warming the bleak cold crept into their coats, making their mission even more depressing.  
"How on god's green earth are we supposed to find anything up here?" Leyla heard her friend complain from behind, but she was focused on her surroundings.  
She soon spotted some tracks on the ground, imprints of hooves as far as she could tell.  
"Look... someone's been up here" she said.  
She followed the tracks and soon made out a group of rocks sticking out of the snow.  
"What the..." Sadie didn't end her sentence, and Leyla immediately saw the reason why.  
There was a distorted body lying over the grey surface of the rocks, and she felt her hands tighten around the reins.

"Hey, so... find anything?" they heard the stranger calling from behind and both flinched at the sound.  
Leyla turned the horse and saw him coming up to them.  
"He's up here, over a rock. Listen, Mister... You might not want to see him" Leyla carefully tried to tell him.  
"Oh... Tucker? Oh God!" he cried and ran as fast as the snow allowed him to.  
He went over to the lifeless body and covered his mouth with one hand at the sight.  
When the women came closer they could see that the corpse was terribly messed up, the clothes were torn and the torso was ripped apart.  
Still, the wounds were not too fresh, he was already frozen and stiff.  
Leyla felt sorry for him and his friend who was now crying over his loss.  
"Oh shit, I wouldn't wish that on my worst enemy. Oh Tucker... Tucker..." he sobbed helplessly.

Leyla swallowed hard and already turned to leave him alone for a while, when she suddenly heard a roar coming up from the woods.  
The horse neighed with terror and reared up without further warning, so Sadie and Leyla were knocked from the saddle.  
A lightning of pain struck Leyla when she fell to the icy ground, and for a few seconds her vision was blurred.  
From afar she could hear the stranger scream in agony: "Oh Jesus, no!" and then a disgusting ripping sound made her intestines tighten.  
She rolled over to look around and saw a huge bear attacking the man.  
Sadie was lying next to her but didn't move, so Leyla crawled over trying to wake her up and shook her shoulders.  
"Sadie, come on! We have to get out of here!"  
Their horse had fled and was nowhere to be seen, so Leyla's thoughts were circling with panic.  
The animal was monstrous, its dark fur streaked with scars, and its paws reinforced with gigantic claws.  
Leyla looked around and spotted the rifle that had fallen off the saddle when the horse spooked, and without thinking she got up to her feet and ran to it.  
She heard the bear roaring again, getting up to its full height by standing on his hind legs and looking for another prey to take down.  
As she grabbed the rifle she turned around and unlocked it, the bear already baring its yellow teeth and coming for her.  
She placed the weapon against her right shoulder, squinted one eye close and pulled the trigger.

The recoil of the rifle was enormous, but she didn't feel the pain. She just shot one bullet after the other directly at the bear's head, but he refused to go down.  
He was roaring angrily and soon closed the short distance between them, until he finally collapsed right in front of her feet.  
She felt herself pulling the trigger again and again, although the magazine was already emptied.  
As if in trance, she only recognized somebody calling her name, and eventually dropped the rifle to turn around.  
"Leyla!" It was Arthur who was riding like the devil himself, Hera tied up to his horse and following him.  
He jumped off the saddle and ran over to her.  
"Leyla, are you alright?" he said, grabbing her shoulders.  
She flinched at the sudden pain, and Arthur examined her for any wounds.  
"Did he get you?" he asked with concern.  
"No, I... it's just the rifle, I'm not used to it" she said, gingerly touching the sensitive skin.  
"What happened? I wanted to follow you, but then I saw the horse down at Cairn Lake and..." He broke up looking at the carcass on the ground.  
"How come you always get yourself in danger?" he said, frowning at her.  
"I could ask you the same" she replied dryly, and his expression went blank.

Suddenly, they heard Sadie moaning from behind and went over to look for her.  
"Mrs. Adler, are you okay?" Arthur helped her up and she groaned, rubbing her head.  
"What the hell..." she said and squeaked when she spotted the dead bear a few feet away from her.  
"It's alright, he's dead" Leyla calmed her, and Sadie's eyes was flickering bewilderedly between her and the cadaver.  
"How did you... I mean - he - what?" she stammered, and Leyla couldn't help herself but snicker at her confusion.  
"That's a beast" Arthur said and kicked the bear with one foot.  
He looked up to her and nodded with incredulous approval. "How did you manage to get him down?"  
She shrugged, but already regretted doing so for her shoulder hurt like hell.  
"I was lucky, I guess" she said, still a little dizzy from the adrenaline that shot through her veins.

"We have to get inside, it's too cold out here" Sadie said, her arms wrapped around her chest while her teeth were chattering.  
"Take the horse and get into that cabin, I'll follow you in a minute" Arthur said and took out his knife.  
The women nodded and got back on Hera, making their way back to the lake.  
When they arrived they tied her next to the dead man's horse, and Leyla gently patted its neck with sympathy.  
Inside there was a small fireplace with some ember left, and they hurried to make a fire.  
"Leyla, I... thank you" Sadie mumbled, not looking at her directly.  
"I would do it again" Leyla replied, reaching out to touch Sadie's arm.  
She nodded, her lips firmly pressed together, and they sat in silence until Arthur came back.  
He had skinned the bear and brought some meat for dinner.

At first, Leyla was appalled by the thought, but then she came to the conclusion that it was only practical to do so.  
While he was roasting the meat over the now nicely burning fire, Leyla told him what happened after they went off the Adler's ranch.  
"I shouldn't have let you ride alone" he muttered, staring into the flames.  
"Well, I don't know about you, Mister Morgan, but as far as I can see Leyla did a pretty good job here" Sadie argued with a low voice, giving him a withering look.  
"I'm quite aware, Mrs. Adler, but I'm sure you agree with me that even a skilled hunter would've been troubled with killing a ten feet tall grizzly bear" he hissed back and stared at her with undisguised anger.  
"Alright now, I think you both made your point clear. I suggest you spare your energy for the ride tomorrow" Leyla finally took over and put an end to the discussion.  
The three finished their meal in silence, and afterwards Arthur went out to look for the horses and get some firewood.

Sadie didn't look too well, and Leyla was concerned about her since she had gone through some really bad things today.  
"Are you okay?" she carefully asked her.  
Sadie was nodding, but instantly squinted her eyes and hissed as she did so.  
"Ah... I think I hurt my head at the fall" she answered and lifted her hand to her temple.  
"Go on then, try to sleep a little" Leyla said and pointed over to the makeshift bed at the end of the small cabin.  
"What about you?" Sadie asked, but she smiled and shook her head in reassurance.  
"I'll be fine, go to sleep now."  
Sadie was looking at her with skepticism, but eventually she turned around and left.  
Arthur came back a few minutes later and shifted his eyes from her to Sadie, who was lying on the bed with her back to the fire.  
He raised an eyebrow at Leyla but didn't say anything, he just sat down in front of her and they remained silent until they could hear Sadie's steady breath.

Leyla kept watching the flames devouring the wood, and soon felt herself relax.  
"That was mighty brave of you, Miss Coleman" Arthur finally said.  
She looked up at him, surprised by the sudden formality he seemed to went back to.  
He had tipped his hat back, his sea-green eyes wandering over her face.  
"Thank you, Mister Morgan. I just did what I could" she replied politely, and saw the corner of his mouth twitching with amusement.  
"Despite Mrs. Adler's opinion, I still believe I should have escorted you" he said, his expression growing serious again.  
"You are not in charge of watching over me or Sadie. It was our choice to ride out, and we're responsible for our own safety" she answered.

"Well, I guess it's not quite clear to you, but you're a member of the gang now, no matter for how long or short it might be. An' one rule is that nobody gets left behind."  
Leyla swallowed, suddenly stung by his words. She couldn't even tell why, but it somehow bothered her that he was talking to her like that.  
It reminded her of his annoyed reaction towards Abigail or Dutch, after they had asked him to do them a favour and he was fulfilling their wishes against his will.  
It made her embarrassed that he might feel she was a burden to him.  
"Now, I'm sorry for wasting your valuable time, Mister Morgan. But as you can see I was getting along quite fine without your help, I didn't ask you to come back" she snapped, her tone a little spicier than she had intended to.  
Arthur blinked with confusion, obviously not prepared for an answer like that.

Turning her head to avoid his gaze, she kept her hands busy by untying her bedroll that she had brought inside with her.  
She inhaled sharply at a sudden pain in her shoulder, a reminder of her encounter with the bear.  
Leyla opened her coat and tried to examine her wound, when Arthur came to her side.  
"Lemme take a look at that" he mumbled, not looking at her directly.  
When she pulled back her dress a little to expose her skin, she felt him stiffen for a moment and reckoned to see a faint blush on his cheeks, but it was too dim to tell.  
He carefully examined a nasty looking bruise on the crook of her shoulder, and she flinched when he touched the tender flesh with his gloved hand.  
Arthur cleared his throat and finally said: "I'm afraid this will affect you for another few days, but it's nothing too serious."  
She nodded, covering herself up again, although she wasn't cold at all.  
"I guess I have to practice shooting then" she answered, looking up to him when he didn't move away.

He was still very close to her, searching her eyes with a slight frown, and she felt her breath quicken.  
"Look I... ah, I didn't want to offend you... I was just really worried, I guess" he said, not leaving her eyes.  
Leyla immediately felt sorry for the harsh words and dropped her gaze, unsure of what to say first.  
"It's just... I don't want to be a millstone" she eventually answered quietly.  
He carefully lifted her chin with his hand, and he saw his frown deepen when he looked at her.  
"I didn't come back because it's my duty or somethin'. I came back because," he gulped. "Because I wanted to make sure you're alright."  
Her lips slightly parted at this unexpected confession, and she suddenly felt the overwhelming urge to press herself to his chest and hold him as close as she could.

But she just nodded at him and managed to smile a little.  
"I am. Now I am" she said, and his expression softened at that.  
Arthur cleared his throat again and got up to get his rifle.  
"I think you should rest now, I'll stand on guard for the night in case there's another bear wanting to get a bite of you" he said with a grin.  
She rolled her eyes and shook her head, but she was really tired after that eventful day, and so she snuggled up to her bedroll.

"Good night, Arthur."  
"Good night, Leyla."


	15. The Heartlands

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> Hey y’all, hope you’re still with me? I know I’ve been a little flaky with the last two chapters, but I hope I’ll find more time to update soon.  
> So as usual, enjoy (:

Leyla had a restless sleep, haunted by threatening dreams of bears and frozen bodies, but when she woke up she found that Arthur and Sadie were already preparing for breakfast.  
It was still dark outside, and she felt a little awkward for they hadn’t woken her up, but she freed herself from the bedroll and tried to smooth her hair a little.  
Her attempts on her appearance were miserable of course, for she hadn’t been able to check herself in a mirror for a good few weeks.  
Besides, there were more important things to do than paying attention to her looks, so she contented herself with brushing her fingers through her hair and braiding it into a simple plait, before she put her hat back on.

"Morning" she said to the two sitting at the fire, and they greeted her back.  
"How’s your head doing?" she asked Sadie, who was sitting with her arms crossed as ever.  
"I’m fine" she shortly answered, and Leyla left it at that.  
"An’ how’s your shoulder doin’?" Arthur addressed to her.  
She suddenly felt her cheeks burning in the memory of the last night. Quickly keeping her composure up, she just nodded and said: "I’m okay, thank you."  
They finished their meal and prepared for leaving at the crack of dawn.

Looking around Leyla saw that the cabin was pretty messed up with garbage all around, and she wondered what Miss Grimshaw would have to say about this.  
"We might search the place, just in case there’s anything useful around" Arthur pointed out.  
They rummaged between the wooden crates and found some canned food and a money clip.  
It wasn’t that much, but everything would do for their purpose.  
Leyla already thought that there was nothing more to find, when she spotted something underneath the makeshift bed where Sadie had been sleeping.  
She knelt down and reached out for it, the object being heavier than she expected.

"Arthur, look" she said over her shoulder and pulled out a lockbox.  
He bent down beside her, drawing his knife to open it up.  
She curiously came closer to peer inside, wondering what the box might hold since Sadie had found her precious jewelry back in her house.  
With a frown on her face she recognized two bottles with tonic, some ammunition, another money clip and a rolled up paper.  
Arthur hummed at the sight and opened it, carefully examining its content.  
"What is it?" Leyla asked, trying to get a closer look.  
He shifted a little to give her a better view, and she saw some strange sketches on it.  
They were of course nothing like the artistic drawings in Arthur’s journal, but they still seemed to mean something.  
It was a rock carved like a face, and some trees with arrows pointing around them.  
"I guess it’s a treasure map" he finally said, turning the paper to make sure that there was nothing written on the back.  
She lifted her eyebrows with surprise and thought about it for a moment.  
She knew from her studies that back in the day people did in fact hide their valuables sometimes, for especially in rural areas banks were not that safe, and they also charged fees for their services.  
So maybe this was something at least.

"Do you recognize any of these drawings?" she asked him, wondering about the odd location.  
"No, but I guess we’ll take care of this when we’re out of these mountains. Maybe Hosea knows where to find them" he answered and tucked the map away.  
"By the way, where is he?" she asked when she got up to her feet.  
"We were down at Cattail Pond, just as he said. I decided to take my horse and meet you two halfway up, but I couldn’t find you, so I started to search the area. I think we’ll make it down there ’til midday, for we have three horses now" he said and went outside with her.  
"Hey, I need some help with the wagon" Sadie called, and Leyla suddenly remembered why there were here in the first place.  
Arthur clenched his jaw at the sight, but he went over to her wordlessly and tied the wagon to Hera.  
Leyla took the rains of the abandoned horse. It was a stallion, a Flaxen Chestnut Morgan that was clearly underfed for she could see the ribs against its dull fur.  
"There, there boy. Let’s get you out of here" she whispered while stroking his mane, and he accepted her on her saddle when she mounted.

Making their way down the snowy mountains, they could feel the temperature rise with every mile they left behind.  
Soon they could spot game between the now denser forest, following a river down to the lake while the snow vanished with the upcoming sun.  
Just as Arthur expected, they arrived at late midday, and Leyla recognized a wagon standing a little aside of the lake.  
It was quite a peaceful sight, the sun reflecting on the unruly surface of the lake surrounded by mossy green and trees, with the distant snowy mountains in the background.  
Leyla took a deep breath and savored her surroundings, feeling relieved to be out of the cold again.

"Ah, there you are! I was starting to worry a little about you" Hosea called when he spotted them, sitting by a campfire.  
"Well, you had every reason to worry, for the ladies got themselves in quite some trouble" Arthur roared, and Leyla heard Sadie snort at him.  
When Hosea stepped closer he made out the bearskin on Arthur’s horseback, and his brows arched up.  
"A grizzly bear? Is one of you injured?" he asked with concern, looking over to the two women.  
"Nah" came a long drawn sound from Arthur, and he gave her a look from under the brim of his hat.  
"Miss Coleman here again proved that there’s more to her than meets the eye."  
Hosea turned his head in disbelief, and she hurried to dismount from her horse.  
"Don’t even ask, Mister Matthews" she said dryly, but couldn’t fight a grin on her face.

After they had watered the horses, they sat down to enjoy some fish Hosea caught from the lake and told him what happened up in the mountains.  
"My Lord" he chuckled and shook his head, "you’re really a handful."  
Leyla decided to take it as a compliment, and didn’t respond to it any further.  
She was indeed a little proud of herself, although she knew that it was just luck that the weapon dropped when Hera had reared up. And if Arthur hadn’t handed her the rifle in the first place, they both would have been doomed.  
But still she had managed to protect herself and Sadie, and that was all that counted.  
"It’s nice here" Sadie said out of nowhere, and Leyla turned to see her looking over the scenery.  
"I think it’s a good place to... to bury him" she finally said.  
She looked back to the small wagon and felt a lump in her throat. The body of Jake Adler had been frozen back in the Grizzlies, but now it wouldn’t withstand the warmth for much longer.  
Leyla nodded and asked Hosea: "Do you have a shovel in that wagon?"

 

First, Sadie refused to let anybody help her, but Leyla soon convinced her that it was for the better if they would dig the grave together.  
They found a good spot in front of a large rock, and Arthur did most of the work for he was the strongest.  
Hosea was carving wood to use as a cross, and Leyla carried some larger pebbles from the shoreline.  
When Arthur was done, they used a rope to let the body down without uncovering it from the sheet.  
All four stood in front of the grave, their heads bent down and their hands locked in front of them. It was very quiet.

"We came out here from the city in search of a different life. Something true, something... real" Sadie said quietly, and no one dared to look at her.  
"All this squandering and indulgence, we wanted to strip it away to find something authentic." Her voice cracked and she sobbed.  
"I won’t back down, Jakey, you know I won’t. I’m gonna do this for you. Just wait for me, darlin’. One day I’ll see your face again."  
Leyla couldn’t suppress her tears any longer, for it hurt her so much to see her friend grieve for her deceased husband.  
She watched her taking a handful of soil and throwing it into the grave.  
The others followed her, and then they filled the space up again. Leyla placed the stones around it and Hosea took the wooden cross to put it into the soil.  
They left Sadie alone for a while, for she had sat down next to the grave, staring at it with empty eyes.

It was already getting dark, and they had to stay another night before they could make their way to the new camp, so Leyla, Arthur and Hosea sat around the fire.  
They remained silent until Hosea began to speak: "You know, since Bessie was... taken from me, I miss her every day. She’s what I think about when I wake up. And what I’m still thinking about when I go to sleep."  
Leyla looked up to him in surprise. She didn’t know that he was married before.  
He didn’t lift his gaze, just stared into the flames.  
"Confuses me... confuses me, no end. How a wretched sinner like me could be given someone so perfect, so beautiful to take care of for once in my wretched life do my best. And then she dies... and I live on. Well, at least for now. She’s been gone many years, all them years I’ve been given and she was not, and we’re expected to believe in judgement? What kind of judge would... save me and take her? A foolish one. I can’t respect any more than I can respect myself. I miss her so!"  
He gulped and pursed his lips, shaking his head over the sentiment.  
"Forgive me for being so maudlin, but... it’s a fact. I know we all of us seen more death than life these past few months but, well. Sometimes the unfairness of it all confuses me."

"Did you two ever think about getting out of the life?" Arthur asked, and Leyla frowned.  
"We did briefly, you don’t remember? Guess you were still young. Didn’t last long, I drifted back into it. She understood... she knew what I was" Hosea answered, and then he gave Leyla a thoughtful look.  
Before she could say anything she heard Arthur say: "I remember you not being around for a while, but things were looser back then."  
Hosea nodded musingly. "Truth is, there’s never any really getting out, and staying in... it’s hard, you know that. But Bessie and I made it work. Why, you thinking about getting out?"  
Arthur lifted his head and raised an eyebrow before he said: "Me? No, of course not."  
The older man sighed. "Listen, if Dutch’s grand plans work, and we can make enough money to go some place new, really new, maybe we can all have a new start."  
Leyla swallowed and felt the heavy burden on her again. She had managed to keep the gang from robbing Cornwall, now she had to keep Arthur from getting ill, and then she would think about how to bounties off their heads.

"Anyway, for now let’s just keep our heads down and try to survive" Hosea finally said and got up from his seat.  
"I’ll go looking for Mrs. Adler, she’ll catch a cold if she sits there any longer."  
When he went away Leyla felt a heavy silence over her and Arthur, but she didn’t know what to say first.  
"All this pain... I sometimes wonder if it’s worth it" he eventually said, more to himself than to her.  
"It’s the only thing that’s worth it" Leyla said without thinking.  
He turned his head and looked at her with sudden interest, his eyes searching hers. She held his gaze, but before he could open his mouth Hosea and Sadie came back to the fire, and the moment was gone.  
They had dinner and talked about the treasure map, but Hosea wasn’t sure if he had seen the location before. He suggested asking Charles about it and sent him for scouting the area.

Although the snow was gone, it was still cold during the night and Leyla had some trouble with sleeping outside.  
She almost felt relieved when she saw the first light of the morning and got up early.  
She used her time to clean herself a little at the lake, and when she got back the others were already on their feet.  
After a short breakfast they made their way to Horseshoe Overlook, the women on their horses and the men on the wagon.  
The landscape was now familiar to Leyla who had seen the camp before, and it made her a little more confident.  
They had to pass the shallow water of a river and almost lost one wheel of the wagon, but Arthur managed to get it out without any damage.

Hosea told him about the area they were heading to and was preparing something in a mortar.  
"What are you working on there Mister Matthews?" Leyla asked him when she rode to his side.  
"Just some yarrow and ginseng, good for the health. Better than the stuff you buy in the store" he answered.  
Putting the bowl aside, he grabbed into his coat and drew out a small book that he handed to her.  
"Here, you can have this. I’m at the point where I can do it with my eyes closed" he said.  
Leyla took it and read the title, it was about local plants and their uses.  
"Why, thank you Mister Matthews, really appreciate that!" she said and smiled.  
"It’s Hosea if you like, and you’re welcome" he answered, curving his lips.

"I once tried to give it to our blockheaded driver here, but he’s not interested in something serious practical" he mocked Arthur.  
Leyla tried to conceal her laughter with a cough, but Arthur shot a not very amused look to her and Hosea.  
"Never forget, this here is a conman, Leyla, born and bred. Just ’cause it sounds fancy doesn’t mean he knows a damn thing about what he’s talking about."  
His words were harsh, but when Hosea snickered at them, she knew that they were just teasing each other.  
"Now, I don’t see any reason why you two should defame yourselves like this, since you’re both such fine men" she grinned and gave them a wink.  
Hosea huffed and nudged Arthur. "Guess you’ve never been told something like that before, did you?"  
"Oh, shut up old man" Arthur grumbled, and Leyla spurred her horse with laughter.

Eventually they entered the camp and Hosea said: "Here we are, ladies and gentlemen, Home sweet Home."  
As soon as they dismounted Dutch came to welcome them. "You weren’t wrong Hosea, this place is perfect!"  
"I hope so..." he murmured, and Leyla watched them from aside.  
"Gentlemen, we have survived. Now it is time to prosper!" Dutch’s roaring voice filled the camp.  
"Arthur and I were about to prosper in Blackwater" Hosea turned to him with his lips firmly pressed together.  
"We were on to something big, then Micah got you all excited about that ferry and here we are" he said sourly.  
"We have all made mistakes over the years, Hosea, every last one of us" Dutch answered quietly and stepped closer, somehow hovering over the other man.  
They stared at each other for a moment, then the gang leader turned on his heels and went away.

Hosea shook his head, and he looked very old Leyla thought.  
He hurried to keep up with Dutch and said: "I guess I’m just worried, I ain’t got that long, Dutch. I want folks safe before I go."  
Dutch turned to him and said: "Me too!"  
"And now we are stuck, east of the Grizzlies and out of money, and a long way from our dream of virgin land in the west!" Hosea complained.  
"I know!" Dutch’s voice was grumbling. "I know my brother, but we are safe!"  
Hosea sighed and dropped his head. "I hope so."  
"Would you just look around you? This world has its consolations!" Dutch spread his arms and pointed to the beautiful sunset in front of them.  
Leyla rolled her eyes and shook her head at the sight. He _was_ a silver tongued maniac.  
"Gentlemen, I’m going to head into the local town and, you know... see if I can strike up a little business" Strauss suddenly approached them from behind.  
She felt herself stiffen at the words and clenched her hands into fists.  
"Of course Herr Strauss" Dutch raised a brow at him.  
"I prefer robbing banks to usury, seems more dignified somehow" Arthur added dryly, but Dutch ignored him.

"Now everyone put your tools down for a moment, come on gather round! Quickly now" Dutch boomed and the other gang members came together.  
"I know that things have been tough, but we are safe now, and we are far too poor. So it is time for everyone to get to work."  
_Hear hear_ , she thought, _such words coming from somebody with a big cigar in his hand_.  
"Get to work but stay out of trouble" Hosea added. "Remember, we are itinerant workers-"  
"Laid off when they shut down or factory to the north" Dutch cut him short.  
"Now get out there, and see what you can find. Uncle, Reverend Swanson, no more passengers!" The girls snickered at that.  
"It is time for everyone to earn their keep."  
"There’s a town a little way down the track name of Valentine... livestock town, all mud and morons if I remember right. That seems a decent place to start" Hosea spoke again.  
"And ah... we need food... real food. That means everyday one of you" Pearson added and looked around.  
"And remember: whatever it is that you find, the camp gets its slice" Dutch said and patted on the wooden donation box.  
"Now, be sensible out there."

The people went back to their work, and Leyla found herself standing alone and somehow lost when Grimshaw approached Arthur.  
"Now, the girls got your tent ready Mister Morgan, come with me. You will be ready shortly, Mister Matthews" she said.  
Arthur nodded and turned to leave, when Miss Grimshaw eyed her and Sadie from head to toe.  
"As for you two, I expect you to work here just as everyone else does" she sneered, and Leyla felt her face heat with anger.  
She wasn’t lazy back in Colter, she was helping as good as she could. And Sadie did just the same, even if there were days when she didn’t get up because of her sorrow.  
Before she could bite back Arthur said: "I’m sure everything will be fine, Miss Grimshaw. The ladies were busy with Mister Matthews and me."  
The older woman nodded and went away, and Leyla could hear her shouting at poor Tilly: "Miss Jackson, I’ve seen shit with more common sense than you! Do it properly!"

"Guess we have to get you some supplies tomorrow" Arthur said and handed a money clip to Leyla and Sadie.  
"But-" Leyla tried to contradict, but Arthur lifted his hand.  
"You found the cabin, it’s yours. Just remember the donation box."  
She nodded, and he left the two to get to his tent.  
They spent the remaining day with the horses, brushing them and getting hay to feed them.  
Both of them were pretty exhausted, so they decided to get to bed early and get some sleep.

The next day began far more like the ones she was used to when she was at the camp for the first time: there was coffee and stew for breakfast, and the sun was warming up the place quickly.  
"Are you ready, ladies?" Arthur called, and they could see him standing at the camp entrance, already preparing a wagon.  
He had changed his winter outfit for some dark town pants and a light brown scout jacket.  
"Morning" Leyla greeted him, and before she could say anything Sadie climbed up to the loading area, leaving it to her to sit on the coach box with Arthur.  
She had hardly uttered a word since the funeral of her husband, and Leyla couldn’t blame her.  
"Hey Arthur, when do you take us other ladies to town?" Karen called.  
Leyla turned and smiled at her, her hands planted on her hips and her lips pursed with playful seriousness.  
"I’ll do, Karen, I promise" he answered, the reins already in his hand.  
"I’ll have your word!" she called and turned away again.  
"You better keep it, or the Lord may have mercy on your soul" Leyla snickered at him.  
"Guess you’re right" he said, his voice rumbling with amusement.

Arthur drove them to the General Store and bought some food for the camp before he left them to get a tent and some clothes.  
During their ride Leyla was sweating under her woolen dress, already leaving her coat back at the camp.  
She decided to take a nice green cotton skirt with a simple floral pattern on it and a white blouse with some ruffles on the front.  
Although she felt a little embarrassed about it, she also had to get some underwear, for the long johns were just a temporary solution.  
So she took a chemise and some drawers - _I_ _definitely_ _have_ _to_ _sew_ _them_ , she thought.  
As an option to her warm coat she also took a maroon colored shawl to drape across her shoulders.  
When she got into the dressing room and saw herself in the mirror, she covered her mouth with her hand, almost laughing at the picture.  
She was officially a mess: her braided hair was unruly and almost filthy, and she lost a visible amount of weight during the last few weeks.  
But so did the others, she reminded herself. It had been tough for everybody, and there had been no space for vanity.

Sadie had to get new clothes too, since she had lost all her possessions during the fire. But she chose mostly men’s clothing like brown leather pants and heavy boots.  
She still looked adorable with her slender figure and her long, blonde hair, but the store owner watched her with unconcealed disapproval.  
"Get yourself something nice, I’ll take this to pay the rest" she said to Leyla and showed her the necklace of her mother.  
"Sadie, no! You have to keep it!" she tried to convince her, but Sadie just shook her head.  
"It ain’t of any use for me now, and you did more for me than you had to. Please" she insisted when Leyla opened her mouth to speak.  
"Please, let me do it, okay?"  
Leyla swallowed thickly, but nodded, unsure of what to think about that.  
Sadie still had to force her into choosing more clothes than she needed right now, and she also got them both a good tent with a nice bedding.  
When they got out to stow their purchases, Arthur raised an eyebrow at them but didn’t comment it any further.

Before they got up on the wagon again, Leyla turned her head to the hotel and said: "Do we still have time to take a bath?"  
Arthur shrugged and answered: "Sure."  
"I’ll wait outside" Sadie said and climbed back on the load space.  
Leyla was sure she could need a bath too, but she didn’t push her.  
So she and Arthur went inside and paid the owner, who of course didn’t recognize Leyla for he hadn’t actually met her yet.  
They thanked him and went over to the bathrooms. With each of their hands around their doorknobs, they suddenly looked at each other.  
"If you, ah... need anything, just... I mean" Arthur stammered and his face flushed.  
Leyla dropped her gaze and nodded without waiting for him to go any further.  
"Thank you" she said and went inside, closing the door behind her.  
She leaned her back against it for a moment, feeling her pulse rising and a heat spreading through her belly.  
_Okay now, just cool down, he just meant that you’re injured_ , she thought referring to her bruised shoulder.  
He was right in the room next to her, and due to the thin walls she could hear him rumble with probably dropping his boots and his satchel.  
She gulped and shook her head to chase away the inappropriate thoughts, taking off her clothes to get into the tub.

It took her a while to get rid of all the layers of clothing, and she felt relieved when she finally put down the long johns.  
Her skin was itching from the long abstinence of a proper bath, and when she got herself inside the warm tub, she couldn’t suppress a deep sigh.  
When Leyla suddenly became aware that of course Arthur could hear her too, she covered her mouth with her hand and tried not to curse.  
The water had just the right temperature and smelled like lavender.  
She closed her eyes and relaxed, letting her thoughts drift into unconsciousness.  
Feeling safe and warm for the first time in weeks made her body go limp and forget her about the world outside for a moment.  
Suddenly she heard a knock and opened her eyes in a brief shock.  
"Would you like any assistance?" a female voice called, and Leyla figured that it came from Arthur’s door.  
For less than a heartbeat she felt a sting in her chest, as if something was gnawing on her.  
Then she heard Arthur grumble: "Nah, I’m good", and she felt goosebumps over her entire body.  
"Alright, help yourself then" the woman said, and Leyla could hear her heels clicking on the wooden floor as she went away.

Of course the lady wouldn’t knock on Leyla’s door, sexism was just a period-typical thing at that time.  
But on the other hand she felt strangely relieved that Arthur didn’t let her in.  
Had he decided differently if she hadn’t been right next to him?  
Leyla closed her eyes again and tried to block out these questions, but she soon felt that it wasn’t that easy.

She heard water dripping and couldn’t help but imagine Arthur washing himself in the tub.  
Before she even knew him and was only reading his journal, she had felt a strange kind of affection - to a man who was long dead.  
When she saw him for the first time in Beaver Hollow he was weak and vulnerable, and she wanted to help him.  
She clearly remembered the day they went fishing with Jack, when they stumbled over each other, and he had looked at her with an expression she couldn’t name.  
And finally, up in Colter he had given her security and comfort, but it wasn’t just that. They were like friends, hunting and talking with each other and having fun.  
He had been worried about her, just as she was concerned about him every time he had left the camp.  
And now, that the tension of their situation had released a little, it wasn’t just the safety or the camaraderie she was seeking.

Instead, it was -

His sea-green eyes that kind of changed their color, depending on the lighting.  
The scars on his chin, hidden under his beard most of the times.  
His low chuckle and his raspy voice when he was speaking with his thick accent.  
The smell of tobacco, leather and musk.

Without even noticing it, her hands reached down, and she gasped at the sensation.  
She hadn’t touched herself since she had been time-travelling, and now there was an ache deep inside of her that needed to be fulfilled.  
Her back arched up when she stroked her sensitive skin, exposing her breasts to the cold air that sent shivers down her spine.  
Leyla bit her lower lip to stifle any noise, imagining Arthur naked in his tub.  
He was so close, yet so far away, and the thought was incredibly thrilling to her.  
Her head snapped back to the rim of the tub when she finally came, breathing heavily.  
It felt releasing and the tension inside of her surely abated, and Leyla smiled with her eyes still closed.

Before the water got too cold, she hurried to wash her body and hair thoroughly.  
When she got back into her new clothes, her hair still a little damp but combed and in a loose french braid, and her cheeks a little blushed from the hot water, she felt like a new person.  
As if on purpose she stepped out of her room right in time with Arthur, who was just wearing his shirt with rolled up sleeves, his jacket hanging over his arm.  
He was sizing her up as if he had seen her for the first time, and cleared his throat before he spoke.  
"Feel better now?" Arthur tried to ask casually, and Leyla bit her cheek to keep herself from wearing a stupid grin.  
"Way better" she answered.


	16. Making Money

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> So finally here I am again! I know, I know... it's been a while, but I was on vacation and now I've got another chapter for y'all!  
> Sorry if this one is more like a plot-filler, but I already got the next one in progress and if everything goes well I can post it tomorrow.  
> Thank you for your patience, and hey - feel free to drop me a line, I'm always interested in what you think about this story!

It was in these first days in Horseshoe Overlook that Leyla truly recognized how beautiful the nature that surrounded her really was.  
Unlike in her century the nights were actually dark, not disturbed by too much artificial light, and when the sky was clear it was embroidered with stars.  
The moonlight weaved everything in pale silver, almost unearthly in its silent grace.  
Back in the mountains it was too cold and stormy to really enjoy the harsh beauty of the icy area, but here in the plains the eye of the observer was pleased with a lot of different shapes.

It was still chilly during the nights, but now Leyla had her own tent and wasn’t obliged to sleep on the ground with the other girls.  
Sadie had bought her a real nice one that was large enough for her to stand inside, and it held a makeshift bed with even a simple mattress.  
Of course it wasn’t as big as the one that Dutch and Molly shared, or as comfortable as a real bed, but it was way better than anything Leyla had been sleeping on in the last few weeks.  
She also had her own trunk to store her new clothing, and an empty barrel that she used as a table for her few belongings and an oil lamp.

The tent allowed her to have a certain degree of privacy, and for the first time in what seemed like an eternity she felt comfortable again.  
Not even the presence of Micah could weigh her bright mood down, for she wouldn’t make the same mistake again and let him catch her in a weak moment like she did in Colter.  
Besides, Micah was kept on a constant check by the others, and Leyla felt as if the incident back in their hideout had somehow turned the tables for him.  
Even Dutch didn’t send him out for scouting, despite his miserable attempts to butter him up.  
  
Sometimes she just needed to be for herself without having anybody around, and she thought that Sadie must experience quite a similar need.  
She still didn’t talk that much, but she also didn’t seem that lost and forlorn like when Leyla had met her for the first time.  
Her own space and the horse had given the widow the opportunity to be a little more independent. And whenever she felt annoyed by Miss Grimshaw or Pearson, she simply secluded herself and wasn’t forced into company.  
Leyla noticed with a smile that Sadie slowly befriended with Abigail, and they sat together to talk every now and then.  
The only thing that bothered her was the captured O’Driscoll Kieran Duffy, who had been tied to a post and left to suffer until he would talk.

Leyla felt sorry for the poor guy, for he was in a serious physical condition. The gang members were forbidden to give him any food other than the leftovers that Pearson served to him, and the uncomfortable position he was forced into wouldn’t help.  
It was a dangerous game when Leyla threw him a piece of bread whenever she was sure that nobody watched her, and she hoped that the pitiful man would make it through the test.  
One day she saw Sadie standing in front of him, staring him down with merciless eyes, her right hand twitching on the gun in her holster she had bought at the General Store.  
Leyla was alarmed, but before she could even say something, Sadie had turned on her heels and walked back to her tent.  
Leyla followed her, finding her crying on her bed.  
"Sadie? You okay?" she asked sheepishly.  
"They turned me into a monster, Leyla" Sadie answered, her voice thick with tears.  
Leyla didn‘t need to ask who she was talking about. Sadie still felt the urge to avenge the death of her husband, but at the same time a part of her knew that it wouldn‘t do any good.

Standing at the entrance of the tent, Leyla was unsure of what to say or to do, so she simply waited.  
"But my memories of my Jakey... they still pure." Sadie sniffled, wiping her nose with her sleeve.  
"I think I need to be alone for a bit" she finally said.  
"I understand. But if you need something... just tell me, okay?" Leyla gently rubbed her arm and went outside, knowing that you sometimes needed to be alone with you pain, so the wounds in your heart could heal.

 

Most of the following evenings Leyla sat at the fire with a few others, having dinner, talking and sometimes playing Javier’s guitar.  
The gang especially enjoyed a few other songs by Marty Robbins, Hank Williams and Doc Watson that she could play.  
But despite the new optimistic mood that everybody shared, some things had been left unsolved.  
Sean MacGuire and Josiah Trelawny as well as some other members were still missing, some of them already killed as Leyla knew from her former time-travel.  
Leyla knew from Arthur‘s journal that eventually Trelawney would come back and lead them to the Blackwater prison, so it was only a matter of time.  
Nevertheless the Pinkertons were still after them because of Blackwater, and Colm O’Driscoll remained a threat to Dutch just as ever.

One morning after Leyla got up and performed her morning ablutions, she went outside and found Arthur just leaving his tent.  
His hair was a little disarranged, a stubbly beard covering his face, and she couldn’t help but find his appearance cute somehow.  
They hadn't spent much time together since their arrival at the new camp, so she was happy to see him.  
She smiled and said: "Mornin’ to you, Arthur" her voice still a little husky from her sleep.  
"Mornin’" he replied, rubbing his neck with one hand, his mouth curving into a grin.  
"How about I’ll fetch us some coffee?" he asked roughly, but before she could answer, Hosea appeared with two steaming metal cups in his hand, a large smile on his face.  
"Thank you, Hosea, how are you?" Leyla asked when he handed her one of them and gave the other to Arthur who just nodded at his friend.  
"Quite a day!" Hosea beamed, spreading his arms towards the clear blue sky.

It was a mild and sunny morning, so she took a deep breath savoring the smell of coffee and fresh air.  
"Let’s hope so" Arthur grumbled, taking a sip from his cup.  
Hosea turned to him and said: "Bill and Javier are already in Valentine, see if they can make some money at the saloon. They’ve always been quite some grifters, so I guess they’ll get along."  
Arthur stretched out and yawned, and Leyla tried not to stare at the broad chest under his shirt.  
"And Strauss came back with that creepy little smile on his face, I’m sure there’s a whole list of unfortunates he’s forced money upon" Hosea went on.  
She shivered at the thought.

"I think we should send Charles for that treasure map you found, maybe we’re lucky and he’ll find something."  
Arthur nodded, scratching his chin with his thumb. "Now, I’m not sure if it’s safe for him to go alone" he considered after a while.  
"Why don’t you let Sadie go with him?" Leyla blurted out.  
The two men looked at her flabbergasted, and she had to bite her cheeks not to laugh at their expression.  
"She has her own horse, and she’s pretty much able to hunt and to fight if it’s necessary. Besides... I think it would do her good if she could spent some time outside the camp."  
Hosea slowly nodded. "Well, why not? I guess there’s no holding her back anyways" he finally said with a shrug, turning back to his tent.  
"You could try, but I wouldn’t recommend doing so" Leyla murmured, and Arthur chuckled in his cup.

"Now, what about you? Wanna go hunting?" Hosea said while he came back with a huge rifle in his hands.  
Arthur’s eyebrows flew up at the sight. He set his coffee down and grabbed the weapon with a surprised expression, examining it carefully.  
"What are you hunting, an elephant?" he said unbelieving.  
The older man snickered and replied: "I wish. No, I heard about a huge bear up in the Grizzlies East, it’s said to be nearly a thousand pounds."  
"My God... what, you need me to come with you?" Arthur asked.  
Hosea looked up at him with a somewhat weary smile. "You know what Arthur Morgan, I’m a little old and beaten up to be after the biggest game. You can have this" he said and handed him a piece of paper.  
"What is it?" Arthur asked, and Leyla stepped nearer to take a look at it.  
It said 'Legendary Animals' in big bold letters.  
"It’s a map. A man in a bar gave it to me... well, I stole it from him, but that’s another story" Hosea gave Leyla a wink and she couldn’t help but like the old man.  
"He said it told him where to find some real big animals. You can get a good price for the fur and the meat."  
"Thank you" Arthur said, and smiled at his friend.

"It’s a pleasure. Besides, I thought you could make yourself a bit useful" Hosea mocked, playfully cuffing him, and then he turned to Leyla.  
"Miss Coleman - Leyla, since you proved to be very talented in taming wild horses and shooting big game, why don’t you go with him?"  
Leyla was looking at him startled, finding a rather mischievous glint in his friendly eyes. What was he up to...?  
"We always have a use for good horses, and we might sell them to the local stables. They usually pay more if you got papers of course, but maybe I can find a solution for that" he said reasonably.  
Leyla swallowed, wrapping her thoughts around the thought.  
Getting out of the camp to spend a few days hunting with Arthur? Sounded quite tempting to her...  
She turned to Arthur who was eyeing her expectantly, but he didn’t contradict.  
"Now I’m for it, it’s always nice to be in charge of something else than doing the laundry and chopping vegetables" she finally said, giving him a challenging look.  
The corner of Arthur’s mouth twitched with amusement.  
"Great!" Hosea said and clapped his hands with glee.

"And you?" Arthur asked the older man, his eyebrow raised with mockery.  
Hosea cocked his head, closing his eyes for a moment before he answered: "I’m gonna read a book."  
And with that he turned and went back to his tent, leaving Leyla and Arthur chuckling over his nonchalance.  
Suddenly they both went quiet, and she felt him watching her carefully, his hands placed on his hips as usual.  
He cleared his throat before he hesitantly asked her: "You sure you wanna do this?"  
Leyla grinned, reaching her free hand out to reassuringly squeeze his arm. "Totally sure."  
Arthur grinned, nodding his head, and when he spoke she felt something quiver inside of her: "Good, then let’s get our things together."

They walked back to their tents when Dutch’s thick purring voice wavered to them: "Oh, Arthur my boy! My dear boy! And Miss Coleman, good to see you!"  
Arthur frowned a little at his obviously unexpected exclamation and turned to him.  
"What’s going on?" he said a little reserved.  
"Nothing, nothing at all!" the gang leader smiled exuberantly and nodded towards Leyla.  
"For the first time in weeks... nothing. We’re free! We’re free to plan our own futures once more" he said, stroking his mustache with a delightful smugness.  
"I hope so, Dutch" Arthur said, unaware that he repeated his words earlier while he watching his foster father with a mixture of doubt and affection.  
"You kept the faith, Arthur. You always kept it." Dutch patted his shoulder and went back to his tent.  
"And I ain’t losing it now" Arthur called after him and sighed when he was out of earshot.

Their relationship seemed to be a little closer again, but Leyla could still sense the tension between Arthur and Dutch.  
It hadn’t been easy for both of them, and trust was known to be a fragile thing.  
She hoped that in time they would be able to find the former bond that kept them together again, thinking about how heartbroken Arthur was when they fell apart piece by piece.  
Shaking her head to chase away those unhappy thoughts, she made her way through the camp, suddenly walking into John who was looking at her with an irritable expression.

"Mister Marston, it’s good to see you back on your feet" Leyla said smiling at him.  
The marks on his scarred face were still bright red, but the wound had healed very good after they came down from the mountains.  
Since his leg was still a little stiff, he wasn’t able join the other men at hunting and scouting, and it seemed to annoy him.  
"I’d rather be back on my feet than being as useless as Uncle with this goddamn leg" he muttered, scratching the bandaging with dismay.  
She suppressed the urge to give him an annoyed smile. Gosh, this guy was really too damn concerned with his self-pity.  
That was probably one of those things that Arthur and him had in common, but unlike John he would get his butt up and try to be a useful part of the gang.  
John wasn’t even able to care for his own family, he was just seeing himself.  
  
Leyla gathered herself and said: "Nobody’s blaming you, Mister Marston. Besides, I think your son would be happy if his father could spend some time with him."  
He squinted his eyes, his cheeks flushed in anger.  
"You don’t know nothing about me and my son Miss, so you better stop putting your nose into things that don’t concern you" he hissed under his breath.  
Leyla remained unaffected by his outburst. "I know you well enough to tell that you’re ought to be a better man than you try to be."  
"It ain’t no secret I didn’t get these scars falling over in church." His voice dripped with sarcasm, but she crossed her arms in front of her chest and raised an eyebrow at him.  
"Is that so? Now, I think it’s time you reward your family with the attention they deserve instead of weeping over yourself like some wretched old sinner."

She left him standing agape at her boldness, making her way to her tent with angry large steps.  
When she looked around she saw Abigail watching her with interest, and gave her a resolute grin that the older woman returned.  
Leyla swore to herself that she would spend some time with the boy Jack as soon as she was back in camp from her hunting trip.  
But for now she felt an expectant tingling in her stomach thinking about the next few days, and she couldn’t fight a stupid smirk on her face while she was packing her things.

Before she went outside she changed her clothes, taking off her cotton dress that she had been wearing lately and trading it for some work pants and a blouse.  
Since they would be on horseback for the next days she didn’t want to chafe her thighs on the saddle.  
Although it was warm, she still took her coat and a hat with her, since she wasn’t sure where exactly they were about to go.  
Arthur was eyeing her a little quizzically, but he didn’t say anything about her appearance.

When they had stowed the supplies on their horses, she could see Hosea talking to Charles, probably telling him about the treasure map.  
Charles was a gentle, yet brave man, and if there was anybody in this camp who would be able to handle Sadie it was him, Leyla thought.  
She got up in the saddle and turned her head to Arthur: "You ready?"  
He nodded. "Sure, let’s go."


	17. Emerald Ranch

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> Okay, so this one goes out to all the horse freaks amongst you: I'm sorry if there's anything totally wrong with this, if you have any constructive advice I'll gladly take it!  
> And the rest of us being totally fine with a game where you just pat a wild horse twice and then ride it no problem: here you go (;

"So, where exactly are we going?" Leyla asked when she and Arthur went out of camp.  
"We're heading east a little, right through the Heartlands and then to a place called Emerald Ranch, see if we can find a place to sleep there. Then we go up north into the mountains to find that bear Hosea talked about" Arthur answered.  
The Tennessee Walker he got from Colter kept a nice, steady pace so that Leyla's Morgan, the abandoned horse from Cairn Lake, could keep up.  
She turned her head to see that Arthur was wearing a slight frown on his face.  
He had changed his clothes too, wearing some dark, rough working pants and a light brown waxed cotton jacket, and of course his trademark hat.  
"You don't think that there actually is a bear?" she said, more a conclusion than a question.

He gave her a short look and pursed his lips before he rumbled: "A map with the location of some 'legendary animals' stolen from a feller in a bar? I highly doubt that there's anything 'bout it, but we'll see."  
She shrugged, focusing the road in front of her when she felt Arthur's eyes on her sizing her up.  
"What?" she said quickly turning her gaze to him before he could hide his stare, raising an eyebrow at him.  
A faint blush on his cheeks appeared before he stammered: "Sorry, I... it's a little... unusual to see you like this."  
"Like what?" Leyla tilted her head questioningly, but smiled over his obvious embarrassment.  
He gestured vaguely at her, quickly looking at her legs and his blush deepened a little.  
"I've only seen Mrs. Adler wearing... ah, men's clothing? It's quite a little... confusing" he finally said.

Leyla chuckled, although she was aware that a woman in pants was indeed a very uncommon thing considering the time, but she didn't feel ashamed about it.  
Arthur already had been perplexed with her jeans when she had been time-traveling to Beaver Hollow and Horseshoe Overlook before.  
Of course, technically these things had never happened, but she clearly remembered his concern about her clothes when he saw her for the first time, considering one of those Murfree Brood guys might have violated her.  
"Well, you see, it's way more comfortable to ride in pants than in a skirt" she explained, but that didn't help to soothe his flushed face.  
She laughed at his helpless expression and hurried to say: "The saddle, it's chafing the legs."  
Arthur nodded, clearing his throat while he was pulling his hat a little deeper into his face.  
"I see."

"Besides, I think Sadie has her own reasons to wear them" Leyla mused, trying to get the conversation into another direction.  
"Mhm, guess so. She might be the craziest one of all of us" Arthur answered, seeming to get a little more comfortable.  
She chuckled because she knew that somehow he was right after all.  
"I mean, Mrs. Adler is a fine woman, but sometimes she frightens the hell out of me. I ever get on her wrong side, and I am a dead man!"  
Leyla burst into laughter, hearing Arthur's deep chuckle next to her, until she was holding her belly.

They made their way through the open grassland, the sky above them dotted with some clouds but still sunny enough to warm them up.  
Passing a remarkable formation called Twin Stack Pass they found an abandoned wagon with some supplies and even a piece of jewelry.  
Leyla didn't ask herself what might happened to the previous owner. This was the Wild West at least, so finders keepers.  
As the sun was slowly setting Leyla could spot some ranch houses in the distance, so she assumed that this would be their destination for tonight.  
The spot literally consisted of some paddocks where sheep, cattle and chicken were held, there wasn't much more about it.  
  
There was a little shelter where an unkempt, middle aged man was rummaging between some boxes, looking up to them curiously.  
"How you doin'?" he said, and nodded in their direction.  
"Fine, Mister. We're looking for a place to sleep, you know if there's a hotel near?" Arthur asked and dismounted his horse while Leyla kept her distance.  
"Ah, we ain't got no hotel here, Sir. Next hotel's in Rhodes or Valentine" the man replied.  
Leyla didn't like the way he was looking at Arthur, it reminded her of a snake looking for dinner.  
His stained overall and the greasy hair made him an odd sight.  
"Alright, thank you then" Arthur said and turned, when the guy suddenly added: "But maybe you need some supplies?"

Arthur turned around, a slight cease between his eyebrows when he answered: "Nah, we're good. Thanks."  
The man crossed his arms in front of his chest and shrugged.  
"Well, maybe you got somethin' to sell?" he asked with a smeary grin.  
"And what could that be?"  
He shrugged again. "It's worth buying, I'll buy it."  
Arthur kept staring at him for a moment, weighing if the stranger was a potential threat or not.  
"Like", Arthur growled and took out the jewelry they had found and showed it to him, "this?"

Leyla saw the man's eyes glisten, reaching out for the valuable before Arthur pulled his hand back.  
He clenched his jaw for a second before he showed his rotten teeth to him: "Mind if I take a look?"  
Finally, Arthur handed it to him and he examined it between his gloved hands.  
"Not bad, not bad. This supposed to be an heirloom, huh?"  
He handed him a money clip and said: "Take it or leave it."  
Arthur nodded and said: "Good doin' business with you."  
"Come back any time you want" the fence vendor replied while Arthur got back on his horse.

"Now, that was kind of strange" Leyla mumbled to him when they were out of earshot.  
"You're right, but there won't be any questions about that loot" Arthur said, and she couldn't disagree.  
Before they came any farther, another stranger suddenly appeared on the small road between the paddocks.  
He cried for help, his breath panting while he was frantically waving his arms.  
"Help, please anybody! My horse..." he said, but the few farmers Leyla could spot just watched him languidly.  
Then he spotted Arthur and Leyla: "Hey, you there! Please, my horse!"  
"Okay, Mister, easy. What's wrong with your horse?" Arthur tried to calm him.  
"I - it's - it's a mare and I think she's foaling, but... I don't know what's wrong, I'm afraid the foal is stuck or something" he said, pulling his hair in agony.

Leyla stiffened in her saddle, and before Arthur could answer him she said: "Where is it?"  
She could see the man's shoulders drop with relief as he turned around and pointed to one of the barns where the cattle were held.  
When they followed him she heard Arthur swearing under his breath, but she ignored it.  
They tied their horses in front of the building and went inside where a beautiful Bay Roan Ardennes was lying down in her box.  
The mare turned her head towards the intruders, her eyes going wide when she caught sight of the strangers.  
"Shh, easy girl, you're okay" Leyla crooned and slowly approached the horse.  
The straw right beneath it was already soaked with waters, and Leyla could spot some dung next to it.  
The mare was clearly in labor, but when Leyla carefully examined her and spotted the foal's hooves that were already visible, she soon found where the problem was.

Usually foaling difficulties were very rare, as she knew from working on uncle Charles' ranch.  
But sometimes he had to call a veterinary to help if complications occurred, because there was just a narrow time frame to save both mare and foal.  
She quickly rose to her feet and faced the owner and Arthur who were still standing at the entrance of the box.  
"The foal is in the wrong position" she explained. "We need a rope to pull it out."  
Arthur rolled his eyes and pinched his nose muttering.  
The owner looked at her with a blank expression, his body frozen with panic.  
Leyla frowned and said: "Now! Come on, hurry or you'll lose the foal and the mare! I'll need some hot water and cloths, too."  
Rising from his stupor, the man nodded and frantically ran outside to fetch the requested material, while Leyla tried to calm the horse.

It wasn't long until the owner came back, and Leyla instructed the two men about what to do.  
"So we have to tie this around the foal's ankles, and when the mother induces labor you both need to pull. Understand?"  
They both nodded and got themselves ready after she fastened the rope.  
"Alright, you just pull when I tell you to, you hear me? Otherwise you'll hurt her. Now, go!" she commanded when she felt the mare's body tighten.  
The men struggled but did as she commanded, and soon the front legs came in sight.  
Leyla put a cloth over the horse's belly and poured some of the hot water over it to support the birth process.  
"Okay, okay let go now" she said, giving them a sign to stop.  
Arthur gave a frustrated growl and muttered: "How come you own horses but have no idea how to treat them?"

The owner gave him an apologizing look and answered: "I only deal with horses, I don't breed them. When I got this mare I wasn't aware that she was pregnant."  
"Get yourselves ready guys, here comes the next one" Leyla intervened, and they both hissed and puffed when they gathered all their strength to pull.  
It wasn't long until the foal finally came out, and Leyla hurried to carefully rub it until it breathed properly, then she stepped aside and let the mother do her duty.  
All three humans were panting and sweating, but none of them could fight a smile at the heartwarming sight of the newborn stallion.  
"Thank you, I don't know what I had done without your help. I'm in your debt. Name's Rupert by the way" the owner said and shook first Leyla's and then Arthur's hand after they went outside and cleaned themselves.  
"You're welcome. I'm glad the little one made it" Leyla said and put her hat back on.  
"So, Rupert, what kinda horses you deal with?" Arthur asked casually.  
The stable owner swallowed and seemed to be a little uncomfortable, before he hesitantly answered: "Well, that... depends. I'm not on a particular breed, I like to be... diversified, you know."

Arthur nodded but squinted his eyes, and Leyla felt the mood swing between them.  
"Diversified... sure. Your horses got any papers?"  
Rupert blinked and nodded a little too enthusiastic at the question. "Of course they do!"  
Without further warning Arthur stepped up and caged him between his broad stature and the back of the barn.  
He hovered threateningly above him, and Leyla could literally see Rupert shrink in front of his powerful sight.  
"You know, it's not very polite to lie to somebody who just helped you" Arthur growled, his eyes cold and his hands clenched to fists.  
"I-I don't know wh-what you-"  
" _Don't you try'n play me, Rupert!_ "  
Arthur's booming voice made Leyla flinch, while the stable owner pressed himself to the wall behind him, his eyes wide with terror.  
Good Lord, he was terrifying sometimes!

"Okay, okay! I... the price for horses without papers is really low, you know? But... there are lots of fine wild horses, really rare ones, too! Sometimes I, I... f-fake the papers" he finally managed to say.  
An alarmingly friendly smile appeared on Arthur's  face.  
He took another step towards Rupert until they stood almost nose to nose, and Leyla saw the man tremble.  
"Alright, you see that's totally fine by me. We're very good at taming wild horses, but it's a shame we only get a few bucks for them, you know. So, what about if we make a little arrangement?"  
Rupert didn't answer, he just nodded.  
"We bring you some good horses on a regular basis, and you make us a good price, how does that sound?"  
"G-good! Sure, sure Mister! Ain't no problem with me!"  
Arthur stepped back and tipped his hat at the man before he said: "Fine. Have a nice evening then."

The man didn't move until Arthur and Leyla had mounted their horses and went out of the ranch, looking for a nearby place to pitch their tents.  
Although both of them felt quite exhausted after this unexpected incident, they decided to get some space between them and the odd settlement.  
Their day had been quite eventful again, so they didn't make a fuss about cooking and just had some canned food for dinner.  
Leyla kept thinking about Arthur's threatening behavior, and wasn't sure how it made her feel.  
She wasn't afraid of him, but the power he possessed was somewhat opposing to her: like a wild animal he was fascinating but dangerous at the same time.  
  
After they settled down by the fire she said: "You're quite... convincing, if you want to."  
Arthur chuckled, and that low, raspy sound stirred a warm feeling in her belly.  
"I know. But sometimes, you gotta be" he answered, and Leyla felt goosebumps at the memory of his intimidating behavior.  
Staring into the flames she knew that he was able to kill, but it was always to protect others from being harmed.  
Still - it was scary, yet a little exciting to see the violence he was capable of, even if it was just in pretense to get what he wanted.

Suddenly, his hand was above hers and she lifted her gaze to see his familiar eyes now all soft again, looking at her with concern.  
"You know I would never hurt you, right?" he said.

"I trust you far more than any man left on earth."

The reply came without hesitation, she didn't even think about the words before they were out.  
He chuckled, but his crooked smile somehow didn't fully reach his eyes when he spoke.  
"I know the company you keep, the competition ain’t too fierce."  
Leyla covered his hand with her own and squeezed it gently.  
"You're a good man, Arthur. That's all I need to know."

He sighed and said: "Not sure if that's true, but... I defend your rights to say it“ and was rewarded with a large smile.  
She chuckled when he yawned and covered his mouth with his free hand.  
"Oh brother, playin' midwife for a horse really messed me up."  
"You did a good job today, but now you should get some sleep" Leyla answered, before she just happened to yawn herself.

When they went to their tents later, she heard the familiar scraping of a pencil dancing over paper, and with a smile she drifted into slumber.


	18. Hamish Sinclair

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> Hands up, who else likes Hamish?  
> *frantically waves hand*

They headed north the next day, hunting down smaller game to get some fresh food.  
Arthur was showing her how to properly use the small rifle without hurting herself, and she quickly managed to pick up the lessons her uncle Charles had given her when she was younger.  
Since Leyla had studied the herbs book from Hosea, she was also able to detect some plants that were mentioned in there and gathered them.  
At first Arthur was shaking his head with mockery when he saw her attempts, but when she used some thyme and oregano to spice up the meat he appreciated the meals even more.

He was acting _different_ when he was with her.  
Most of the other gang members seemed to be merely more than acquaintances to him, he accepted them but that was pretty much the end of it.  
But when he was with her he wasn't acting as annoyed as he did when Abigail or Sadie were around.  
Of course, he did like them in his own way, she knew that, but something in their behavior just triggered him, and sooner or later he drawled one of his sarcastic comments.  
He wasn't mocking her, or at least not in that sometimes roasting way he did with the others, no matter if men or women.  
Arthur treated her with _respect_.

Being a loner occasionally, it was important to him to be given some free space just for himself, and she could relate to that.  
As comforting as the company of the group was, they sometimes just needed time on their own to collect their thoughts.  
But whenever she looked at him, he eventually smiled when he recognized her gaze, nodding at her.  
It was in the small things, like when they prepared their tents in silent agreement, sharing the work as natural as it could be.  
She never felt the silence tense when they sat together watching the sundown, or listening to the sounds of the night and the crackling fire.

On the second day they came across a large lake at the foot of the mountain.  
It was a beautiful sight, and they both decided to spend the night there before they tried to hunt down the legendary bear.  
They just dismounted their horses and Arthur went to gather some firewood, when she suddenly heard him swear savagely.  
She turned around and walked over to where he was standing behind a large rock.  
"You kiss your mother with that mouth?" she teased, but when she approached him she saw an old man leaned against the rock.  
He was wearing light beige leather clothes and a large canvas hat, his long gray beard resting on his chest.  
Apparently one of his legs had been amputated, and he didn’t look very happy.  
"Oh my God, are you alright Mister?" Leyla said and knelt down to look at him.

"I’m good Miss, not so bad at least" he muttered, trying to sit up a little more straight.  
"My goddamn horse got spooked and ran off. But he took my damn leg. He went that way I think" he pointed towards the lake.  
"His name’s Buell."  
"Buell?" Arthur asked.  
The man nodded. "Second time a prick named Buell cost me a leg."  
When Leyla and Arthur were looking at each other in confusion he added: "Buell was my general, when I lost it."  
Suddenly she understood, he must have been a soldier in the Civil War when he was a young man.  
The war had been over for more than 30 years now, but some things were not so easily forgotten.  
"Anyway, if you see an angry bastard of a horse with my wooden leg, I’d be real grateful."  
"We’ll bear that in mind... " Arthur said, so they left the stranger and went for the horse.

It didn’t take long for them to spot it grazing at the shoreline of the lake, and Leyla gasped at the sight.  
The Dutch Warmblood stallion was really astounding: its golden beige fur was glistening in the fading light of the day, making it unmissable in the grass.  
"That guy’s lucky we’re giving him the horse back, anybody else would sell him to the next stable, papers or not" she said when they slowly approached it.  
Arthur didn’t answer, and when the stallion caught sight of them, it neighed with disapproval and took a few steps back.  
When Arthur wanted to grab the reins, it tried to bite him. "Shit! Spooked, alright."  
"It’s okay, just take it slow" Leyla whispered, and gently nudged him forward.  
He gave her a short look, but did as she said, and soon he was standing in front of the horse and calmed it.  
"That’s a good boy. Come on, let’s get you back" she heard him say, and suppressed a smile.

The stallion didn’t seem to be too convinced and she could see his ears turn, but he eventually accepted his situation.  
Arthur took the reins and led him away from the lake, still speaking to him with a low voice.  
"He’s just where you left him, can’t go far with that leg in your stirrup. Can’t go bucking him like that! So you better be good, you hear?"  
Leyla couldn’t help but feel proud of him. He had his difficulties with headstrong horses, but he still managed to calm this one down.  
She followed them back and heard him murmur:  
"We ain’t far now, nothing gonna spook you here. Come on, you’re not so nasty."

They finally made their way back to the owner of the horse, and Leyla saw his face lighten up at their sight.  
"We found him, Sir" she said, and gently patted the horses neck.  
The older man nodded and said: "Thank you Miss. Miss...?"  
"Leyla. And you’re right, he’s a brute."  
"Hamish Sinclair. Yeah, he’s a great horse, aside from when the devil’s got him" he answered, and tried to sit up straight.  
"Hey Mister, you wanna hand me that leg there please? And while you’re at it, give old Buell a kick for me would ya?"  
Arthur looked at him with surprise, and the man chuckled at his blank expression.  
"Nah, I’m only kiddin’."  
"It's Arthur. And I'd rather be pullin' a Bull's tail than even touching that horse in the wrong place" Arthur snickered, and gave him the prosthesis back.  
After he adjusted his leg, Arthur helped him up and he groaned after he had been forced to sit on the hard ground for a while.  
"Thank you. Weren’t but a snake that spooked him. You’re a real gentleman, you know?" Hamish said, and Leyla couldn't help but smile.

Arthur rubbed his neck and said: "Sometimes, maybe. Hey, how’d you lose the leg?"  
"Oh, in the war, cannon ball. Pretty clean though", Hamish explained.  
"I don’t have much pain and I didn’t get any gangrene. Young boy went into battle with me got cut in half, so all things considered, I’m doing pretty well I guess."  
"Yeah, I guess. So, uh... how is the false one?" Arthur asked.  
"It’s okay. I can still hunt, fish, enjoy outside. Weren’t sent too crazy by it. Anyway, I ain’t got much to pay you with" the older man looked at him and then back to Leyla.  
"That’s totally fine Mister Sinclair" she said, and smiled at him.

"Please call me Hamish. You know, My cabin is right over on the other side of O’Creaghs Run there. Why don’t you just stay for the night? I appreciate the company."  
Leyla looked back to Arthur and he shrugged. "Sure, why not?"  
"That’s settled then, now follow me" Hamish said, and with surprisingly little effort he managed to get back into his saddle.  
"You throw me again, you old dumb bastard, I’m gonna put a bullet in you" Leyla heard him say to his horse, and she chuckled.  
Arthur and Leyla got their horses and soon arrived at a little cabin, well hidden under some trees on the edge of the lake.  
There was a little boat and a chicken shed next to it, but apart from that Leyla couldn’t see any more signs that the cabin was inhabited.  
She supposed that Hamish was living alone.  
  
It was already dark when they tied their horses on the back of the site and followed Hamish.  
"Alright, come inside, it’s not much but it’ll do for tonight" he said, and hurried to make a fire.  
The cabin was small but cozy, apparently a bachelor’s house, but the veteran got two more chairs from somewhere, and they sat at a table.  
Leyla prepared the meat from their hunting trip for dinner while Arthur was feeding the horses and Hamish made some coffee.  
After they had enjoyed their meal, they sat back and talked a bit.

"You wanted to go out hunting when Buell threw you off?" Leyla asked Hamish.  
"Yes, there’s this huge she wolf been stalking me the last few nights I’ve been out, but she can wait" he answered.  
Leyla gulped when she thought about what would have happened if they hadn’t stumbled over him by accident, and he had been forced to spend the night outside, all alone.  
"Don’t you worry Miss, I’m alright with living alone, I’m used to it" Hamish said, and winked at her.  
"So, what do you do? You two don’t seem to be on your honeymoon, so what brings you here in the middle of nowhere?" he asked.

Leyla felt her cheeks flush a little, and Arthur cleared his throat and hurried to say:  
"We... ah, well we’re on a hunting trip. Got us a map leading to some really big game, so we’re trying to find it."  
Hamish raised an eyebrow at him in disbelief: "So that’s what you do for a living? Where do you live?"  
His eyes flew back to Leyla and she could read something like concern in them.  
"We’re actually part of a larger group. We have a camp back at Horseshoe Overlook, near Valentine" she tried to explain before their host became even more suspicious.  
She didn’t even try to serve him that unemployed worker tale that Dutch made up for them, she knew that he was too clever to believe it.  
Arthur stiffened next to her and waited for his reaction.  
"So you’re Outlaws" Hamish stated, and his frown slowly abated.

When they didn’t answer him, he suddenly laughed and said:  
"Now don’t you worry, I was a soldier, not a sheriff. It’s your choice after all, I just wasn’t aware that people still do this. Seems to be quite... risky nowadays, isn’t it?"  
Leyla felt Arthur next to her relax, and he answered: "You’re probably right, but you don’t seem to care about society that much yourself."  
Hamish nodded, his lips slightly curved into a smile.  
"Not at all. I’m happy out here, it’s calm. There aren’t many people coming across, it’s just me and my horse and that’s it."  
"And the wolves" Leyla added, warming up her hands on her cup of coffee.  
"Wolves shouldn’t come so close to people" Arthur mused.  
"Yeah, it’s strange. When the whole country was wild, they could go wherever they liked. Now they’re stuck hiding in the few corners of the wilderness we got left" Hamish said.  
Arthur snorted before he took a sip from his cup. "It’s a feeling with which I can sympathize."  
Hamish chuckled, and then he watched them both with a thoughtful look, before he added:  
"This ain’t a country for wild animals, nor wild men neither."  
"Not anymore, it seems..." Arthur said.

Hamish didn’t answer, instead he got up and fetched some whiskey and three glasses that he placed on the table.  
"So, where are you from, Arthur?" Hamish asked when he sat down again.  
"Me? I’m a wanderer. I was born further north, but I spent a lot of time out west. Funny, I never saw myself as a wandering man..."  
Leyla held her breath when he began to speak, soaking up every word.  
She didn’t know much about his past, he didn’t write about it in his journal, and despite that one night up in Colter he hadn’t told her anything about him.  
"My mother died when I was very young, and my father went to jail when I was 11 years old. He got killed, and now all I got left from him is that worn out hat."  
He laughed a joyless laughter, and Leyla felt an aching in her chest.  
"I was about 14 when Hosea and Dutch picked me up. They’ve been more like a father to me than my old man ever was."

"Do you have a family?" Hamish asked.  
Arthur didn’t immediately answer the question, and Leyla wondered why he was suddenly so hesitant, since he had told him about his engagement to Mary shortly after she met him for the first time in Beaver Hollow.  
"I... uh, no. I used to be engaged once, but it didn’t last very long" he finally said.  
Hamish nodded. "I see. Now, what about you Leyla?"  
His bright eyes were attentive and observant, she thought that he was very carefully weighing up the information he got.  
She had been asked this question many times in the last few weeks, so it wasn’t difficult for her to answer anymore.  
Besides, it wasn’t a lie in the proper sense, she just left out the things that were related to her time-travel.  
"I was born and raised in Chicago, but my parents died in an accident many years ago. I lived with my uncle after that, he had a horse ranch in Arizona. He passed away about one year ago, and I had to leave."  
He watched her with interest, his hands resting on the table while she spoke.  
"I was on my way up north in the mountains when some bandits caught me. I wouldn’t sit here if Arthur hadn’t found me" she said, and turned her head to look at him.

One corner of his mouth was twitching, and she couldn’t tell if it was the light from the oil lamp that made his eyes all soft.  
"I see. Well, life can be pretty complicated I guess" Hamish said, and they turned their attention back to him.  
He seemed to be a little more relaxed now, and whatever he had been worrying about before was gone.  
"It must have been horrible back then. I mean the war" Leyla said after a while.  
Hamish nodded, his gaze focused on the fire, and his eyes somewhat hooded.  
"Worse than you can imagine. Many good men died these days. It was a mess."

Leyla noticed that he was absently scratching his wooden leg, as if he would still feel the missing limb.  
"Gettysburg was the worst. The body’s lay so thick, you coulda walked across the whole field without your boots touching mud."  
She shuddered, knowing from her studies what he was talking about.  
With over 40.000 people dying the battle involved the largest number of casualties of the entire war.  
"Those were bad times" Arthur added to break the silence, and Hamish seemed to wake from a bad daydream.  
"Yes they were. Guess we can only hope that the coming generations learn from that" the veteran said, and got up to his feet.

"Anyway, it’s late and I need some sleep."  
Arthur nodded and got up as well. "You’re right. Thanks for inviting us, I’ll set up the tents."  
Before Leyla could follow him outside, Hamish stopped her and said: "Oh no, Miss. You’re not going to sleep outside, you can have my bed, I just changed the sheets."  
She looked at him in surprised and shook her head: "Thank you Hamish, but I’m really okay with sleeping in a tent."  
He gently grabbed her shoulders and smiled with a fatherly expression.  
"Please, allow an old feller like me the pleasure of being a gentleman."  
Leyla couldn’t suppress a chuckle, and consent to his wish.

 

Hamish insisted that they stayed for breakfast the next morning, so they sat and talked a little.  
Arthur had just finished a story about his former dog Copper, and they laughed until their bellies hurt.  
"He had some spirit, though. Never lost the puppy in him, right to the end" Arthur said when they had calmed down.  
"Quite a story! Now, would you like some more coffee?" Hamish asked.  
"Yes, please" Leyla said, and the older man got up and went over to the small kitchen.  
Suddenly, he looked out of the window and hissed.

"What have we here?" he said, and Arthur hurried to get up too.  
"The she wolf?" he asked, and Leyla went over to see it for herself.  
"Yeah, she’s right across there" Hamish pointed outside, and when she followed the direction she spotted a huge wolf standing near the lake.  
"That close?" Leyla caught her breath.  
"She’s acting brazen! Come on, let’s mount up" Hamish didn’t lose any time and went outside, way quicker than she had him expected to be with that wooden leg.  
Arthur and her followed him and got on their horses.  
"She went around on the left, around the lake" the veteran said, and they made their way up to the deeper forest.

Buell was a strong horse, so Arthur and Leyla struggled a bit to keep up with him.  
"She’s up there somewhere. You with me? Come on!" they heard Hamish call.  
Suddenly, they stopped and looked around, but the wolf was nowhere to be seen.  
Then they heard a howling in the distance.  
"You hear that?" the older man asked.  
Arthur nodded. "Yep."  
"Quickly now, this way. Up there, on the outcrop, you see her? Let’s go around it."  
"That horse of yours is quite a champion" Leyla called and heard Hamish laugh.  
"Buell loves hills, don’t you boy? You eat them up for breakfast. Wait, what we got here.. is that a fresh kill?" he asked.

There was the carcass of a deer on the ground, its stomach violently ripped apart.  
"Could be, is the blood set?" Arthur asked.  
Hamish dismounted and stepped closer to examine it.  
"Let me take a look... yep. That was her dinner. My guess.. she’ gone somewhere over there" he said and pointed to the side of the mountain.  
Arthur snorted: "There’s a whole lot of ’over there’".  
"That’s the problem. Wait! There she is... got shy all of a sudden" Hamish whispered, and the three turned their heads to see a flash of gray fur between the trees.

"You got some extra miles on you today?" the veteran mocked.  
"If we gotta chase her, let’s chase her" Arthur answered.  
"No, we’d be way too slow, we’re gonna have to track her through the scrub."  
He turned to Leyla: "Are you okay with following us?"  
She nodded eagerly. "Sure, no problem."  
"Good. Better to be on foot, send your horse somewhere safe" he said.  
They took their rifles off the saddle and chased the horses away, hoping they would make it back to the cabin on their own.  
Hamish went ahead, and she followed him with Arthur right behind her. "I’ll track, stick to me. Let’s take this slow."  
When the woods became thicker he turned around to check if Arthur and Leyla were okay.  
"Keep a gun out, just in case. She could be half a mile in front of us, or behind the next bush" he said.

Leyla felt a nervous tingling in her chest, she wasn’t sure who was the hunter and who was the prey now.  
Suddenly Arthur halted and looked up to a ledge where a wolf stood looking at them.  
"Hey up there, is that the she wolf?" he asked.  
Something was wrong, Leyla could sense it.  
The large animal was just staring at them, there was no sign of fear or aggression as she had expected it.  
Normally wolves were shy and cautious, but this one was acting strange.

Then she heard a deep growl next to her, and when she turned her head she could see more wolves between the trees.  
"Oh Lord, there’s more of them!" Hamish cried and opened fire.  
"The hell! We’ve walked into something here!" Leyla could hear Arthur swear.  
She pulled the trigger and tried to keep the now attacking wolves at a distance.  
Once again Arthur proofed that he was a master with the gun.  
He managed to kill the majority of the wolves with a clean headshot, and as soon as the attack had begun it was over.

Leyla felt her heart beating heavy, and she panted when they put the guns down.  
"You alright?" Arthur asked her, placing a hand on her shoulder, and she nodded.  
"Woah. I was ready to offer my complete and unconditional..." the veteran said, visibly exhausted by the unplanned turn of events.  
"I don’t think the wolves woulda shown much mercy" Arthur muttered, his hand still resting on Leyla.  
Hamish chuckled and said: "That’s quite an ambush she led us into."  
"A _bushwhacking_ , I’d call it" Leyla said, taking a deep breath to calm herself down.

But then she heard another growl coming from behind, and when she turned she saw the she wolf baring her teeth at them.  
"Leyla, run!" Arthur cried and desperately pushed her away before he stepped in front of her.  
Hamish tried to distract the angry leader of the pack, waving his arms and calling: "Over here, over here!", but she passed him by as if he didn’t exist at all.  
Arthur was just reloading his ammunition, but it was too late.  
The she wolf jumped at him and tried to bite his neck.  
  
"Arthur! _Shit_! Damn you, you monster!" Hamish gnarled and aimed his rifle when Leyla pushed it down.  
"No, don’t! You could hit Arthur!" she said and drew out a knife.  
Arthur struggled to keep the jaws off his neck, but the wolf was huge and strong.  
Without further thinking Leyla screamed, and with all the force she could manage stabbed the knife into the flank of the animal.  
The wolf cried in agony and let go off him, only to turn around and prepare to attack Leyla.  
Before she was able to do something, she heard the explosion of a bullet, and the wolf collapsed in front of her.

Leyla turned to see Arthur still lying on the ground with the rifle in his hand, looking at her with a blank expression.  
He was back on his feet in no time, and like two magnets they flew in each other’s embrace.  
"Are you okay?" she heard his raspy voice whisper in her ear.  
" _Yes_ " she answered breathlessly, clinging to him as if afraid that he would vanish otherwise.  
"Good Lord, is everybody alright?" Hamish asked, and they reluctantly released each other.  
"That was mighty brave of you, Leyla!" Hamish said and gently patted her shoulder before he went over to the dead wolf.

"Look at him: proud thing" he said, examining the carcass.  
"Scary thing" Leyla muttered, and she couldn’t help but admire the sheer size of the wolf.  
"They brought us here to be slaughtered!" Arthur said and shook his head with anger.  
"You were out here for a hunt" Hamish chuckled at the sight.  
Arthur snorted and went over to pick up his rifle. "Yeah, and I guess I got hunted."  
"Ha! You won’t ever forget this hunt" he said with a smirk.  
"I think so" Arthur said and looked at Leyla.


	19. The Cabin in the Woods

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> Despite the title of this chapter, this one is a ticket to a little ride on the feels train for y’all...  
> Enjoy (;

After the men had finished skinning the wolves, Arthur and Leyla called for the horses and stowed the fur and the meat, before making their way back down to the lake.  
The she-wolf hadn’t hurt Arthur seriously, but Hamish insisted that they should stay with him for another night. When Leyla had dressed his superficial wounds, she went outside to look for some herbs to speed up the healing process. Arthur was worried that there might be some wolves left, so he asked Hamish to join her, and she didn’t mind the company.

The veteran showed her some good spots to gather thyme and mint, but there were even more plants that she wasn’t able to detect, since she had left Hoseas book in the cabin. Just when she crouched between the shrubs and reached out to grab a beautiful flower with pink blossoms, Hamish called her: "Hey, be careful with that one! That’s oleander sage, it might look pretty but it’s just as poisonous."  
She immediately withdrew her hand as if burned, and blinked in confusion. Hamish approached her, chuckling at the sight. "Now don’t be scared, you’d have to eat a bunch of it to die, but it causes nasty bellyaches."  
He carefully plucked some leaves, wrapping them up in a piece of cloth and handed it to her. "Here, it can be very helpful if you want to hunt smaller game that would get destroyed by the rifle. Just prepare some arrows with it and make sure to cook the meat thoroughly, and you’re good to go."  
Leyla nodded and said: "Thank you, Hamish. I mean, for everything."

The older man gave her a smile and gently rested his hand on her shoulder. "There’s nothing to thank me for. I’m very glad that you guys found me, it’s been a while since I last enjoyed the company of other people out here."  
Leyla hummed and looked up to him before she spoke: "Well, I guess that she-wolf didn’t like us that much, did she? Wanted to have some scared little humans for breakfast."  
Hamish barked a laugh and helped her up. "As far as I can tell you were born without a fearful bone in your body, Miss Coleman."  
She snorted very unladylike, and with playful mockery she asked: "Mister Sinclair, are you trying to compliment me?" He lifted one eyebrow at her, and she could see the lips under his gray beard curve into a grin. "I sure did, but I don’t wanna mess with Arthur, so you better keep this as our little secret, will ya?"

He turned around and Leyla looked after him with a baffled expression on her face. What did he mean?  
When she didn’t respond, he slowly turned around and gave her an amused look. "Now don’t be all surprised, Lady, I’ve seen the way he looks at you, ain’t gotta be no fortune teller to know that you play him like a fiddle." Leyla suddenly felt uncomfortable at those words, not sure what to make out of them. "See, Hamish... That’s not my intention..." But before she could talk any further he was at her side, giving her a warm smile and gently squeezing her upper arms. "I know, I didn’t mean it like that. Besides, that feller was a fool if he didn’t feel like that for you."  
She looked up in his fatherly eyes, a strange tingling washing over her chest, but she couldn’t put her finger on it.

"Let’s get back, we all need some rest now" Hamish said, and lead her back to the cabin. He sat down on a wooden bank near Buell and filled his pipe, while Leyla went inside.  
She found Arthur fast asleep on the bed and she sat down to study him, just like she had done on the night in Valentine when he got drunk with Lenny. Suppressing the urge to caress his stubbly cheek, she tenderly looked at him, watching his chest slowly rise and fall.

Leyla was fond of Arthur, no doubt. She had been fond of him before they had even met, and she couldn’t explain why. How was it so easy for Hamish to see what she didn’t? Maybe it was because it all had started as a mission to save him, to help the gang and make the best of the situation she got herself in. But so many thing shad happened meanwhile, and now the realization of her own feelings for him scared her. Her intervention changed his life, hopefully for the better, but how far was she allowed to go? What if the turn of events could give him the opportunity to live the life he always wanted, the life he deserved? What about Mary, what about their plans and future? Although she had the unique insight of his thoughts through the journal, she wasn’t sure what he thought or felt right now. He wasn’t a man who would open up so freely, and actually that was part of what she liked about him.

All in all Leyla had to admit that she was afraid.  
Afraid of loving him.  
Afraid of losing him.  
Losing him by disease, bullets or higher force was one thing, for she would travel back in time until she was old and weak, to save him again and again. But _finally_ losing him, to let him go and know, that there was no way he would ever come back to her, required a strength she wasn’t sure she had.

She swallowed her tears and busied herself to distract her mind, but when the three of them sat down later in the evening to have dinner, the mood just wasn’t as bright as the day before. They all went to bed early, pretending that it was because Leyla and Arthur had to make it up to the mountains. She slept in the bed again, because Arthur remained stubborn and went outside with Hamish. When she laid down, she could still smell him on the sheets, pressing her face against the pillow.

 

Hamish helped them to pack up their things the next morning, and Leyla gave him a tight hug before they left.  
"Come by whenever you’re near, you’re always welcome. Take care you two" he said, shaking Arthur’s hand afterwards. Arthur nodded and tipped his hat. "You too."

The dense and dark forest soon swallowed them, and it was difficult to keep the orientation. The higher their path lead, the sparser the trees became, and soon they could see the side of the mountains. It was colder up here, and the floor was covered with beautiful flowers like violets and red poppy.  
They had halted to water the horses, and Arthur studied the map Hosea had given to him.  
"So, what do you think?", Leyla asked. Arthur frowned looking around with a worried expression on his face before he answered: "Well, that map isn’t very detailed, so I guess we have to track him down from here. But I’d say we should look for a safe place to sleep since that bear could easily hide in a cave nearby."  
She nodded. "Alright, let’s take a look around."

Keeping close together they searched around to find a proper place for the night, but Arthur soon fell behind. Leyla turned around to see him leaned towards a tree, inspecting its bark.  
"Did you find anything?" she asked, but he only shook his head and caught up to her. "Nah, thought it might be a claw mark, but it’s too small, probably a fox or something."  
It wasn’t long until she spotted a ladder between the trees, and she pointed her finger to show him: "Hey Arthur, do you see that?"  
He squinted his eyes and frowned. "Yeah, I do. Might be a deer stand, let’s take a look."

They got closer and saw that the wooden ladder led up to a small cabin that was built on stakes. Arthur raised one finger to his lips and quietly climbed up to see if it was occupied. After a few seconds he came outside again came back down.  
"Everything’s alright, it’s empty. Doesn’t look like somebody’s been here lately, so I guess we’re lucky. We’ll leave the horses untied, so they can flee if it’s necessary."  
Leyla took off her saddlebag and climbed up to find the cabin almost empty. There was an iron stove, a makeshift bed and a table with a chair, nothing else. She made a fire and prepared dinner while Arthur cared for the horses.

While they sat together to eat, Leyla avoided looking at him and tried to focus on the food before her. She wasn’t very hungry and poked her meat only halfheartedly.  
"You miss home, huh?" Arthurs husky voice pulled her out of her apathy, and she looked at him in surprise. He was sizing her up with a strange expression on his face, as if he had eaten something bad.  
She cleared her throat and answered: "No. No, I don’t miss my home. I know what missing feels like, and that ain’t what I feel."  
She tried to say it in a more neutral manner, but telling from his eyes she failed at that.  
He clenched his jaw and dropped his gaze. "I’ll quit asking if it’s such a burr under your saddle" he murmured.  
"No!" she said, a little too enthusiastic, and his eyes flew up again. She bit her lip and scolded herself mentally for being so stupid.

"I mean... you don’t have to quit, I enjoy talking to you" she said.  
He lifted one eyebrow and snorted, giving her a sceptical look. "I might not be a bookworm like Dutch or Hosea, but I know a thing or two about living as an outlaw."  
_Ah, so that’s what this is all about,_ she thought. "Knowledge from books is not wisdom. It’s the things we are able to see outside of ourselves that help us to get along with this world. It all depends on your ability to question your thoughts and your actions", she replied.  
Arthurs eyes softened again, and she could see his adam’s apple dance when he gulped.

She tilted her head and said: "You should know me better, Arthur. I'm not a naive little girl that's fooled by romantic ideas. I know what I'm dealing with, and I'm living this life by my own decision."  
"I've heard these words before, they don' mean anything“, he almost whispered. Leyla sighed, growing a little impatient with his self-doubts.  
"See, and that's pretty much where the problem lies. You're comparing me with other people, but I'm not other people! I'm me, nothing more and nothing less."

He blinked a few times, not leaving her gaze before he answered: "Ya never asked anything of me. That's just... I'm not used to folks treatin' me like that."  
_You mean women_ , she was tempted to say, but she bit her tongue and waited for him to continue.  
Arthur shifted in his chair when she didn't answer, a cease appearing between his eyebrows.

When he finally spoke he changed the topic, and the moment was gone. "Now, I'm keeping watch outside during dusk, see if I can already spot that bear."  
And with that he rose from his seat and went outside, leaving Leyla and her thoughts behind in the cabin.  
_Good job, Leyla_.  
She cleaned up their plates, prepared the bed for herself and unfolded Arthur's sleeping bag on the floor, just a gesture of good will. Then she took off her boots and pants before she crawled into her own sleeping bag, savoring the heat that emanated from the stove right at the foot of the bed.

The warmth and the dim light from the oil lamp soon brought her into a comfortable state of drowsiness, and she fell asleep.  
It was the piercing sound of a rifle that woke her up again, making her jolt in the bed. At first, she wasn't sure if she had dreamt it, but then a second shot, closer this time, cut through the night, and she felt her pulse rise. Then a third, a fourth, a fifth - _Arthur_!  
Leyla kicked herself out of her sleeping bag and stumbled towards the door. The chair outside was empty, and she could hear the nervous snorting of a horse from beneath. She hastily climbed down the ladder, her bare feet slipping in the wet grass, and turned around to face the darkness in front of her.  
She didn't dare to call him, and her limbs felt frozen to the ground. Unable to move she started to shake, both from the panic and the cold that crept into her skin, only covered by a blouse and underwear.

Slowly, it dawned to her what had happened.

He had left her inside on purpose.  
When they had made their way through the forest earlier, he had already seen the tracks of the bear, contrary to what he had told her. After the incident with the wolves he wanted to protect her, but now she was all alone, and he needed her help.  
Leyla didn't know what to do, the shock was just too intense, and the aftermath of her sleep hadn't fully left her yet. She was in a dream like state, trying desperately to wake up.  
She knew that feeling all too well. It was the heart consuming fear of losing someone you loved.

And then she saw him.  
It was a light coming through the trees, small at first, but soon she could make out his features, and he stopped in his tracks when he recognized her.

_"Arthur."_ Her voice was a mere whisper.  
Seeing him standing in front of her, his contour blurred against the light of his oil lamp, he looked like a delusion to her. For a brief moment all those unbelievable things that had happened during the last few weeks flashed before her eyes:

The journal, the time-travel to Beaver Hollow, the Pinkertons at the river, Sadie crying over her husband, the bear at Crain Lake - and Arthur.  
His sweaty face that showed signs of disease.  
The surprised look in his eyes when they stumbled over each other on their fishing trip.  
His breath freezing to ice on his beard when he found her in the barn up in Colter.  
The small wrinkles on the side of his eyes when he smiled.

Now his intense gaze was fully on her, his lips slightly parted. He was almost staring at her, slowly blinking with hooded eyes.  
Without wasting further time she ran forward, and he could hardly open his arms to embrace her, the lamp thumping on the ground next to his hat.  
Her whole body was aware of him: she smelled his unique scent of smoke, musk and leather, touched the rough cotton of his jacket, ran her hands through his hair. She felt the heat his body radiated, his warm breath next to her ear, his beard stubble scratching her cheek, the pulse of his heart beating against his chest.

He was there. He was alive. God, he was alive after all!

"Arthur. Arthur, Arthur."

She clung to him as if he was the last living thing on earth, pressing her limbs against his statue to fully possess his presence. To make sure, this wasn’t a dream or a hallucination.

He was _real_.

For a short moment she thought that she might had pushed her boundaries or hurt him, but his hands remained sprawled flat against her back, making her stay in place and pressing her to him with the same eagerness.  
She nuzzled her face against his neck, her lips ghostly caressing the sensitive skin beneath his ear, and he uttered a soft growl that rumbled in his chest.  
"I ain’t goin‘ anywhere, darlin‘," he said with a husky voice, one hand sneaking up to play with her hair.

A helpless little laugh escaped her mouth, and she pressed her eyes close to keep herself from crying.  
"I thought I had lost you," she murmured into his collar and soaked up his smell.  
Slowly, he leaned his upper body away to look at her, cupping her face with one hand and caressing her cheek with his thumb.  
His eyes were dark pools luring her in, and when he spoke she felt her nerves lighting up with electricity: "I'm yours if you'll have me."

So she kissed him.


	20. The Stars Up Above

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> Constructive criticism is welcome... please be gentle with me, I feel a little unsure about this?!  
> I changed the rating to explicit, because... well, because.

The warmth from Arthurs body was a shocking contrast to Leylas cold limbs, but the moment her lips met his, she felt the heat spreading through her whole body.  
So many times, both consciously and subconsciously, she had imagined kissing him, only allowing herself to picture it when he wasn’t aware that she was watching him. She had wondered how his beard would feel on her skin, what he would taste like.  
In her mind it was a gentle, careful kiss she would steal from him while he was asleep, keeping it as her little secret.

When she kissed him now, she felt her back arching towards him involuntarily, making her stand on her tiptoes almost losing her balance. But Arthurs hands were resting firmly on her back, supporting her. With her arms around his neck she pressed against him, funny shapes dancing inside of her closed eyes. The sudden contact made her jolt, all the adrenaline from when she thought him dead still floating in her veins, and she couldn’t suppress a quiet moan at the sensation.  
His lips were a little coarse due to the cold weather, a faint taste of cigarettes and whiskey lingering on them.

And she craved for more.  
  
She felt him cupping her face with one hand, tilting his head to deepen the kiss. He made a low sound that stirred something inside her stomach and made her shiver, the edges of reality and imagination blurring into one.  
Their movements became feverish and their breath quickened, but Arthur suddenly broke the kiss resting his forehead against hers. Leylas head was buzzing and she gasped for air, trying to steady herself by holding onto his collar.

"The bear... you... you gotta go inside" he managed to say, his voice rough, and it took her a moment to fully process the information.  
"Wh-What?" she asked, blinking in confusion when she looked up to him.  
He tucked a stray strand of hair behind her ear, caressing her cheek as he did so, and repeated: "I need to finish this first, there might be wolves in this area, it’s not safe for us."

She nodded, remembering the reason why he had gone outside in the first place, forcing her dizzy mind to work properly again.  
The bear. He had managed to take the legendary bear down, but he couldn’t leave the carcass near the cabin. It was too dangerous and besides, they would risk the money for the fur and the meat.  
Leyla slowly nodded. "I’m coming with you-" "No", Arthur contradicted, and she frowned.  
"No, please it’s too risky. I’ll be fine, just... just go inside, it’s freezin’ out here," he said and gulped, trying to avoid looking at her bare legs.

There was no need to argue about that, so she reluctantly released him and he bent down to pick up his hat and the oil lamp.  
When she didn’t move, Arthur would gently lift her chin with the knuckles of his free hand and place a quick peck on the corner of her mouth. Despite their intense contact just a few moments ago,  Leyla felt the already heated skin on her face flush, her chest welling with emotion at this simple, yet meaningful gesture.  
"I’ll be right back," he said, and nudged her forward.

Making her way back to the cabin Leyla suddenly became aware of the cold, now uncomfortably shivering and chattering with her teeth. Once she got inside she crawled into her sleeping bag and moved near to the oven, her head leaning against the wooden wall.

Good Lord. Had this really happened?

She closed her eyes and lifted one hand up to touch her mouth, still feeling the pleasant pressure of Arthurs lips only moments ago. She was awake, wasn’t she?  
Feeling too much at once - fear, joy, desire, confusion, curiosity - her head kept spinning, and she was sure she had fainted hadn’t she been sitting on the bed. It was only yesterday that Leyla had questioned her relationship to Arthur, unsure of what to feel and what to do, but now... she feared her heart might overflow.

She couldn’t say how long he was gone, for the exhaustion made her fall asleep quickly. But when she heard him climbing up the ladder, she snapped out of her slumber and looked at the door. It was still dark outside, probably in the middle of the night, and the cold breeze following him made the little hairs on her arms stand upright. The sleeves of his jacket were slightly wet, he probably had gone to the nearby river to clean himself after the work was done.  
Leyla couldn’t help but stare at him, taking in his tall stature in the dim light of the small room. Following the outlines of his body, she imagined what he looked like beneath the clothes, imagined the hairline on his stomach, imagined the way his muscles flexed under his skin.  
He was so... captivating. The cabin was small, and he seemed to fill it only with his presence, emanating some strange kind of energy.

He cleared his throat, taking off his hat and kneading it between his fingers, as if he was a little unsure of what to do. Was he regretting what happened?  
"Ah... are you alright?" he managed to ask, and she simply nodded.  
  
Arthur went over to the chair and sat down, taking off his satchel and placing it on the table together with his hat. Leyla followed every of his movements, now highly awake and feeling the knot of tension in her belly tighten.  
He was looking at her with hooded eyes, and she wondered if it was just the fatigue or rather something else. Before her courage left her, she slowly went out of her sleeping bag and slid to the edge of the bed, never leaving his gaze. She reached out to gently grab one of his large hands, and even in the poor lighting she could make out the angry red skin protesting against the ice cold water their owner had washed them with.  
"You’re cold" she said, lifting it up to caress it with her lips and warm it up with her own hands. She could feel his pulse pounding through his wrists, and she was sure he must feel hers, too. Then he cupped her cheek and slightly brushed his thumb over her lower lip, sending delightful shivers down her spine.

When she looked up to him again, his expression was dark and soft.  
"Leyla."  
She couldn’t tell if it was a question or an invitation, but the way he rolled the syllables of her name in his husky timbre cut something loose in her. With one fluid motion she was on his lap, seeking his body and finding his lips again.  
A startled sound escaped his mouth, but his strong arms embraced her in to time and pressed her close to him. What had begun so tentative and unexpected before, was now passionate and hungry, melting into a haze of physical sensations.

She _had_ to feel him again.

Her fingers frantically traced the lines of his bold shoulders under the jacket, feeling the firm muscles beneath the cotton shirt. His chest was heaving under her touch, and she could feel his heart pounding against it.  
Arthur was all about opposites to her: his smooth grown out hair and his stubbly beard, the cold that had crept into his clothes and his warm breath, his calloused hands all gentle on her.  
He kept stroking her back, slightly pulling her blouse up and leaving her thighs bare. When he suddenly cupped her hips and pressed her against him, she moaned and slightly opened her mouth just to feel his tongue caressing her lower lip. And the world started spinning around her.

At that moment she didn’t care about her concerns and troubles, he was hers now, and she wanted to fully possess him.

Grabbing fistfuls of his collar she pulled him towards her, tasting him, inviting him. She could feel a low groan rumbling in his chest, his grip on her hips growing tighter, and she pressed down on his lap feeling his erection under the rough material of the working pants. Leyla gasped, unable to hold back anything her rational self might have suppressed before.  
Opening her eyes she saw his blue iris now all dark, consuming her. His lips were plump and moist, a reminder of their connection, of her impact on him.

She wanted to say something, wanted to tell him what he meant to her, but the words never came when Arthur arched up and pressed himself against her. The flimsy cloth of her sewn undergarments were a poor barrier against his thrust, sending an aching jolt into her core. Slanting his mouth across hers, he drew her closer to him, rhythmically shifting beneath her and causing a stifled cry with every upward motion.  
"Easy, love, I got you," his raspy voice came up between a kiss.  
It was too much: the friction of her breasts against his chest, the pressure of his own arousal against hers, the sweet, wet taste of his mouth - so she lost it.

Breaking the kiss to moan in her climax, she writhed and squirmed in his arms, feeling her insides painfully yet pleasurably clenching.  
When it was over she went limp, resting her head against Arthurs shoulders and snuggling to his neck. They were both panting, still a little overwhelmed and lost in their own unconsciousness, but eventually their heart rates and breathing slowed down, making place for a languid kind of unfulfillment.

Then Arthur stirred, the evidence of their encounter still prominent beneath her. His voice near to her ear, he growled and said: "Darlin’, you’re gonna to be the death of me."  
Leyla chuckled breathlessly and pulled back a little, looking at him with a soft smile. Dropping a gentle kiss on his cheek she answered: "I doubt that. But.. if you want, we can..."  
She wanted to be with him, in every way possible, but it was all new, and she didn’t know how.  
He returned the kiss and caressed her cheek again, smoothing her disarranged hair. "Been a long day, I think we better sleep a little."  
Disappointment gnawed at the corner of her heart, but before she could wrap her thoughts around it, Arthur rose from his seat with her and gently placed her on the bed.

"Arthur?" It was a question, so simple yet it held all of her fears and hopes inside of it.

"Gimme a second," he said and peeled off his boots and his jacket, picking up his sleeping bag from where she had left it on the floor. He turned around and placed it on the bed, and she happily made room for him to lie down beside her.  
There wasn’t much room for them both, so they moved together closely, Arthur wrapping his arms tightly around her with her head tucked beneath his chin. Her hands rested against his chest, and she felt safe and comfortable in his embrace.  
Finally having him so near to her settled a feeling of contentment, and soon she drifted into sleep again.


	21. Confessions

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> Comments are highly requested!  
> So... have fun, I guess?!

When Leyla woke up the next morning, she found the narrow space next to her empty. She reached out and sprawled her hand flat against Arthurs sleeping bag, trying to find just a hint of warmth that would tell her he might just left recently.  
Closing her eyes, she called back the memory of last night, the picture of him still present, and the feeling of his mouth and his hands on her coming back to her mind. Pleasure bloomed fresh and eager in her belly, but was soon quenched by his absence. So she rather decided to get up and dress, suddenly sober and a little anxious about how he was going to react.

When she had combed her hair and prepared to get outside, she suddenly heard Arthur coming up to the cabin, his large steps unmistakable. He opened the door carefully, obviously thinking she was still asleep, but then he looked up seeing her standing in the small room.  
None of them dared to speak at first, they just stared at each other in careful consideration, waiting for the other to say something.  
Eventually Arthur cleared his throat. "Good mornin’."  
Leyla gave him a shy smile. "Good morning, you’re up early."  
He nodded, lifting his free hand and showing her a handful of quail eggs she hadn’t spotted when he stepped in. "Yeah, I’ve been out gettin’ some breakfast, that bear’s meat isn’t the best. Coffee’s ready, so if you like?" he offered, pointing behind him with the thumb of his free hand.

Feeling her nervousness slowly fading in prospect of their normal daily routine, she nodded and went outside with him. A fire was crackling on the ground, and their horses grazed peacefully a few feet away. It was a clear, yet cool morning, the humid air of the night still lingering between the trees.  
She could make out the bearskin rolled up on Arthur’s horse, and only by seeing its sheer volume Leyla could tell that this animal must have been huge. She gulped and tried not to think about it too much, instead she made her way to the fire and picked up the coffee percolator to pour two mugs.  
Arthur prepared a small frying pan and made scrambled eggs, and after they got seasoned with some thyme and oregano they made a really good meal.

They just sat together and ate, the tension between them still noticeable. Neither of them tried to touch or look at the other, making the silence feel awkward between them.  
Arthur had never been a man of many words as long as she knew him, that was probably why he had his journal in the first place. He was used to keeping his thoughts to himself and only spoke if it was necessary, so it didn’t surprise her that he wouldn’t talk about what had happened between them. Nevertheless Leyla felt a little odd about his reserve, something seemed to bother him, she could sense it, but she wasn’t able to put her finger on it. Finally, she decided to give him some space since she didn’t want to push him.

"So, where do we sell that bear pelt?" she asked casually, trying to make the situation a little more comfortable for both of them.  
Arthur chewed on a spoonful of eggs and answered: "There’s a trapper southeast from here, maybe half a day to ride. Think we should get there today, then try’n get back to the camp, maybe we’ll catch something on our way:"  
She nodded, relieved to have something to distract her from her own thoughts. After they finished their meal, they put out the fire and gathered their things together, soon ready for departure. Leyla could feel Arthurs eyes on her every now and then, and when she stowed her belongings on her horse she looked up and gave him a reassuring smile. His expression was indifferent, she wasn’t able to read him, when eventually the corners of his mouth curved into a crooked smile.

When they finally mounted their horses she had to swallow the lump in her throat, her knuckles white from her tight grip on the saddle horn. This was wrong, why was he behaving like that? Was his demeanor last night just the aftermath of his near death facing the grizzly bear? Was that the reason he didn’t want to go any further than kiss her?  
Leyla tried to steady herself, focusing on the road before her and distracting her mind with leading her horse down the mountain. But there was no use to it, her chest felt tight and her throat burnt with unshed tears.  
She was glad that Arthur didn’t see her inner turmoil, for he was leading the way, so they rode silently until midday. And with every mile that passed, the possible scenarios in her head became worse.

When she spotted smoke between the trees, she felt almost relieved that their destination was in sight. They slowed the horses and soon reached a small camp a sturdy looking man with a huge dark beard had set up. All kinds of animal skins were put up to dry, and the stranger was busy to sew what Leyla thought were leather boots.  
He looked up when they approached and greeted them friendly: "Hello, what do you have for me?"  
Arthur tipped his hat and patted the fur on the back of his horse: "We got some nice pelts here, you interested?"  
The trapper nodded, putting his work aside and rose from his seat. "Right, let’s see."

They dismounted and got the wolves skins from the hunt with Hamish and the bear skin for the trapper to examine. He looked pretty impressed and said: "Oh, I’d pay just about any price for this! Where did you find those beasts?"  
Arthur chuckled and winked at him. "Well, let’s keep that as our little secret."  
The trapper took all the skins and most of the meat they had stowed, giving them a good amount of money. This could be a very good income if they would be able to track the other legendary animals down, Leyla thought.  
"Alright then, good doing business with you. Come around anytime." He bid them goodbye and they got on their horses again, heading back to the Heartlands.

The sun was already setting when they set up their tents in the open grassland, finding a carved rock outcrop that would give them shelter for the night. She noticed that Arthur was shooting her a sideways glance, but whenever she tried to make eye contact, she saw him stubbornly focusing on his hands, his jaw clenched. They hadn’t talked since they had left the cabin, and now Leyla wasn’t able to hide her nervousness anymore. So she mustered her courage, taking a deep breath and stepped up to him.

"Arthur... uhm, is everything okay?" she asked cautiously.  
His eyes were sharp blue when they flew up to meet hers, and she could see his adam’s apple bobble when he gulped, his gaze never leaving her. "Ah, yeah sure, why not?"  
Something inside of her snapped at this innocent answer. Clearly something was _not_ okay, and she had given him the chance to explain himself. But he refused to do so, and she felt a feeling of disappointment and anger swell in her chest.

"Why not? _Why not_?" She made a wild gesture, snorting disgracefully. "We-you-... I mean, what _is_ this all about?!"  
His expression went blank, his eyes slightly widened at her unexpected exclamation. It made her even more furious. She didn’t want to throw a tantrum like a stubborn child, but she couldn’t bear his silence, not after what had happened.  
"Say something, please!" she begged, but he didn’t answer, a slight frown appearing on his forehead when he finally dropped his gaze.

"Do you regret it?"  
The words were spoken so softly, that she doubted she had uttered them in the first place, but when Arthur looked at her again, she knew he had heard them. His frown deepened and he said: "No! No, I-no! Why do you say that?"  
She felt the tears already burning at the corners of her eyes, and it was pure willpower that she hadn’t allowed them to spill down her cheeks yet.  
It was so pathetic. She felt like a complete and utterly fool, standing in front of the man she loved and somehow managing to misunderstand everything she had thought to know about him.  
"You haven’t said a word about it since, you didn’t even try to touch me. A-and after we kissed, you didn’t want to... I don’t understand!"  
A sob left her mouth totally out of her control, but Arthur was at her side in an instant, his arms firmly wrapped around her. It broke that last, fragile barrier inside of her, and she cried.

"It’s okay darlin’, ssshhhh, it’s alright," he crooned, gently stroking her hair with one hand, trying to comfort her.  
But being so near to him again felt wrong. She didn’t want his pity, so she shoved him back and looked in his startled face. "No, it’s not! You said you-" But before she could even finish her sentence, he cupped her face and pressed his lips on hers, silencing her protest. It felt desperate, and he clung to her as if for dear life, leaving her no room for any further words.  
When he finally broke free to breath, her confusion only deepened and she searched his eyes for an answer.

"I know what I said. But... I shouldn’t have done it."  
There, he’d said it. She knew it couldn’t turn out well, her wariness hadn’t betrayed her. But it was her own fault, wasn’t it? How could she have assumed that her self-imposed mission to save him gave her the right to demand his heart? She felt beyond mortification, a deep wave of shame and guilt over her own ignorance washing over her. She closed her eyes and waited for the inevitable blow.  
"There’s somethin’ I need to tell you." He took her hand in his, absently rubbing his thumbs over her knuckles. She felt numb, the tears had stopped and there was only emptiness left. Whatever he had to say now, she would accept it.  
Arthur took a deep breath, were his hands trembling?

"I had a son once. Years ago. Don’t talk about him much."  
The words didn’t even reach her first. Her eyes flew up seeing him avoiding her gaze, studying her hand with eager concentration.  
Suddenly, that warm day at the river came to her mind, when they had gone fishing with Jack.

_I taught another boy to fish once, a long time ago._

He had meant his _son_.  
Her heart was pounding against her chest like a caged bird, and her body went stiff, but he continued: "His name was Isaac. His mother, Eliza, was a waitress I met."  
That must have been before he even met Mary, but she didn’t dare to ask where they were now. Instead, she just stared at him, waiting for him to explain further.

"When she got pregnant she knew who I was, what my life was. I didn’t wanna promise nothin’ I couldn’t keep, but... I said I’d do right by them. Every few months I’d stop by there for a few days." He sighed, the hurt in his voice unmistakable.  
"He was such a good kid. She was too, I guess. Just a kid... Nineteen." Leyla didn’t need to ask, she assumed that he could’ve hardly been much older.  
She tried to picture him back then, remembering the fierce young man from the photograph.  
_You’ve read the files, typical case... orphaned street kid seduced by that maniac’s silver tongue and matures into a degenerated murderer,_ she heard the sneering voice of Agent Milton.  
He had been little more than a boy himself, angry and reckless, just like so many others his age. But life had been tough, and he had to learn to deal with the consequences of his actions the hard way.

Leyla whispered: "What happened?"  
He still refused to look at her, his lips pressed into a thin line. "I got there one day and… saw two crosses outside, and I knew right away… turned out some bastards had come through. Robbed them and shot them dead. All for ten dollars."  
Something dropped inside of her, a dark, cold thing that hit her in the guts.

_God, no._

She hadn’t read about that in the journal, maybe it was because some pages had been missing, but she doubted that he had written down anything about that in the first place.  
Experiencing something like that was beyond her imagination, despite her own losses. And when the realization of what he just had said fully reached her, a deep sorrow settled inside of her.

"It hardened me… feeling that kind of pain. But I know that you don’t get to live a bad life and have good things happen to you." His tone was bitter, the pain in his words obvious.  
Finally, he lifted his gaze, and the sadness in his eyes was shocking to her, because she had never seen him like this.  
"I had no right to be with you like this, not without tellin’ you the truth. I’ve done it once, and it was another big mistake."

Later, when Leyla would be thinking about that moment, she could clearly remember how deep his words had cut her, and how much she was feeling his remorse and his guilt.  
At that moment she knew that she was lost to him, her fate had been sealed and she had happily given in to it.  
  
She didn’t say anything at first, she just slung her arms around him and cupped his head, pressing her to him. He stiffened and hesitantly responded, carefully holding her as if she was fragile.  
When she gently pushed herself away, just enough to look at him, she said: "Don’t punish yourself like this, Arthur. It was not your fault."  
He exhaled a shaky breath, dropping his gaze again, his eyes red and moist. "I was responsible for them... if I only had been there to... to do something-" "There was nothing you could have done," Leyla said.  
Lifting her hand so caress his face, she tried to make him look at her, but he refused.  
"You’re not like them, you’re a good man. Please-" she strove to convince him when he snorted, "- please, Arthur, look at me. Every single gang member owes you something, because you have helped them to survive. When push comes to shove you’re there, you _care_ for others-" But before she could go on any further, he had freed himself from her embrace, taking a step back. And now his eyes were burning with rage, his brows knitted together in an angry line.

"Stop it! Just... _stop_! You need to see me as the man I _am_ , Leyla, not the man you _want_ me to be!" His booming voice sent a shiver down her spine.  
His chest was heaving with sharp intakes of his breath, his hands clenched to fists. "I’m a murderer and a thief. And I’m _very_ good at it."  
The expression on his face was hard, his defense of fury and rage all up again. He clearly didn’t believe in acceptance, thinking he didn’t deserve it.  
It was the only thing he knew to handle the grief and the guilt: if life bites you, you need to bite back.

Leyla just watched him silently, not trying to close the distance between them. "Is it so hard to imagine somebody loving you?" she asked. He didn’t answer, just stared at her, grinding his teeth.  
"I’ve seen you killing others, Arthur. I witnessed it first hand, even doing it for my own sake. And that’s the point: you were doing it for the right reason," she said, mirroring the words she had said to him the first time she went to Horseshoe Overlook.  
He blinked as if the words were somehow familiar to him, but didn’t answer.  
"It doesn’t make everything right you’ve done, but you know that, and that’s what makes the difference."

She could see his eyes squint slightly as he weighed up her words, rubbing his fingers nervously.  
"I love you, Arthur Morgan, and I can accept if you don’t feel the same for me. But if you refuse letting me love you because you think you’re not worth it, I need to knock some sense in your stubborn head."  
His shoulders slumped at her words, unable to reply. He was watching her carefully, trying to find out if she meant it or not. She didn’t move, waiting for him to finally process what she had said.  
The mere seconds stretched on, and Leyla had to suppress the urge to just hug him, keeping him safe from his own destructive mindset.

And with a deep sigh that carried all his pain, he said: "I reckon you take real pleasure in tormentin’ me, woman."  
A crooked smile sneaked into her face, feeling relieve that at least he found his sense of mockery again. The corners of his mouth twitched at the sight, but his eyes were still filled with concern when he searched her gaze. Finally, he took a step forward, reaching out his hand to touch her face.  
"I guess all I can do now is try to make some things right," he said and kissed her again.

His hands on her body felt more confident now, following her back down to her hips. Leaving her mouth he showered her face with kisses, and as he drew her closer she could hear his raspy voice next to her ear: "Never doubt that I want you, Leyla."  
Her mind was all clouded with want again, and she felt heat spreading between her thighs at his words. She moaned, clawing at his jacket he quickly shook off his shoulders, and then his shirt. Impatiently, her fingers started to fumble with the buttons while Arthur was pulling out the hem from his pants. Soon, his chest was bare under her hands, and she relished the tense muscles and the coarse hair. A soft groan left his lips at the touch, and before she realized what he was doing, Leyla found herself scooped off the ground and gently laid down on a sleeping bag under the shelter of the stony hollow. They kicked off their boots and Arthur put his shirt aside, leaning over her with his weight supported on his forearms. Leyla pulled him down for another deep kiss while one of her legs curled around his hips.

Arthur soon tried to unbutton her blouse, but failed to deal with the small buttons, and with a frustrated growl he leaned back on his knees and pulled her up with him.  
"Best we rip this thing off," he growled, but Leyla laughed and gently pushed his hands away to do it herself.  
"No we don’t, I can’t afford losing my clothes to your impatience," she replied and kissed him before he could contradict her. The piece came off in no time, revealing only the short chemise she had bought when she wouldn’t wear a dress or skirt. She had left her modern bra back in Valentine, having no use in keeping an item that wouldn’t be useful to her. Now she felt Arthurs hungry gaze on her, slowly becoming aware of how little clothing she actually wore. He swallowed hard and traced the line of her collarbone with his fingers before he kissed her again.

Leyla fell back onto the sleeping bag, Arthurs body now pressed against her, and she gasped when he started kissing her jaw and neck. Her eyelids fluttered at the sensation, her hips instinctively arching upwards to meet his.  
His calloused hands gently pulled at the straps of the chemise and exposed more of her skin, his lips following the trail. She almost jolted at the sensation of his scratchy beard on her sensitive cleavage, and moaned again when his large hands softly kneaded the curve of her breasts. With her fingers woven in his hair, she pulled his head down and he understood, licking the bud of one hardened nipple, then the other. She closed her eyes with a low cry, and he hummed approvingly, gently rubbing and sucking both of her breasts.

Then his mouth was back on hers, and when he drew back his gaze was hot and questioning. Without hesitation Leyla began to untie her belt, and Arthur helped her to pull off her pants. He faltered for a moment when he saw her sewed drawers. Usually down to knee-length, Leyla had shortened them to fit almost as the panties she knew from home, and that clearly affected him.  
"Now, I dunno why you’d do this, darlin’, but I like it," he rumbled, and Leyla felt her skin stipple with gooseflesh.  
Before she could say anything he kissed her again, and she could feel his fingers softly stroking her through the thin material. She struggled to get out of her chemise and pressed against him, her own hands exploring the exposed skin of his back. Although his touch was arousing, she wouldn’t make it beyond that, so she grabbed for Arthurs belt and opened it. He sat back and got out of both his pants and the cotton knickers he wore as underwear, now completely naked.  
Leyla marveled at his lean, muscular body, his chest and abdomen covered with curly hair, his skin pale where it was covered from the sun. His cock was rigid and dark against his belly, throbbing with the same eagerness Leyla felt quivering inside of her.

He watched her, carefully studying her face, and she could sense his uncertainty. She reached for his hand and pulled him back to her, kissing him gently before she muttered: "I want you, Arthur."  
Pulling off her drawers, she curled her legs around his hips, trapping him against her now wet folds. His hot, hard flesh was rubbing against her, and he groaned when he deepened the kiss. They savored the feeling of bare skin for a moment, this time without any barriers between them, but soon Leyla lifted her hips to guide him. Arthur opened his eyes to look at her, a tender and passionate expression on his face. When he finally pushed inside of her, she closed her eyes and arched her head back, exposing her neck to his mouth.

It had been a while since Leyla last had sex, and at first she felt a little uncomfortable. But Arthur exhaled a shaky breath and began to kiss her neck and gently rock back and forth. He was clearly restraining himself and tried to focus on her, his lips now back on her breasts. And soon the slow and measured movements became stimulating, and she slung her legs over his hips to pull him deeper. Letting go of her moist and firm nipples, he claimed her mouth again, his tongue plunging in deep. She arched up to meet his thrusts, providing the most sensitive angle to be hit. Sweat built up on his shoulders, and Leyla dug her fingernails into the skin as the tension inside of her rose. They both panted, and soon Leyla cried out when he increased the tempo and drove her over the edge. Leyla felt her muscles clench around him, and at that moment all the restraint was gone and Arthur roared with his own release.

He almost collapsed on top of her, and she hadn’t even minded it, but instead he lay down beside her, pulling her close. Her head was against his chest, listening to the slowed down beating of his heart, his lips pressed to the crown of her head.  
She didn’t know or particularly care how long they just lay like this, their legs entangled, savoring the intimacy between them. Slowly Arthur leaned away and tilted her head with his hand to look at him. His tender gaze filled her with joy, and he closed his eyes to kiss her gently before he said: "I love you."

**Author's Note:**

> Hey everyone! So, I'm just another fan of the game, and don't get me wrong - it's brilliant. But the moment I finished it, I had an idea how to fix it.  
> So in this version RDR2 is not a game but reality. I'm using the time-traveling skills as we know them from the movie Butterfly Effect from 2004, where the main character reads his old journals and changes his past. Therefore, it's crucial to know about the whole plot beforehand - so the OC gets the chance to fix it. You can expect some plot twists, romance, angst, a lot of music and - of course some sensuality (;  
> I've read some real good fanfics here where Arthur gets the happy end he deserves. So I just wanted to say thank you to all those great people out there who give us the fluff we all want to read.  
> Hope you enjoy the story (:


End file.
